sugarmay1234

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Intriguing

I personally am not into those kind of relationships which makes me slightly biased. looking at it from an authors perspective it is a really different and unique writing style. while i know you state at the beginning you want the reader to imagine the world for themselves and therefore you use minimal descriptions. I think this story could benefit from a few more descriptions to fill out the world a bit more. These extra depictions and details would also help slow down the pace of the story. Try show the reader more rather than tell. this could be done even in the dialog. I also understand the little space means the descriptions are altered due to the different head-space and perspectives the main character takes on and I think you could feed off of that in a way that gives the characters a more full bodied and rounded persona. I wish you luck and i think there is potential in this story and i love the quick pace you write with as it reminds me of a stream of conscious style, just getting out the ideas and putting them down because you can't wait. I think it is a great way to write and shows your passion as well as you own unique thought process.

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I LOVE IT!

I am definitely going to continue reading this goddamn it is so good! I love the characters and i feel like you have really fleshed out the chapters and make the most of every word that you can. It's funny as well and moves at a really good pace. I feel like there could be some more hesitation and tension though. as well as more internal questioning when her powers first come about. Why does she automatically go to being a witch? i feel like she could question herself and the powers more.

Overall you are a brilliant writer and i look forward to keeping up with your story especially with the dashing Henry now on the horizon.

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Really great!

I really loved how the story started out so strong and vivacious and then started to settle into the plot and the characters start to develop more. can't wait to read more! the references I found comedic as well as Archie's inner thoughts and it made me want to keep reading. Some gramma things here and there and I will say Archie comes off as somewhat feminine in the beginning which isn't bad at all i was just slightly confused about the gender. Other than that I really love it!

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