vinbino

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Great story that grabs you

Really enjoyed reading this. I love the concept felt really original. Also the voyeuristic nature of how it felt reading it was really powerful.

It really brought back memories of reading Juliette by Sade and that is a good thing.

Would love to see where this goes, could head in a number of different directions.

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Classic Genre, lots to come

Hi There, I love end of the world type books. The passage, the stand etc. so have a huge soft spot for these stories. If I am honest there is not enough here for me to judge correctly I feel like I need more, I need the story to unfold and the pain to begin so that I can see where the story is heading.

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Lots of potential

I really like where this story could go, lots of room for something really big and feels very open to a interesting world/ adventure.

Personally I felt like it needed to slow down as the use of the very short sentences felt too punchy and I got the sense that at the beginning the writing was designed to invoke the sense of panic but it didn't completely work for me... Slowing it down and building up to more of a panic could bring the reader with you as there feels like there is not time to take it in and to get familiar with the character and his surroundings.

Some of the above could be taken into the other chapters as it feels very quick and almost loses its intended edge or suspense/ excited because things happen to quickly in terms of the writing.

I hope this helps and makes some sense, I am new to this!!

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