Chapter 1
Natalie
“No one will ever love you like I did.”
Those were his final words to me as I watched him bleed out on the kitchen floor for six of the longest minutes of my life.
I can’t believe this happened tonight.
I look down at my trembling hands covered in blood as the paramedic leads me to the back of the ambulance and I get in. He tends to the cut above my eye, my broken nose, and the multiple lacerations and bruises that scatter my body. My eye is swollen shut, I look like I just got out of a boxing match. He hands me an ice pack for my face and I rest my head back.
Through the back windows of the ambulance I see the coroner pull the body bag from my rental unit on a gurney. Anxiousness yet relief fills my stomach. The back door opens revealing an old friend, Noah.
Noah has worked for the Detroit police for the past ten years and quickly moved through the ranks to detective, working endlessly at solving crimes in the city notorious for its high crime rate.
“Nattie,” He says quietly, looking at me with sorrow as he sits at the foot of the gurney I am lying on.
“Everything points to self defense, we saw the restraints in the bedroom. You will be free to go but I need your clothes for evidence. We will send a female officer to the hospital with you to take some photos and do an assault kit.” I nod as sickness fills my stomach.
I just killed my boyfriend of fifteen years in self defense.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t know, Nattie. No one could have ever thought Tom would do this kind of thing. Especially to you.” He says with regret in his eyes. “I’m a detective, I should have seen the signs.” He shakes his head and rubs his face in frustration. Noah is like a big brother to me, he’s my best friend. He is a large man with long brown hair down to his shoulders, he looks like a bodybuilder because working out is how he copes with the stress of the job.
Noah, Tom and I grew up together living in the same low rise apartment building in one of the bad neighborhoods of Detroit. We lived a hard life but all of us kids did. Noah is a couple of years older than me but always treated me like a sister. He looked out for me. He is smart and kind and took care of me when my fucked up parents were off on benders. He probably feels guilty because since he started working as a detective he hasn’t been around as much, allowing this whole situation to escalate without his knowledge.
Tom was the opposite of Noah, blond and skinny, he could eat anything he wanted and never gain a pound. We started dating when we were fourteen. We were happy. By the time I was seventeen I got pregnant with Molly and that’s when he started to change. The stress of taking care of his girls was too much and Tom started to drink, do drugs, cheat and subsequently became abusive. He resented us and essentially became my parents. Since I loved him and had already endured this once in my life, I willingly put up with it all over again, blaming myself for the situation happening twice.
For years I managed to keep it a secret. Molly was now twelve and the day he hit me in front of her a year ago, I knew things had to change. Seeing the fear in her eyes made it click that I had to leave. I couldn’t have my daughter think this is what love is supposed to be, because it’s not. And I couldn’t risk him eventually turning on her.
I started to plan my escape, I squirreled money away and found an apartment. When I told Tom I was leaving, he lost his shit. And that’s how I wound up here. He attacked me, raped me and beat the shit out of me. After a good scuffle, I ended up stabbing him twice in the stomach with a butcher’s knife. He bled out on the floor of the kitchen before me as I called 911.
Aside from kneeling beside him and gently putting pressure on his wound, I did nothing to try and help him as I watched him struggle to breathe. You would think it would affect me more, but the fucker had it coming for what he’s put me through. I was just happy it was me who killed him and not the other way around, if only for Molly’s sake.
“Please tell me your story Nattie.” Noah says, breaking me from my thoughts.
My eye meets his and I take a deep breath. “I told him I was leaving him. I can’t have Molly being victim to this. He lost his shit and raped me. Afterwards we ended up in a fight. He punched me in the stomach and then kneed me in the face. I grabbed a butcher’s knife off the counter and I stabbed him twice.” He takes notes as I speak.
“How long has this been going on?”
“Molly was about five when it started, that's when he was really starting to get into the booze, causing him to be irrational and abusive. It was minimal at first, few and far between. But the past couple of years he became way more violent. He always accused me of cheating on him, so he made me take the day shift at the diner and started restraining me in bed overnight among other shit.” I say with shame. Tears stream down my bruised and swollen face.
How did I end up here?
Noah continues to look at me with sympathy. “Okay. They are going to take you to the hospital now. I won’t be far behind. Is Molly still with Barb?” I nod again.
“Please tell Barb to keep her for a few days. I can’t have her seeing me like this. In a couple of days I’ll go get her and explain...something.”
How do I tell my twelve year old I killed her dad?
Once at the hospital they do a rape kit which I know would confirm he attacked me. They take photos of my naked body, noting the bruises around my wrists, arms, neck and the swollen eye, busted nose and lip. All signs point to abuse which is exactly what this was.
After they are done with their examination, I get dressed and take a seat in the chair waiting for a ride home and Noah comes into the room taking a seat across from me.
“So what’s the plan now?” He asks as his eyes take in my wounds again.
“I can’t stay here. Too many memories, too much trauma. I need a fresh start.” Noah looks at me disappointed.
“I’m sorry that you want to leave but I completely understand. Tell me what I can do to help.”
“Help me get set up somewhere warm.” I chuckle lightly.
“No more winters eh?” He grins knowing how much I hate being cold.
“Nope. If I get to start over I’m going somewhere warm. I’ve always wanted to live in LA.” He smiles and stands up then rubs my head, kissing me on top.
“Alright I’ll help you find work and an apartment.” I stand as well and he gestures towards the wheelchair to leave.
“Thanks Noah. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I say with a small smile.
“I don’t know what I am going to do without you. You’re like a sister to me.”
“I know, but you need to take more vacation anyway, and now you can vacation in LA when you come to visit us.” He gives me a wide smile and I take a seat in the wheelchair.
“Sounds like a plan.” He says and pushes me out of the hospital to the car where we begin to plan my cross country trip to start our new life.
A/N: Despite Natalie's past, this book does not contain any trigger warnings as I do not go into detail about the abuse she endured. I hope you're excited to see where this goes! And yes, I put this glaringly obvious conflict into the book nice and early for ya. xoxo
