Waiting for October

Continuing from where Summerbaby left off, take it away, Daisy!

My wife and I have been separated for five days now, for tons of reasons. First off, she had to attend her grandmother’s funeral, which I didn’t go to because not only did I have to go back to work so we can have money to pay off our rent, but also because her grandma was a homophobe who spent her dying breath telling me I’m going straight to Hell. I still get nightmares from that; been having them all week.

The second reason my wife and I are separated is because I kinda hit rock bottom last week regarding the emotional scars I got from her emotional affair from last year. I’d been trying to let slide what happened, you know? Ignoring it, convincing myself that what happened was something Paige didn’t intend to do, and that once she came to her senses, she chose me. But I guess the scars went deeper than I thought, and it all came crashing down on me one night. I kinda had some word vomit, you know? All the emotions I had hidden away kind of came flooding out.

Being separated from her has helped me gain some perspective on everything that happened, and what needs to happen. Truth is, it’s on her to fix the damage now, to fight for me, and reclaim my trust. And yeah, I don’t trust her fully anymore. I know she loves me, there’s no doubt about that. But the trust is kinda broken, ya know? And I want her to fix it.

“Hey Sis,” my younger sister, Vanessa, said. “Two more days till Paige is back! You excited?”

“Kinda,” I said, shrugging. We were sitting in my apartment’s kitchen, eating the breakfast Vanessa made for us. “I’m not entirely over it, you know?”

“I know,” she said, looking glum. Truth is, Vanessa’s the one Paige had an emotional affair with. It’s a complicated issue. “Daisy, um, I know I’ve been saying this a LOT, but-”

“It’s OK,” I said, stopping her from apologizing for the five millionth time this week. Truth is, I’m not even mad about the affair anymore; I get that what happened was a mistake, that Paige didn’t intend for it to happen, and that she stopped it as soon as she realized what was going on. I also get that Vanessa deeply regrets it all; that’s not what burns my ass.

What burns my ass is that Paige spent the rest of our relationship acting as though nothing was wrong and everything was forgiven. She apologized, yeah, but she kept on being Vanessa’s friend, like nothing ever happened. And the worst part was that, if she hadn’t done that, I’d never find out Vanessa was my little sister. So it’s like, what am I supposed to feel!?

“It’s almost time to open up the shop,” I said as I got up. “See ya later, Nessie.”

“Want me to drive you?” She asked. “Spare you the bus fare?”

“Sure, why not?” And so we left the apartment, got in Vanessa’s car, and drove to the mall. That’s where I work, by the way; I own a little computer repair kiosk! My own little business!

I waved goodbye to Vanessa, entered the mall, and headed to my business. My temporary employee, Shawna Tanner, was already there waiting for me. Diligent girl, she is.

“Morning,” I said to her as I flipped the kiosk’s sign to open. She got behind the counter, and I set my tools. Time for work!

“So, your wife comes back on Sunday?” Shawna asked.

“Yup,” I said. “Sorry to say, that’ll be our last day working together, kiddo.”

“It’s too bad,” she said. “I kinda liked working for you; you’re a good boss!”

“Thanks, Shawna,” I said, smiling at her.

One work day later!

“Man, what a day!” I said as I closed up shop.

“Hey, listen,” Shawna began. “I know it’s unusual, but, would you like to hang out a bit? You know, kind of signing off our little collaboration here?”

“Sure, why not?” I said, shrugging. I sent Vanessa a text telling her I was going to eat dinner at the mall, and not to wait up.

“Figured you would,” she wrote back, adding ten smiling emojis. “Can I come too?”

“Sure, no prob,” I wrote to her, telling her where Shawna and me would eat. We waited for her down at the food court; she was there in ten minutes.

“I, uh, kinda felt lonely at the apartment,” Vanessa admitted, blushing a bit. She’s actually been morose lately, since we came back from Bethany last Sunday. I have an inkling as to why, but it’s best not to pry. I’ll just try being a good sister to her.

Shawna, Vanessa, and I had some tacos from Taco Maker. As we munched on tacos, my phone rang; it was Paige.

“Hey, honey,” I said to her. “What’s up?”

“Not a lot,” she replied, her voice sounding sad. “You?”

“Busy day here,” I said, chuckling. “Ten broken laptops, five dirty monitors, and twelve women trying to get with me. I’m wearing my ring on my middle finger, now; gives me a good reason to flip them off!”

I was hoping she’d laugh, but she didn’t. She just sighed.

“How’re your folks?” I asked; I’m very concerned for them.

“Dad hasn’t smiled all week,” Paige replied. “And Mom’s just barely holding it together.”

“You wanna stay there a few extra days?” I asked. She stayed silent.

“I wanna come back home,” she said, whimpering a bit.

“I get it,” I said, sighing. “Put them on the phone?”

“Hey,” I heard my father-in-law, Pastor Thompson, say. “Th-thank you for calling, Daisy.”

“You hanging in there, Pastor-, uh, Tim?” I asked. He wants me to call him Tim these days; something about it feeling warmer or something.

“As much as I can,” he replied.

“Listen,” I began. “I know my apartment’s a bit on the small side, but if you ever need anything, my door’s always open for you, OK? And that goes for Elena, too. And Brandi, of course.”

“Thank you,” he said, sounding more broken than I’ve ever heard a man speak.

After a polite conversation, Paige and me exchanged some I Love Yous, and hung up. I sighed.

“Daisy?” Vanessa weakly asked, her eyes looking a bit misty. “Are you and Paige gonna be OK?”

“Hopefully,” I replied. I want us to be OK, I swear. But it’s not on me anymore, it’s on her.