Silent Warnings

Daniel sighed, running his fingers through the shaggy blonde hair. He knew the habit made it stick up in the front, but he no longer had the energy to try to stop. It had gotten longer than he typically let it, the curls almost completely covering his ears.

He shuffled through the papers on his desk, trying in vain to organize the chaos that had built up over the past year. He barely saw the dark maple finish that matched the chairs across him.

The pale blue walls were decorated with pictures of him with the Davis’. They were the closest thing to family he ever had. Until Clare, but he couldn’t think of her now.

“Sheriff?” Debby, his receptionist, poked her head in.

Her curly gray hair was stacked messily on her head and her hazel eyes seemed to smile kindly at him. Debby had been a close friend of Daniel's aunt. She was the only one in his aunt’s group who seemed to care about the shit home life his aunt had provided.

Daniel had often heard Debby fighting with his guardian on his behalf. At the time, it made the world seem less terrible. She was the one to introduce Daniel to Jesse, and one of the reasons he ended up on the correct side of the jail bars. He would be forever grateful to her for that.

“Yeah, what’s up?” Daniel asked, sighing with exhaustion.

“Mr. Dobson is here and would like a word with you.” Debby smiled knowingly; concern etched deep on her face.

“Right. Give me five minutes, then you can send him in.” Daniel forced a smile.

“Yes, sir.” Debby turned but snapped her fingers, turning back quickly. “Oh, and Jackie called. She said that Cara is doing great, and the transition of babysitters worked out well.”

Daniel nodded, suddenly thinking again. Debby seemed to realize this and left, shutting the door behind her. Daniel’s vision blurred, and he bit his lip hard. This was not the time, nor the place, to break down.

At times Daniel still felt as if his grief was crippling him. Growing up, he learned that distraction was the only way to numb his internal pain. Back then, it was rejection and abandonment, self-harm was his main distraction. Only Jesse knew about that vice, and Daniel's best friend was worried sick.

Now, the pain he needed gone was an overwhelming feeling of loss and fear. Clare was gone and he was left with their baby girl. He felt as though he was constantly failing his daughter. He never once thought being a single dad would be so hard.

So, he needed a distraction. Something to focus on that he could fix, or at least help. He also needed a nanny, preferably to live in. His schedule was sporadic, and he was often on call. Bethany could solve both of those problems and help his best friend in the process.

Jesse's baby sister changed dramatically since her two years at college. She was highly secretive, jumpy, nervous, and never stuck to a job for long. She wouldn’t talk about it, but they worried she had gotten into trouble while away from home.

She seemed to be getting better for a while, then about eighteen months ago, things got worse. She started staying home as much as possible and was more reactive than ever.

Neither he nor Jesse had caught the change right away, between his fiancée, Emily, having an abusive ex on her trial, and Clare being pregnant. They had both been too busy.

He could help her now, though. He had to help her. Otherwise, he wasn’t worth the air he breathed. He failed so many people; Clare being the most recent, he wouldn’t add Bethany to his list.

* * *

Bethany jumped as someone in the apartment parking lot slammed their door. Silently chastising herself for her reaction, she grabbed her bags of groceries. Her anxiety had been on a new high lately. She couldn’t even blame it on the attack she suffered at her brother's house. No, this was about so much more than that.

She shook her head, determined to stay focused. She would get upstairs, lock her doors, and make some food. She would distract herself with chores and force herself to function.

After double-checking the locks, Bethany started browning the meat for spaghetti. Something simple that wouldn’t be destroyed if she zoned out for a second. That was a necessity on days like this.

A loud thud reverberated through her apartment, causing her to jump and turn to the door. Someone was knocking, and they did not sound happy. She continued reassuring herself that the door was locked, deadbolted with a chain guard.

“Bethany!” Jesse’s angry voice caused her to wish she could leave the door locked and walk away. “Why won’t you even consider this?!”

Bethany opened the door, letting her oldest brother into her apartment. The already small space seemed to shrink even more. Despite his anger, she still felt safer in his presence than alone.

“I have a job.” Her excuse was pathetic even to herself.

“This is Danny.” He hissed, his brown eyes burning. “He needs our help right now.”

Bethany knew that, and it tore her open to say no. Daniel was too close, though. She had kept her secret from her family for years, and though Daniel wasn’t technically family, he was about as close as possible.

Being his live-in nanny would be nearly impossible. How could she keep her anxiety a secret from him?

She couldn’t hide her anxious outbursts at his house. As a police officer, he would understand the reasoning; as a lifetime friend, he would eventually notice everything, if not at first.

Then there was payment. What if he wouldn’t agree to cash only? She couldn’t have him write a check to her other identity. She could have him write them out to her, but never cash them. She knew, though, that he would notice that eventually. Maybe not immediately. Having just lost his fiancée in childbirth and left a single father, he had enough to keep him distracted.

Her heart ached with grief and sorrow, but she didn’t see anything she could do. Nothing that would allow her to maintain her safety.

“I know.” Her voice came out as a broken sob. “I wish I could help, but…”

There was a long silence. It wasn’t the first time she wished she could tell her big brother everything. He would help her, protect her.

Looking into his eyes, though, she couldn’t help but see his exhaustion. Having recently become the adoptive father to three young, traumatized children, there was rarely a night he wasn’t woken up with screams.

He would never complain. He loved those kids and their mother, and therapy made things more manageable. However, Bethany couldn’t ask him to shoulder more for her.

This was her problem, and she would handle it.

“I’m sorry.” She said sadly.

“I know you’ve been avoiding everyone, including him, since you returned. I wish you would just talk to me, Bethy.” His voice was low and soothing as he reached out to her.

Bethany bit back her tears and took a step away. “I’m so, so sorry.”

Jesse stayed another minute, but Bethany wouldn’t look up from his shoes. Eventually, he sighed and walked out. The door shut with a loud click. Pain washed over her like a tidal wave, knocking her to her knees.