Emily & Matthew

Chapter 01

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The Cold Snow

The ground was covered in snow. It was a pillow that repulsed most animals. The sky was rigid with orange’s and blue’s, as the sun began to take a long, frozen slumber. The cold was somewhat comforting, though. At least it was to Emily. Shuffling around her porch with stale house slippers and layers of cotton socks, she found herself perched against the railing that was beginning to frost over. A blanket clung to her shoulders, gripped around her arms as she reached down to pick up a source of warm—hot chocolate. She wrapped her naked fingers around the base of the mug, closing her eyes to take it all in.

There was peace. The world was just as quiet as her thoughts. Emily brought the mug to her lips, taking in cautious gulps of melted marshmallow and cocoa. “I don’t understand how anybody could hate winter,” Emily’s mother, Ruby, said from a chair pressed against the interior walls. She tried convincing Emily it was warmer that way.

Emily turned to face her mother. Clouds pillowed out from her mouth with every breath she blew outward. “I can see why,” with a slight smile, she reached down for another sip of hot chocolate.

Ruby shook it off, smiling and taking a sip, too. “It’s just—quiet. Spring? Rain that comes crashing down. Fall? Leaves crunching and trees dying. Summer? Sweat. Enough said,” Ruby’s dark hair was in a ponytail, exposing her neck for a draft of slight breeze. She shivered, pulling her plaid blanket up her neck more.

“Hey—Summer is nice. School’s out.” Emily pointed out.

“I’m not in school, dear.”

Emily’s stomach clenched as the train of hot cocoa poured down her throat. “I know, I know.” Her brain began to ache for her phone. Thoughts were no longer clear. Her eyes began to wander around outside, looking for a trace of her phone.

Ruby interrupted. “Say, does Matt like to shovel?”

Emily paused. “I am not inviting over Matthew to shovel, Mom.” She was already annoyed with Matthew, so inviting him over was at least miles down her list.

As if Fate was snooping in on their conversation, Emily heard her phone begin to ring. It was coming from inside. “One second, Mom.” She whipped open the front door. Slowly trotting over to the tall, cherry oak stand for coats, Emily pulled the blanket from her shoulders. Emily dove for her winter coat on the same rack, searching for the sound and a vibration. Once she found her phone, she pulled it out with victory to see MATTHEW bannered across her screen. He was calling her. Even though they were dating, Emily still felt nervous every time he called. Still holding onto the hot chocolate for warmth, she answered the phone and pressed it against her ear.

“Hey, how are you?” She answered the phone. Huh. Why wasn’t he talking? “Uh—Matthew?” After a few more seconds of silence, Emily pulled the phone from her ear to hang up. Then, she heard Matthew on the other line finally, clearing his throat. Emily pressed the phone back to her ear.

“Hey, Em, I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and . . .” he grew silent. Emily felt her heart begin to race.

“What’s going on—”

“—I think we should break up.” They both said in unison. Matthew’s words in the end obviously caused a brief silence. Emily felt weak. So weak that her fingers grew sweaty and limp, sending the blue mug crashing down to the tiled floor. On impact, hot chocolate sprayed all over the floor, and millions of pieces were sent flying through the air. The mug, just like her. Emily stepped back and nearly stumbled over her own two feet. She could hear her mother rushing around to see what happened inside.

“—Emily?” She heard on the phone, but gave no response.

Ruby flung open the door, open hands. “What happen—Emily—what happened?” She waved her arms around as if Emily hadn’t known. Emily was frozen, tears streaming down her face uncontrollably. Emily’s mother ran to hug her, unsure of what was even going on. She began to run her fingers through Emily’s hair, attempting to soothe. She understood the mug was not the greatest importance right now. When she looked over to Emily’s cell phone, she only saw the home screen still lit up.

“It’s over,” Emily finally croaked. “He said it’s over.”

“Oh, come on—he can’t be serious!” Ruby could hardly believe it herself. Emily only shook her head, beginning to wail. Ruby pat her daughter on the back, whispering, “It will be okay. It will all be okay.” She was trying to convince herself at some point, too.

But, it was not all okay. Emily sat frozen in her bed for days. The only motivation was to take an occasional shower, or go to the bathroom when she felt like it. When her bladder began to scream and sent her stomach in shivers, she knew it was time to go. She cried the days away. Sometimes, Ruby would stand outside of the door, nearly falling in tears herself—not because of her attachment to Matthew, but because of her empathy for Emily. She could feel the sadness pour down the hallway, and into her being.

“Emily—honey,” her mother said softly at the foot of her bed one night.

“Just go away,” Emily rolled over, erupting into a fit of tears.

Emily felt like it was all really over. When she tried to text him after, and the day after, and the day after that, all of his messages were sent to a void. A quiet, cold void. A void that Emily could not escape. It really was all over.

Yet, it wasn’t all over. Emily shuffled through the thousands of old texts, pictures, calls, voicemails, and videos for days in her bed. If she couldn’t have Matthew, and he really was gone, she could have this version of Matthew. She could have the Matthew that she knew. The Matthew that loved her.

Tear-stained pillows mocked Emily nearly as much as her burning eyes bullied her. Bullied Emily for feeling—for hurting. Emily had never felt this level of emotion since Roxy. Roxy, her sweet, sweet little angel of a dog. Roxy lived in her family for nearly all of her life, until one day she was gone. And Roxy was really, really gone. The close competitor was Emily’s freshman year in a different town, away from this town. When she moved away from everyone and everything, Emily felt complete isolation and longing. She missed Matthew as much as she missed him now. “I miss you,” she whispered into the night, clutching a pillow that still smelled of pine and cologne.