Thetravellersloft

Court antics and adventure

This story opens strong, where we meet a very likeable and headstrong girl, Marie, and follow a bit of her daily routine. The next chapter launched into following the story of a new character, Castiel. 

There’s just something really enjoyable about hearing a story from two sides of the same coin and I found myself smiling as I heard the alternating story of events.

I was immediately drawn to the developing relationship between the characters and I am looking forwards to seeing how this will develop over the course of the plot unfolding. The story has a witty undertone and it is amusing to read the antics of court and the characters trying to be matched for marriage, I look forward to reading just how it will unfold!

Great descriptions

Wow! This story has some amazing world-building descriptions and quickly pulls you into the storyline, taking off right in the middle of things.
Quickly introduced to the main character, you get a strong sense of how strong headed and stubborn she is, which is needed considering the state she is in! The main character is definitely the pinnacle of strong female lead.

The first two chapters quickly paint a sombre mood and a sense of desperation, giving an insight into something in motion that is a lot more dangerous than just the storyline of the character of themselves, so it will most certainly e interesting to see how they will entwine. Captivating start, nice work!

A great start with compelling writing

I liked your opening of her pacing it matched the blurb about your story containing werewolves and I instantly thought of a caged animal. Great opening! I loved the fact that she works in a sort of clinic - genius. The world was quickly built and I thought for an opening chapter it quickly gave you an insight into Keira as a character and placed me in her shoes immediately.

I am already interested in the potential development between Kiera and Gabriel - which didn’t take long. You did a great job at wiring an aloof, commanding character (that’s a little bit swoon-worthy) in just a chapter.
Likewise how you immediately made Jack feel like a ‘warm/safe’ character.

Your second chapter already added to the world building well, establishing the rules of your creation. I particularly liked how little information you gave around Kiera and Jacks relationship and how they came to be living together keeping my interest piqued! Excellent timed cliffhanger for chapter 2 too - I’ll be looking out for the next part!

My only suggestion would be try to eliminate using ‘I’ too much and vary the format of your sentences - but honestly this is me trying to find something to feedback on. Nice work! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this :)