Andrew Wooldridge

A good start!

I found the surreal story with the sci-fi wrappings to be very interesting. There's a lot of potential there. The author needs to think about a few of the word choices, and stick with either first or third person ( the perspective changes often ) but once the author gets warmed up I believe the story will shine through! The setting is very interesting and I find I want to know what happens next, always a good sign for a story.

Great first start!

I feel like this author grew a lot while writing this first chapter. The beginning seems a bit more unfinished, but as the bombs fall and the dialog starts, they seem to be more comfortable in their writing style. I would suggest going back to the start of the chapter and make it feel more like the rest. Overall, very good! Would like to have a bit more descriptions of the characters - appearance, expressions, clothing, etc. But so far good job!