Roooia

Sydney

Not following anyone yet

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Pretty enticing story so far

Oooooh I especially like how the chapter ended! Very suspenseful. I think that your writing style is excellent, coherent and not haranguing. Your grammar and punctuation are almost immaculate save for a little tiny missing comma in the description. As for spelling, “came home from ice skating practise” should be practice with a c. I don't really understand why some paragraphs don't have a line separating them, but formatting isn't that much of a deal. I do enjoy the story so far! You have captured the protagonist's horror and grief very well and I look forward to future chapters! :)

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