twhappy7817

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Sàd

A tragedy similar to Romeo and Juliette just as heart wrenching

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Cassina

Cassina is fascinating. I like all the plot twist. I would recommend proof reading backwards to find small errors

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Really good

This is a story not to be missed. Terrific characters and plot, the story flow is easy to follow. Definitely consider getting this published.

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Terrific

Very nice !

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Intrigued

So many mysteries to unravel. I'm looking forward to reading more.

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Constantly kept in wonder

Fantastic story with a incredible amount of twists and turns.

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Mates

I don't like all the cursing, I like the story idea but not the girls

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Intriguing

Really good story, I hope jo finds her powers soon. Constructive criticism is work on your word usage and proofreading backwards is the best way to find easily overlooked mistakes.

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Armoured wolf

Fantastic story I'm hooked I

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Fantastic

Now that I'm finished reading this story, I find myself hoping it's part of a series. I would love to read jasmine's story.

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Ups and downs

When I reread this chapter, I noticed a few sentences that have the wrong pronoun. Using him instead of her, or he instead of she when Celeste is talking about herself. Your update is still essential to the story but put my understanding of Lazarus in a tailspin.

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Working

Your story line is good, characters are interesting, but editing is definitely necessary. One example...when she is told to learn the main authors first. You used the word hard try instead "asap", "as a priority", or even "quickly".

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Love and Loss

There is so much to say, About reading this Manuscript The characters go through so much I hope it ends well.

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Surprise

Full of unexpected twists and turns. Worth reading.

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Cliffhanger

I love this beginning and can't wait to read more. Please update often

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Tears

A few sentence structure errors and occasionally some spelling issues, but a very engaging story.

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Blown away

Really terrific writing.

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One sided

I can't help but feel she should voice what's going on with her dad with the whomever she has contact with its utterly frustrating that she's so quiet.

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Window

Your story is interesting and seems to be a totally different cultural experience

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Getting better

At first I couldn't understand why Luminita was so wishy washy, but I'm getting happier with the events that are unfolding

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A wish

I wish this was a movie

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Different

There is so much going on, I'm not sure where the story is leading. There are a few grammatical errors But as She originally speaks Dutch it's understandable.. It will be interesting to see how the story turns out.

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Love, hate

I do like this story but I'm rooting for Milo instead of malac and for her to express love for malac and him to express his love to her is just so sad.

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I need more

Dying here
Talk about a cliffhanger

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Incredible

I love escaping too new worlds. Yours is fantastic! They're some small errors. You may try proofreading backwards to catch them.

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24 hours in a day

You have a good story but the flow of the writing seems a bit rushed.

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Blown away

Incredible! I can't wait to see what happens next. I weep for Edward and Myra. Also Myra's parents past and present. Poor Steve I hope he finds true love but not with Myra. I hope she can fix Edward

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Really strange

I had trouble with all the foreign language interrupting my thought processes as I was reading this story so I wasn't as attached to the characters as I normally would have been, still it's an interesting story.

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Publish worthy

A little bit more editing ( Try proofreading backwards to catch the small amount of common errors) and I feel you should consider taking the manuscript to a publishing company. Your characters are fascinating. They have a good depth and they have interesting backgrounds. I commend you on the way your story flows and the way you handled the insights to the past.

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Good story

I enjoyed this story a lot. The scenes flow well from one to another and the characters have a good depth, however I hate how often they take God's name in vain and there other cursing that is very heavily done.

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Bad girl

This story is definently worth reading. There is a feisty sense of fun. I love it.

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Mars

A pretty good story but unfortunately loaded with a lot of profanity

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A good mystery

Try proofreading backwards to catch the small errors. They are the ones that get overlooked because are brains are wired to read it properly even when words are out of order. Your story is very interesting and I'm looking forward to reading more.

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Very strong story

This story is a very good read as characters are deep and involving keeps your questioning the motives right up till the very end

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Interesting

Good story line, very few errors in one paragraph not should have been used instead of no, overall this is well written. The characters are fascinating. I look forward to reading more.

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Changes

There needs to be more of a defining of who's speaking. The plot over all is decent but drags out. Basic editing is also needed. Still a good effort was made in defining the characters.

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The best story I have read since the hobit

Terrific story full of adventure, heartache, fun, romance and suspense.

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this is a funny quirky story

A fun read

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Interesting

This needs editing! Other than that it's a very compelling story

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Favorite

I love your writing. Thank you for giving me an escape from the stress in my life.

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Terrific

Great novel but she should have told Marcus how she truly felt before getting with Graham.

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Starting a bond

This is a good start to a manuscript. The characters are deep and the story line pulls you in. You may try proofreading backwards to catch the small errors.

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Where did the guy's point of view go?

Your characters are interesting the story more from his perspective.

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Tantalizing

I really enjoy reading your work. Experiencing both sides of the emotionally charged chapters is an incredible experience. I look forward to the rest of the story. I'm rooting for Nicholi.

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Waiting

I'm now rooting for Arlo and Lilly all the way. I'm also worried about Amber.

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Wow

Truly, great writing. I commend you on your characters.

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Nice Work

This is an unedited story and I understand that, so after editing and removing the curse words; I would give the author's writing style 4 stars. The story itself has a really good concept, however there doesn't seem to be any catalyst in the majority of the rest of the book which is unusual.

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Things to think on

Now the story is getting better. But that's all you wrote. Sad

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Trouble

A little editing is needed. Overall a good story. I think she is short changing the King though.

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Thought provoking

Well the story does need editing and proofreading of the tenses, and word usage. Overlooking all that; Here is a great story told in a way that the story flows, keeps your interest and doesn't seem predictable. The author is a talented storyteller and should pursue it further.

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Unique

Pretty interesting

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Grim truth

A few words here and there a misspelled other than that it's a decent story

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Ouch

Fantastic, you do have grammar errors and cursing is really bad. But I loved the story line and the ending

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Set back

She is so selfish. Why doesn't she tell him she wants to travel. They could travel together. He needs her the kingdom needs her, and she knows it.

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Pain and heartache

Wonderful story that I hope ends with happiness for rose and elis

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In love

This author has already knows they're errors in the manuscript. The story is fantastic.

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The wilhams

A good story that needs more details to really pull you in also try proofreading backwards to find easily overlooked mistakes.

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Analdra

A very well written fantasy

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His possession

After Taylor's confession of loving both the good and the bad sides of him. Why is she so wishy washy. I also think they should get married so at least she couldn't be forced to testify against him.

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The Elementals

The story is touching, heartbreaking and amazing. It should be shared, should be read and it definitely should be published. Good luck

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Aurora

Your story is a good one if you can get past the cursing, and using God's name in vain. (A major pet peeve of mine) also some editing is needed. Had was used instead of hair for example.

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Phoenix

This is a great story. You shouldn't have any trouble publishing it

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Phoenix

Interesting story, but if thanatos really likes her why wasn't he kind to her

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Wow!

I love your work. Talk about a twist ending

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Heart break

It's heart breaking, knowing that I can't just read this story. My regular life has to intrude. Your a fantastic author

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Heart of the sea

I'm looking forward to finishing this story

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Born

Very good story, I want William to break the bond between her and Chris. I think she is William's true mate

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A good start

Interesting developments in unusual characters. I like it.

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Interesting Angle

I love the twists and turns in this story. I hope you submit it to a publisher so I can buy the book.

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A good story

It's a good story even with misspellings, and problems with word usage. Construtive criticism is have others proofread your manuscript.

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Good

Overall a good story. Try proofreading backwards.

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Interesting

I like his hidden feelings for her. They seem to spontaneously combust around each other. Thank you for your update. Nicely done

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Sharing a life

This is a very moving story. I feel like we have got to grow with Holland as she realizes her feelings and fights for love and friendship.

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Possessive billionaire

I can't get connected to the characters. The speed at which events happen are to quick. There needs to be more back story more feelings, descriptions..but It isn't a total loss you have a start and your writing will improve the more you write.

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The arrangement

I liked the twist and turns of this story. I felt the triumphs and pain as the characters evolved. Publishing this should not be hard, but you need to proofread it backwards to catch all the errors. When reading normally your brain naturally reads the words that should be in a sentence whether they are there or not.

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Kidnapped by the agent

Fantastic story and terrific characters. A little more proofreading needed though.

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Hope

This is a good story, however the good guys seem almost powerless. I wait with bated breath for what happens next.

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Enchanted

This is a great story. I hope you go on to be published. I would like to read more of your works.

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Beyond the stars

When is this torture for this poor girl going to end?

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painful

The story is so painful I want her to wake up so badly ...break free like she supposed to. have her mother tell her what's going on, do something this is killing me.

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Impressive

Very good work! Also very few grammatical errors

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Tear jerker

Talk about a tear jerker. I almost wished there had been errors I could have focused on to take away some of the sadness and pain.

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Example

You should have no trouble getting this story published. I give it 5 out of 5 stars

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Wonderful

There are few stories that capture my attention like this series. Lord of the rings maybe... in a word this manuscript is fantastic! The constructive criticism I can offer is more proofreading. Very few errors were found.

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Chosen one

Very good manuscript. I feel for little Emily's plight. Your grammar so far is spot on. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Good story

This is a great manuscript, it has a believable plot, and deep characters. My constructive criticism is simply proofreading backwards. A lot of mistakes are made because your brain fills in what you thought you typed. simple errors can be easily fixed just by proofreading backwards. you're an amazing writer keep up your good work

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Elegant liaison review

Really great story. I love the characters, the way the story was revealed, all of it. To give some constructive criticism there were times the word chosen didn't fit. He was used instead of she. Or a name was used that was the wrong person speaking. My advice is when your proofreading your work start at the end and go backwards.

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Review 2

I love your story, it reads a lot like a harlequin novel. I'm totally engrossed and can't put it down. The only advice I can give is sometimes the wording didn't fit the sentence. It didn't happen often and I understood what you were trying to say. Other than that it's terrific

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Full moon

I love your story. I do feel like she should feel more attraction to benji though since she is his destined mate

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Review 1

You have a good story, I like the characters as well. A few things to watch out for. You used ejaculated a lot instead of interjected, also cleared instead of declared. I love the dept of the quotes that have been interspersed through this story. I also love the prayers and thoughts offered to God, the story is very positive and is unpredictable. Which are great features that I hope continue to the end.

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A story with bite

This is a good story. Constructive criticism is you need to watch your tenses in your sentence structure.

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Another good

Another good story, but I wished you would have glossed over the abuse.

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A good start

This was a small taste of a good story. The characters seem to have depth, but not enough chapters were available to read currently to make a decision on the story itself yet, so I'm still not quite submerged in the story. I typically don't read thrillers unless they are fantasy. Grammatically speaking your story is very well written.

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Perfection

I loved this story.

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My new favorite

You're my new favorite author. Fabulous reading.

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Better than ice cream

I hate the queen, seriously does she have a heart. You though, are a fantastic writer. Constructive criticism a little more proofreading wouldn't be remiss.

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Very engrossing

I love this story, I am so glad you wrote it. Thank you

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A good read

I have truly enjoyed this book so far

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On the edge of sanity

This is a terrific story. I wasn't so bad for him to understand her past. It's killing me.

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Fantastic

A fabulous read. I'm glad I didn't miss this.

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Love

Rose, is horrible to him.

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A bite

Good so far, but seriously sad

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Words

The story is very gripping, and descriptive but again tons of cursing. Very few grammar issues.

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Drowning

I love your deep characters and the story line is descriptive and engaging, but seriously there are a lot of words in the English language that can be used instead of cursing and profanity, please leave God and Jesus in church, call on them for help, but their names are not bywords!

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New love

This is a fantastic read, the flow of events was perfect. I have read 1000's of books from different authors and I feel the only thing you could do to improve this story is more proof reading.

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I like it.

This story is good, you feel the characters pain and even when the sentence structure or wording isn't quite right you still can understand their intended meaning

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