Banana spiders

I will tell you about the social standings of our civilization. I am the all father, and nothing can stand in my way. Or so I thought. You see, living under a rock isn’t all it is made up to be. Sure, the rent is cheap, and you’ll never find any solicitors at your doorstep. But the service is terrible, not to mention you don’t get any sun.

You may think I am just complaining for the sake of complaining, and I get that. I used to be like that, believe me. But living under a rock has changed me. Now I am complaining, because my life is a hassle. I used to live under a banana tree, now THAT is living. Nothing beats the tropics, if you’re not afraid of banana spiders, that is. Banana trees give you enough sun-to-shade ratio to have a healthy balance in life. And if you give the trunk a nice kick, a delicious snack will fall down right into your lap. I would love banana’s, if it weren’t for those spiders. You see, I once nearly mistook one of those eight legged terrors for a banana. They are big and yellow, after all. Grabbed ’im right by the abdomen. I felt the legs squirming between my fingers and scratching against the back of my hand. Nearly gave me a heart attack, it did. Terrifying creatures they are, the reason I moved too.

But I digress, I got distracted. I was supposed to talk to you about something, wasn’t I? Oh, that’s right. We were discussing the social standings of our civilization. It is a complicated matter, you see. It's not easy being the all father an’all that. I have to oversee every single thing that happens in our social circles. One mishap and society collapses. Of course, I’ll be the one to blame. People blame me for everything. I get blamed for every single death that happens “unjustly”. Well, what am I supposed to do? I live under a rock. I got chased out of my home by banana spiders, what could I possibly do to help you? People, I tell you, ungrateful as can be. Sure, blame me, see how far that gets ya. Oh, I’m sorry, I got distracted again, didn’t I? We were talking about something and I got off track. That is not very gentlemanly, I am sure you must think I am a terrible host.

In our civilization, you see, men and women run the whole circus. They are two sides of the same whole, the director and the artist, like the inside and outside of my cup. This would not be a cup without the outer frame and the inner emptiness, now, would it? What’s that? This has nothing to do with social standings? My dear boy, you seem to be confused. I am not a politician, nor am I your president. I am just a man living under a rock. My life is hard enough without you nagging at my doorstep. Please go away, I have urgent matters to attend to. I was supposed to be delivered some banana’s, but it seems they lost my package. I am all besides myself, what am I doing? Maybe this is a bad dream, it has to be! Why would I be living under a rock, unless this was a dream? I have to wake up. But how? Maybe I should be pinched, that should do the trick. My dear boy, could you pinch me please? Yes, right here, just pinch me in my arm, don’t be shy. Ouch! Hmm, it seems I did not wake up. What if I knock my head against the wall, maybe that will work? I’ll aim for the wall right there, in front of me. Ready? Set? Go! ..... No, still sleeping. God that hurts. I am getting pretty tired of this dream now. There is only one thing left to try. I will travel to the highest point in the world and jump down. If that doesn’t wake me up, then I don’t care what happens to me. What’s that, my boy? You want to come along? I would be glad to have ya son, as long as you don’t get in my way, that is.