Feeling Small
Selina sat on the edge of the concrete apartment building looking out towards the town below her. There were tons of lights coming from cars, shops, and other apartments. Selina loved sitting up here and watching them sparkle and shine. It was fascinating watching life from this height. Everyone else focused on their own thing as Selina looked down as a spectator. One man was walking out of Hot Dough’s donut shop with a big white box filling the air with a sweet donut smell. A woman was walking on the sidewalk with a child in a stroller, as the child shook an orange toy phone. Workers in all white uniforms were delivering packages to a nearby pharmacy. All of them living their own little lives in such close proximity to each other. Selina often thought about how it was such a small world to notice these people often on a routine basis, but how huge it was knowing there were billions of other people all over doing simple tasks like the people around her now.
With a sigh, Selina stood up and took the fire escape down to the third floor of the five-story apartment building. Near the fire escape was an open window that was covered with white sheer curtains that were now slightly blowing in the breeze. Selina crawled into the apartment through the window. Ivy had her back to Selina and was standing in the kitchen on the left of the apartment. The television, on Selina’s right side, was on, but was barely above a whisper. There was a scent of tea in the air, like it was brewed a few minutes ago.
“One day I am going to get you to come through my front door, Selina,” Ivy said, as she turned around from the kitchen counter.
Selina smiled, as she stood to her full height.
“So, what’d you steal tonight?” Ivy asked.
Selina chuckled. “What? A girl can’t just go out in her suit at night?”
“They can, but you don’t.”
Selina smiled, as she hopped up on the couch. She put her focus on Ivy, who now leaned back against the counter behind her.
“So, what were you up to?” Ivy added.
“Just scoping out locations for jobs,” Selina said, simply.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea to get back in the game so soon?”
“It’s what I’ve always done.”
“What you’ve always done and should do now are two different things.”
Selina looked off.
Ivy took her time, as she walked towards the couch. She sat down and faced Selina. Gently, Ivy reached out for Selina’s hand, lacing her fingers through Selina’s.
“Talk to me,” Ivy whispered.
Selina sighed. “Being out there jumping from building to building keeps me distracted. I get to feel the wind pass by me, as the adrenaline pushes me forward. My head can finally be empty for once.”
Ivy paused. “You haven’t allowed yourself to think more about it, have you?”
Selina hesitated.
Ivy gave Selina’s hand a comforting squeeze.
“It hurts,” Selina muttered. “I ran away from a good thing, because I was afraid of the changes it would cause. In a moment of selfishness, I ran off on the one I love.” Selina took a breath. “That’s not something I like to think about.”
Ivy nodded, slightly. “Have you spoken to him since?”
Selina shook her head. “But he calls me every day. I never answer, but he always leaves a voicemail. After a while, I stopped listening to them.”
“Because you left him in the dark.”
“He wouldn’t understand.”
“Not if you don’t let him.”
Selina looked up into Ivy’s eyes.
“I know it’s only been a week, going on two,” Ivy continued. “But you’re wrapped up in this cloud of sadness and self-pity and think if you ignore it, you’ll be fine. You let emotions sit around long enough, they’ll fester up into something you can’t control. I don’t want to be there to clean up the mess when it spills.”
“What if I just want to avoid the mess all together?”
“That’s not how life works.”
Selina sighed, as she looked away from Ivy’s eyes.
Ivy paused, as she studied Selina’s face. There was a slight grimace pressed upon her lips. She would slightly open her mouth like there was something she wanted to express, but she’d close it just as quick. Ivy was wondering what was volleying back and forth in her head to knock her into silence.
“I know you’re dealing with a lot and I don’t want to make it worse for you,” Ivy said.
Selina looked back at Ivy.
“I just want what’s best for you,” Ivy continued. “I’ll always be here for you, Selina.”
Selina slightly smiled. “That means a lot to me, Ivy. Thank you.”
Ivy smiled back. “Of course.”
Selina leaned in and kissed Ivy softly. “No one else takes care of me like you.”
Ivy chuckled. “Now, go get some rest. It sounds like you need it.”
Selina kissed Ivy once more. “Fine, since you’re the one telling me.” Selina stood and headed towards the window.
“Am I gonna see you again tomorrow?” Ivy asked.
“Of course, baby.”
Ivy chuckled. “Good night, Selina.”
Selina smiled. “Good night, Ivy.”
