Chapter 1
Attention dear readers: This content contains potentially triggering material regarding sexual, verbal and physical abuse and harassment, as well as the depiction of mental illness. If these topics are likely to affect your mental or emotional well-being, please exercise caution before continuing to read.
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Emilia
It’s been a week since my grandmother died and I was on my way to take some flowers to her grave. My boyfriend was away on business and university didn’t start until next month, so it was just me and my mum. She would not want me to worry, but I knew she was still recovering from Dad’s death when life took her mother too.
Sometimes life, or fate, or whatever you want to call it, sucked.
So, she was in denial since grandma’s death and buried herself in work. And, even worse, alcohol.
She had always been prone to addiction. She had overcome it. Ten years in AA, but now she was back in the hole, seeking comfort in her drinks. It was sad how the death of two close relatives could destroy a life. Now it was my turn to look after everything, including decorating Grandma’s grave and looking into her will.
I got out of the car, adjusted my coat, black beret and leather gloves. It had gotten quite chilly the last few days. Summer had been short this year, but I didn’t mind. I liked autumn. It was the time for hot chocolate and cuddling up in front of the fireplace. A smile began to spread across my face as I watched the wind rustle through the trees. The leaves began to fall and it was such a beautiful sight that I almost forgot it was a cemetery.
I shook my head and sighed. I wished I could see my grandmother one last time. She always gave the best advice and for the last month I had been thinking about whether or not to ask her.
I was having problems in my relationship. Something just felt off.
But I could not put my finger on it.
I just felt... well, how should I put it... like I did not belong with him.
Like fate had other plans?
Just a feeling, though, so I wasn’t sure.
But now it was too late to ask her and I had to find out for myself. I sighed again and went to the back of my car to get the flowers. Once I had them, I started walking through the woods to my destination.
The air smelled of pine and grass.
I loved it.
Being surrounded by nature always calmed me, as far back as I could remember.
My grandparents had a house with a garden that opened up to the forest beyond. It had always been my fairytale refuge. Perhaps my tree house still existed. I had not visited the forest for ten years, since my grandmother had to sell the house to pay for my grandfather’s care. She had lived in a small flat in the city until she died. Now she was back with her husband, here at the cemetery.
And all I had left were memories.
I missed her.
I had a few hundred metres to walk, so I took my time and relaxed in these surroundings. My grandmother would be happy to see me content and not broken like my mother.
I clutched the flowers to my chest and looked around. That was when I saw those caramel-coloured eyes watching me from the forest. At first I thought I had imagined them, but as they followed my form, I froze and locked eyes with whoever those fascinating orbs belonged to.
There was a low rumble and the air felt much hotter than it had a moment ago. Step by step, a gigantic wolf emerged from the forest, majestic and just a little bit intimidating.
Okay... who am I kidding? I was scared to death, although I could not contain my curiosity and awe. It was a strange mixture of emotions.
The wolf was the colour of dark wood, neither black nor brown... something in between. His dark fur accentuated his bright eyes, which he had trained on me, assessing me curiously with a frighteningly human-like gaze. I didn’t know if he thought I was his next snack...
Hell, I didn’t even know if he was male.
But what I did know was that I needed to get my medication fixed. I heard the voice again. It was whispering something I could not quite make out. What the hell are you trying to tell me? It remained silent after that, without answering my question.
It seemed that my medication was still working... but not as well as I would have liked.
A breeze sent a whiff of the wolf’s scent my way. He smelled so wonderful.
As the colour of his eyes and fur predicted, his scent was a mixture of caramel, chocolate and redcurrant. If I hadn’t seen the massive animal, I would have thought I was standing in a patisserie.
My stomach rumbled.
Yes, he smelled delicious. Strangely enough.
But he was dangerous, I told myself.
I took a couple of steps back in an attempt to get a little more distance between us.
It was no use.
Two powerful steps and the wolf was standing in front of me. Up close he looked much bigger than before.
Well, it was nothing special to be taller than me. With my tiny frame, almost everyone was. But this animal was frighteningly huge! And now his caramel scent was overwhelming.
I was confused. The wolf did not hurt me. It sniffed and walked around me in circles.
Could it smell my fear?
Dogs could, couldn’t they?
And what about wolves?
But... what wolf was THAT big?
And smelled of sweets?
Were they lying at school?
Or was it some weird shit?
Did an experiment escape from a lab?
So many questions. But all the animal saw was me, eyes wide open, mouth agape like a fish, mumbling the same words over and over again.
“Good wolf, good wolf, good wolf...” was my mantra for the day, even though I did not believe it would save me.
To my astonishment, the wolf retreated after examining me closely. It disappeared into the trees, leaving me standing on the path, panting as if I had just run a marathon, forgetting to breathe, while my heartbeat had accelerated to an abnormal rate.
At least I did not faint. It wouldn’t have been the first time.
I didn’t know if I should tell my therapist.
Maybe I should...it would be a good way to get my higher medication without lying...but they would probably send me back to the locked ward. I was not too keen on the idea, even though it had certainly helped last time.
I shook my head and walked on. My hands hurt from holding the flowers too tightly for the last few minutes. At least I had not broken any of their ornaments. That would have been a shame.
