Pretty Good Lesbian Romance
I read a lot of romance and even more Lesbian Romance, so that fact already made me interested. Having read through it, I can say this is a great story at it's a core, but may have benefited from a perspective change. First person views are easier and so the common preferred style to new writers, but it's not always best. Third person views are much better at giving a bird's-eye view of the complete picture and explains the situation fully, rather than just what each character is thinking in the moment. I can say this now because I've experienced this personally. I used to be a solely First-Person writer, until someone pointed out the same thing to me and now I only write in Third-Person and I've found my stories and writing skill have improved as well.
Read the story now
Despite this, I find you write very well and your prose is enjoyable, so it makes up for the limited scope of story view. I think this story is great overall, and I'm happy to have read it. Please continue to write more, and I will surely be willing to read your future work.