Angel S. Adames Corraliza

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A Super Strong Start

Sensational! As a fan of superheroes, I have to say, you have a real winner of a story so far. I like that you made Allison a Wonder Woman expy, but kept her likable and relate-able in this first chapter. You showed us the Mother while also glancing at the Superhero, which I think is important to help the audience relate to the character more. I also like that you are showing us the baby's superpowers, and by the way, fantastic details there. And of course, defying gender stereotypes by making the wife taller than the husband; that's rare in media, especially superhero media, where women are typically shorter than men. Good job on giving the tall girls some representation there! Will most certainly be looking forward to reading more of your story!

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A solid idea

It's your first story, and I'm sorry to say, it kind of shows. An advantage to the story is that it sounds like a teenager is narrating it; I think that, if you re-write the story from a first person perspective, you'll have yourself quite an interesting tale. The idea is solid: you can never go wrong with time travel. Try and get rid of all the technobabble terms you're using; they're very distracting. Unless you know it's important to the story, take it away. I want to see more of this romance wth Guinevere, and what King Arthur thinks. I want to see more from you, keep it up!

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A Cute Story

As much as I liked the story, I truly wish it had a more conclusive finale. Who WAS Ella's mother? Is she dead, or is she still around? What will become of Ella herself? I hope you write a sequel or something, because it seems to me like this character, Ella, has earned herself a larger story. Great writing, hoping to see more from you!

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Fantastic

Although there were some writing errors here or there, they were little more than typos that did not, and could not, take away from one of the most brilliant sci fi stories I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

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