I thoroughly enjoyed your narrative style. It truly seemed like someone tired and desperate and not a little bitter. You portrayed multiple emotions very well; it felt quite real. Sadistic children are a personal terror of mine, and this was definitely on point. I can't think of any criticism to bring to this review, really, so I'll leave it at this. I hope to see you publish more!Read the story now
Pulls you in!
I was very impressed by your writing style. You pulled me in and hooked me from the beginning, and as someone with a limited attention span, that's a major accomplishment! I will admit the subtlety went over my head at first, as I had to reread it more than once to understand that Ed himself was paranoid and the sickness was only in his head. That's probably more a problem with me than with your writing, as I find it difficult to not take things literally. Once I had that "aha" moment and things fell into place, it hit me at just how well you portrayed that. Keep writing! I hope to find more stories from you soon.Read the story now