What is your opinion?
I love the hook
"I'm fixated on diseases and health issues, so this really peaked my interest! I love the characters, especially their dialogue. The narration goes with the character very well and I enjoy the personality the author has. An amazing read"
good read
"I cant quite tell how good the story will continue since its only the first chapter but so far I would say I liked it. even though it wasn't exactly my genera. the characters inner conflicts were so realistic and it felt like the writer had experienced some kind of incident her self to pour feelings in to the dialogues. just not saying that she a heart disease.To whoever read this review so far go and give the story a try it would be worth it."
heartsteel rematch
"The idea of a beating steel heart is very interesting. Your concepts keep the reader glued to the story and it has a great buildup. However, your writing style does need a bit of work. At times it is hard to understand what you are trying to say. It is easy to get lost in your attempts to get your meaning across. Some of your characters have gone from 2 dimensional to 3 dimensional, but they don't stay there, and constantly tweak back and forth between the two forms. While you do have a solid plot line your story becomes uncoordinated at times making it hard to follow. All of that aside the ideas and concepts behind the story are very well thought out and have a massive amount of potential. At times in the story you seem to be overextending yourself. Keep in mind a single word when you begin to do that, K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Silly) your racing ahead too fast so it's taking a lot out of your story and the concepts within it. Keep going slow and easy, don't bunch it up like you have at the moment. You need to back up a bit and start over with the Visit to the doctor where she finds out about her heart being made of metal. You totally lost it at that point with how everything became bunched together. I became lost while trying to read it at that point and couldn't follow the story from there. I was really enjoying it to that point, but now things have become confusing and now I'm not sure what your trying to convey. "
