After Thought
I could just sum up how my life went completely downhill the moment I stepped into school that day. But that would be boring, in fact, you'd probably fall asleep and have nightmares. Sometimes I still wake up in this cold chamber panting and sweating because of what I've done, seen, and . . . lost.
But I can't tell you everything here, it's too much. For me, I mean. I'd probably start trying to gouge my eyes out with the plastic spoons they give me or I'd at least cry myself to death. I think those are equally bad.
I wish I could tell him that I'm sorry, and I wish I could beg her for forgiveness. Most importantly, I wish I could bring them all back to life, even for a minute, because a minute is all I need to tell them how much I wish they would have killed me instead. Sounds crazy, I know.
If I could take back everything, exactly to that morning, that time where it felt like I had an eternity to fall in love, to grasp success, and to live, I would give anything just to see them again.
Being trapped in this godforsaken hellhole has left me feeling depleted, empty, tired, and useless. But maybe I deserve it. For not saving them when I still could, before I dug too deep, before I knew who I was, or rather, who I was meant to be.
I just want to say sorry. For everything. I want to apologize in person to everyone. Again, I know, to you, it sounds crazy. But the story hasn't even begun.
