Confusion
Hannah Payne sat in her small silver car that morning, frozen, with tears falling down her flushed, light tan cheeks. She was shocked with the fact that her best friend, Russell, had just given her awful news: Ray, Hannah’s boyfriend of three years, had been caught sneaking around with another girl. And not just any girl, the head cheerleader, Ava Torres. Ava was what others considered a beauty: jet black hair, gorgeous tan skin, sea green-blue eyes, and large boobs that bounced as she cheered in the high school games.
Hannah was in denial. She didn’t want to believe Russell, she couldn’t. Ray was someone she looked up to, someone she cared for. In fact, she thought she was in love with him--which was why she was going to get to the bottom of these so-called “rumors.” And fast. He was her first--and only--real boyfriend. The first boy she’d ever kissed.
Refusing to let herself break down anymore, she wiped at her dark brown eyes and pulled herself together as best as possible--which wasn’t very well. With all of these crazy rumors, on top of it, her parents had just filed for divorce, leaving Hannah in the middle of who she wanted to live with.
Climbing out of her car, leather brown messenger bag in hand, she sped past all of the flocking girls, gossiping all around her. Hannah had to focus on finding three people: Russell, Ray, and Olivia.
Olivia Torres was the younger sister to Ava and best friend to Hannah. Olivia looked nothing like her sister, in fact, the only thing they really had in common was their parents. Olivia had honey blonde hair, round, doe-like blue eyes, and skin as white as paper.
The weather in Los Angeles was nearing the low seventies, meaning the doors to Bellwood High were wide open, a cool breeze sweeping through the high school doors, ruffling Hannah’s brown hair as she went.
Searching through the crowd of people, Hannah made her way past a group of scowling boys watching a group of girls. Hannah stopped beside them, looking at the group of squealing athletes. Girls with high ponytails were chatting away, others with iron curled hair were twirling small strands between their fingers. Hannah couldn’t believe her eyes when she looked up to the tall boy all the girls were flirting with: Ray Williamson.
Anger bubbled in the pit of Hannah’s stomach, bubbling up to her cheeks, flushing them a deep, strawberry red. She barely saw any of the other people roaming the halls as she pushed past them, let alone heard their curses. Russell can’t be right, she thought to herself, Ray loves me. He would never cheat on me.
“What the hell is going on here, Ray?” Hannah boomed, fighting to keep her voice low. No one else needed to hear their fight.
“Nothing,” Ray’s voice was cool and collected, his expression blank and calm. “I’m just here talking with a few of the girls. Pepping them up for their upcoming games, isn’t that right girls?”
“Yes,” a blonde girl answered. There were a lot of nods from the others.
Hannah turned from the girls to Ray, her right hand clamped across the strap of her messenger bag, knuckles turning white with rage. She was so confused, she didn’t know who or what to believe: Russell, her best friend, or Ray, her best friend since Kindergarten and current boyfriend.
Before she could ask anything more, Ray came at her, smashing his lips against hers, his tongue prying her obedient pink lips open, his tongue mingling with hers. But this kiss wasn’t like all the others she was used to. This kiss wasn’t full of lust and passion, instead it was full of detachment and force. Almost as if he were forcing himself to kiss her, which Hannah didn’t like.
Hannah jumped as her back collided with something cold and metallic. “It’s just the lockers, Ann,” Ann was Ray’s nickname for her since they were kids. Hannah didn’t like that he called her “Ham” when he couldn’t pronounce her name at the time, so he, insisted, from then on, call her Ann.
Hannah kept her eyes close, wondering if Ray would bring his lips back to hers, if she’d taste caramel coffee on his lips, if he’d bite and pull at her lips with his teeth? But no, when Hannah finally opened her eyes, she found that all of the girls had disappeared, which was a relief. But what wasn’t was that Ray had left, too.
Hannah felt weird and alone and another feeling she couldn’t quite pinpoint. Shaking off the weird feelings, she pushed up from the blood red lockers, hearing the warning bell as she headed to her locker to grab her books for the beginning of her long day.
Lunchtime couldn’t have rolled around any sooner. Hannah’s stomach was growling so loud, she was sure it was unnatural. Walking the halls with Olivia, Hannah’s best friend, the two made their way to the cafeteria. “I’ve been hearing weird things all day. But when I ask what it’s about or who it’s about, everyone just looks at me like I’m… weird.”
“You are weird,” Hannah joked as Olivia popped her hip, pushing Hannah, which only made her laugh ever more. “I love you.”
“And I love you, but I just have a weird feeling about lunch today,” Olivia stated, her blue eyes growing with concern.
“Me too, I heard they’re serving rubber chicken for two weeks,” Hannah wrinkled her nose abhorrently at the thought of eating rubber-like food.
“I’m serious Han,” Olivia pleaded, “will you just be careful, please?”
“Yes,” Hannah answered, sucking in air between her teeth, seeing that Olivia looked a little relieved. “Now let’s see what’s on the menu.”
“Definitely not rubber,” Olivia lightened.
“I wonder where Russell is?” Hannah thought suddenly, her dark brown eyes calculating.
“Over there,” Olivia pointed a pale finger at a boy with bright red-orange hair and eyes the color of seaweed.
“Of course, he beat us,” Hannah muttered under her breath, Olivia giggled.
“Doesn’t he always,” Olivia retorted.
After Hannah and Olivia had gotten their food--hamburgers and flimsy yellow fries--the two sat down next to Russell. “Hey,” Hannah said, grabbing at a fry and dipping it into tomato red ketchup before it made its way into her watery mouth.
“Hey, did you work out that problem between you and Ray?” Russell began, the freckles across his nose wrinkling as he talked.
“Well, I uh--” Hannah gawked, completely baffled as she swallowed her mushy fry. “We kissed,” she offered, wondering if Russell would drop it.
“What’s going on between Russell and Hannah?” Olivia asked, her honey-colored hair shimmering in the fluorescent school lights above them.
Hannah fought the urge to bury her head in her arms and hide until everything blew over--if it blew over. At that moment, she felt feeble and embarrassed and used. Her cheeks flooded a vibrant pink color as she turned her attention to Russell and shot him a glare signaling that if he went on, she would kill him.
Of course, Russell ignored her. “I heard from Kyle Hale that Ray was sleeping around with Ava.”
“My sister Ava!?” Olivia shouted, clearly stunned by this news.
“You heard this from Kyle? You didn’t tell me that,” Hannah said crossly.
“So,” Russell asked Hannah, “what’s the big deal?”
“The big deal is Kyle and Ray are best friends. I know Ray and I know that he has it out for Kyle. That’s what Ray does. He makes friends with his competition.”
“Maybe Kyle’s lying,” Olivia tried.
The two girls craned their heads, looking around the bright, loud cafeteria, searching for the blonde haired, blue-eyed charming senior, otherwise known as Kyle. When they found him, he and Ray and a couple of other dark-haired guys were laughing at something Ray was saying.
“Why is everyone staring at us?” Olivia asked, her silky blue eyes wandering over the leering crowd.
“I have no idea,” Hannah replied, running her fingers through her coarse, brown hair.
“You think this has something to do with the rumors about you and Ray?” Russell asked, his voice curious.
Hannah didn’t answer, instead, she turned her attention back to her food, suddenly feeling completely enveloped in the juicy taste of her hamburger.
Hannah and Russell walked together; they had said their “goodbyes” to Olivia as she walked into english. Russell and Hannah had business class together with old Mr. Porter. Porter was a nice, cheery man who always stood up for what he believed in but was respectable enough towards others’ opinions.
“You’re a fucking slut, Ann,” a familiar voice erupted behind the two of them. There was only one person who called her Ann.
Adrenaline pounding through her veins, Hannah reluctantly turned around to find her boyfriend and best friend since childhood standing before her. “Excuse me?” she asked, looking into the light brown eyes of Ray.
“You heard me, you dirty little tramp.”
“I don’t understand, where is this coming from?” Hannah asked, her heart shattering like broken glass.
“I saw you with Russell. You’ve been cheating on me, haven’t you?” Ray’s voice got louder, attracting the attention of everyone around them. The hallway went silent.
“That makes no sense. Russell is my friend,” Hannah said, biting back a lump of tears that threatened to spill from her glossy dark eyes.
“So, you sleep with Russell, but you won’t give it up for me?” Ray said, completely ignoring her statement.
“Can we go somewhere else to talk, please,” Hannah pleaded, hoping Russell stayed out of this, like he had for the past minute since Ray started verbally bullying her.
“I knew it, you are sleeping around. How many other guys are you with, you bitch?”
Hannah felt as though everything was crumbling down around her, she felt hurt and betrayed and that maybe Russell and Olivia had been right the entire time. She suddenly felt the heavy urge to slap the growing sly smile off of Ray’s face; she wanted to make him hurt as much as she was hurting. She wanted him to stop embarrassing her in front of every watching person.
“I’m not with anyone! I swear,” she couldn’t help the tears that raced down her hot cheeks, drowning her pores in tears. Hannah was so confused, she was still a virgin, she’d never been close to “giving it up,” as Ray had put it. In fact, when Ray had pressured her into sex, she’d refused, and he’d backed off. Could that be what this was about?
“I don’t believe you. You’re a lying whore. You always have been, haven’t you?” Ray continued. Hannah suddenly felt the urge to look around. Through her fuzzy vision, she could make out Olivia’s gawking expression full of sympathy; she could see Russell, frozen and lastly, her eyes found Kyle and they didn’t leave. Kyle looked at her, pity written all over his face. But Hannah didn’t want his pity, she wanted his help. She wanted someone’s help. And if none of them were going to give her any help, she would do this on her own.
Her heart pounding in her ears, Hannah peeled her eyes off of Kyle, her attention going back to Ray and Russell, and before she could say anything more, Russell threw a punch at Ray. It was heavy and fast and full of rage.
But before Russell’s hand could make contact with any part of Ray, the dark-haired boy side-stepped and threw a punch at Russell to the gut. After a few more blows to the face, Hannah heard a crack and Russell fell to the floor, his nose bloodied and bruised.
Hannah wanted to rush down to the floor, wanted to cover her arms over Russell and beg Ray to stop. She knew Ray boxed out his anger in his free time, she’d seen him hit the red, worn punching bag--and Ray was good at it.
She unconsciously turned her gaze to her best friend, Olivia, watching as she was screaming at Ray to stop, her face beat red with anger. She was beating on the toned arms of Kyle, trying to get out of his grasp.
Do something, Hannah’s subconscious told her as she turned her attention back to the two fighting boys. Stop them before one of them dies. I think we all know who’s going to make it out of this alive. Hannah dazedly watched as Ray pulled his right leg back, swinging it forward and knocking over the grunting redhead on the floor, struggling to catch his breath, his eyes squeezed shut in agony.
Suddenly, Hannah was pulled back to the time she and Ray were six, playing Pirates in his wooden treehouse. She and Ray had played for hours out there, throwing around fallen, crumpled leaves in the Autumn as their ammunition. After, they had rolled around in the mud after it rained, army-crawling across the mushy lawn in their fresh, blue jeans and long sleeve t-shirts. Their parents weren’t too happy about their dirt-infused clothes when it was time to go home.
Her memory then changed to when the two of them were both sophomores in high school, fifteen years old. That was the first time Ray had asked her out on a date, the first time he’d ever mentioned that he was interested in her.
Later that night, he had stolen her first kiss. His lips had been soft and consuming, his rough hands had tangled themselves in her--at the time--shoulder-length hair. He had looked deep into her eyes with his deep, honey-colored ones, enchanting her with his deep, luscious voice--
A loud thud snapped Hannah back into reality, thawing her frozen body. Her mouth fell open as she watched Kyle throw a few punches towards Ray, knocking the boy into a couple of tall, thin red lockers.
The blonde-haired boy moved with such speed and persistence that enchanted Hannah. To her, Kyle looked like a cheetah chasing its prey, moving at such a profound speed. His blonde hair moved like a sunflower blowing in the wind, shuffling with every slight movement he made; his muscles flexing and protruding from under his gray shirt, causing Hannah’s mouth to suddenly go dry.
Once Ray was knocked to the ground, nearly unconscious, Kyle turned to everyone standing in the hallway, their eyes wide with shock. “What are you all looking at? Go!” he shouted at them and they all scattered like wild turkey, their voices muffled as they talked amongst themselves.
A small figure ran towards Hannah and wrapped their arms around her, squeezing. Hannah found herself hugging Oliva back. “I can’t believe that just happened,” she sobbed as the tardy bell rang, signaling that they were all late to class.
It wasn’t the first time Hannah had been late to class, in fact, all of the reasons she was ever late were because of Ray and his extended make-out sessions. But Olivia had never been late to class in her life--and Hannah admired her for that.
“What happened out here,” a loud voice boomed down the long, wide corridor. “You,” the Principal, Mrs. Foster, pointed at Kyle, wiping a strip of blood away from his busted lip. Hannah hadn’t even realized he’d taken a few blows. “My office, now!
“And you two,” Mrs. Foster pointed at Olivia and Hannah. “Get those boys up and move them to the nurse. You’re all late.”
Kyle held a slight grin to his face as he walked down the hall, turning left into the principal’s office.
Olivia broke away from her embrace with Hannah, turning towards the two boys on the floor. Olivia made her way over to Ray, her hand nearly grazed his skin as he flung his hand out at her; an enraged look on his face as he cursed her out, getting to his feet. “I don’t need any help.”
Hannah shrugged as she and Olivia watched Ray limp down the hallway, holding his bloodied nose and bruised lip in his raw knuckles. They almost chuckled as he entered the principal’s office.
Turning back around, the girls each took a flimsy arm of Russell’s. Hannah swallowed and Olivia winced as they each took notice of his black, bruised left eye, his bleeding nose trailing a line of blood across the floor and smeared across his graphic white t-shirt.
The three of them moved slowly down the hallway, careful of Russell’s bobbing head. Hannah feared he had a concussion--or something worse.
The young-looking woman in the small nurse's office had her silky black hair pulled up into a loose bun, her eyes shone the color of luscious green grass. In the brightly-lit room, Miss Lee concluded Hannah’s worst fears: Russell did have a concussion. Miss Lee asked that Hannah and Olivia keep him awake as she notified the principal, Mrs. Foster, that the local hospital had to be contacted.
I wouldn’t go in there, Hannah thought to herself as she blew out a large breath of air through her open lips.
As Miss Lee left the room in a hurry, Olivia spoke up, “I feel so bad this happened to him,” she gestured to Russell.
“Don’t, it’s not your fault,” Russell choked out, putting his left hand on his head, he used the other to shield his eyes from the light. “It’s mine. I’m the one who budded in.”
You’re right Russell, Hannah thought to herself. It’s not Olivia’s fault. You were just defending me. “Why do you have to be so stupid,” Hannah shot at him, refraining from hitting him in the shoulder, afraid she would hurt him even more than he already was.
“What can I say?” Russell said, his breath ragged. “Mr. Porter is a great influence.” At that, both the girls cracked a smile.
Only Russell, Hannah said, shaking her head at him.
