Will Nuessle

Will holds a third-degree brown belt in ninjitsu, primary caregives a five- and two-year-old and claims he can recite the alphabet backwards in less than ten seconds. He also writes occasionally.

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Light Fantasy

The author is a delightful person and her talent/ability unmistakable. This story is clearly presented if perhaps a touch simple.
It's certainly not the author's fault that I left off Anne McCaffrey's 'Dragonsinger' to enjoy 'The Miserable Prince'; most fantasy tales would suffer by comparison! But the two stories have their similarities; in each case a lighter, less earth-shaking plot than the standard Tolkein or Lawhead or Rowling fare, both relying on character strength perhaps than gripping narrative.
If 'The Miserable Prince' stumbles slightly, in my opinion it is because the author does not give me enough time on any one character's shoulder. The POV changes were rarely confusing, but while in 'Dragonsinger' McCaffrey lets Menolly carry the entire tale, and one is invited to experience her pain and grow to love her, the ball was passed between so many in 'Miserable Prince' that it was all I could do to keep up; and, again, no Tolkein-esque narrative to pull me along.
But though it could be stronger, it is a lovely story just the same

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Slooooow Start

Unlike Chere I did find a few errors but this is one of the cleanest manuscripts I've had the pleasure to read! I did struggle, though, to engage with the character; there was so much averyage everyday description that seemed to have nothing to do with moving the plot forward

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A Good Start

No denying this author's passion, or his desire to tell a good story!
The format was an interesting choice; no reason not to have the first few chapters be a story synopsis and a list of characters, but...I want to get to the actual story as soon as possible. I want the author to reveal the characters to me in-story, not show me their high-school yearbook. 8-)
Once into the writing itself, there were some grammar/punctuation problems that kept me from being drawn in very far. I also know from personal experience how hard it is to write dialogue that sounds realistic; this author is definitely shooting for that but I don't think they've quite nailed it.
Nonetheless, I do hope they keep writing!

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Much to See

The writer's voice was clear and strong; there were steady grammar/punctuation issues and yet not so overwhelming that they drew me out of the story.
Full-frontal on a fifteen year-old character certainly did; this is a very bold and arguably story breaking choice, especially on the first page!
There's also, of course, the immediate Harry Potter thought upon reading the summary; obviously the author is writing an original story but one wonders if it is original enough to keep readers' attention...

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Wow!

One of the most challenging things for a new writer is finding their individual voice. I have no idea how long this author has been in the game, but her voice was EXTREMELY unique and captivating. Please continue writing! Brava!

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Roller Coaster!

Starting off with one of the top ten opening sentences I've ever experienced, the author invites the reader to continue on a carnival ride, daring them to turn away from the created world

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A Lovely Start

I'm hoping the author will find this review encouraging, as their passion for the craft and love for their characters is very evident! No question that they worked very hard on making this story a reality.
There were, unfortunately, a number of grammatical/formatting issues that made it a constant challenge to really get into the story.
I think there's some real potential here, and I hope this writer keeps at it!

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Intriguing!

There's no doubt the author loves her subject, and the characters. Her passion is very evident.
The story itself, at least through Chapter 6, felt a little flimsy. It might be just a personal taste thing on my part, but I didn't find a whole lot of conflict, nor did the main character have a clear, strong goal besides 'the man in her life' which is a perfectly fine goal, but might not sustain a reader through a long story.
A few typo/grammar issues marred the reading experience as well...but the writing shows great promise!

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Ray Bradbury would be proud

"These aren't meant to be particularly good or well-written, mostly just interesting and weird." - from the author's summary.
They are definitely interesting and weird, and succeed in the pretty good and well-written category also

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Fires on All Cylinders

As a Harley rider with more than 100,000 miles under my belt, I was waiting for some motorcycle action! Denied!
That's literally all I can come up with as far as 'difficulties' with this one. The author's voice is excellent, the plot is intriguing, and the technical skill spot-on. I want to do two things; encourage the author to get ten chapters in before the next open competition, and enter...
...and please, write on my wall when the book is done.
I never say this.
Ever.
But I want to read this story in its entirety, and I don't want to have to wait. I'm going to try and forget the first five chapters and come back when the story is complete.
And sit back with a rum and coke and dive in.
Please keep writing!

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Some Attention Required

The writer's passion is undeniable, though for my taste the story ramped up too slowly. (There's a reason why agents are known for rejecting books where the MC wakes up on the first page! Very overdone!)
There were some grammar/punctuation problems that kept pulling me out of the story--but the world the author has created is definitely interesting

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A Strong Start

I would normally just comment, not review, a work only One Chapter old, but the author is asking for reviews...
The writing is pretty clean, which I appreciate; for personal taste I'd much rather be drawn into a story than told quite so much information, but the world felt well thought-out.

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Extreme Vulnerability

If you are in the mood for a deep, personal look into a person's life, this is the story for you. The format was a tough sell... all the ellipses... got under my skin a bit... but the voice was unique and compelling for all that. Please keep writing!

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Work In Progress

I hesitate to review stories that are obviously incomplete, but the author asked for reviews...
There is a lot of potential here; I like a good, fast-moving adventure and the author is definitely aiming for one. There were enough grammatical problems, though, that I just couldn't get deeply into the story. I assume this is an early draft and such will be addressed, however.
Can't wait to see this when it's finished, edited and tightened! Go Jake!

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All Systems Are Go

Mark this author on your Watch list--he is going places! Excellent science fiction; the SAVIOR suits reminded me of the exoskeletons in Heinlein's 'Starship Troopers', which is high praise.
A bit of trouble knowing who had the ball, POV-wise, but that's a minor issue.
Nicely done!

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Cotton Candy Sweet

The author is definitely passionate, and I would venture a guess that it's not her first time out! The writing is clear and technically solid. There's no doubt either that she cares about her characters and invites the reader to come along.
Personally even in my love stories I like a little more meat on the bone--would love to see the MC have deeper stakes, more goals than just the Love Story, but if Love is what you're looking for, this is a good place to find it!
Please keep writing!

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So Passionate

The author loves their characters. The care is undeniable. The still-learning quality of the writing is also pretty clear, but we all learn as we go, and this author is going to go far. Some of the word choices are a little forced, and there's some minor grammar issues (although head and shoulders above many of his competitors!) and for my money I'd love for the Main Characters to have more at stake, a deeper desire than just Can I Fall In Love.
But the passion cannot be denied, and if all you need is Love, you'll find it here

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Such Passion

Definitely suggest this book for 18+ due to the violence; but what a passionate story!
It is hopefully safe to assume that English is not the author's first language--if that is true, I am astonished by how well they are doing in a second language that (I'm told) is incredibly difficult to pick up. Some of the subtleties of idiom and phrase are lost, unfortunately, but the grammar and punctuation is in better shape than many new writers who have English as their only language!
If it might help, would definitely recommend reading any books by Clavell the author can pick up--set in Japan, but with a greater command of the language, they might help in shaping the prose.
I also very much hope this author continues writing

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Pull Me In, Why Don'tcha?

It is uncommon (unfortunately) to find well-written books in this community; understandable, given how many of us are new to the game.
This writer definitely is not.
Kudos!

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Getting There

I wanted to like the story, and the author's passion is undeniable. I have no idea how much writing practice or experience they have, but the word choices and underlying grammatical issues kept pulling me out of the story...

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Simple and Sweet

It can really be challenging to draw in readers when the story ramps up to the conflict; one has to really care about the character if things aren't slam-bang right out of the gate.
This author invites me to care about her character.. The prose is clear, for the most part, and there were few grammatical issues I noticed (which is a big deal for me!)
I hope this author has many more stories to tell

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A Good Start

This writer definitely cares about her characters! Her passion is undeniable.
The story in its current form is unfortunately very raw! I wanted to get into the tale but the grammar problems kept pulling me out. Hopefully this will be addressed as the author moves forward.
Please keep writing!

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Lots to Like

From the clever chapter titles to the fun dialogue, this author gives the reader a lot to enjoy. There are some minor grammatical issues, but this story is head and shoulders above many out there in that aspect!
I struggled to get drawn into the tale, however, because of how much was Told to me rather than Shown me. It's a personal preference, perhaps, but I want a tale to draw me in, make me feel like I'm on-scene with the characters experiencing the world, and instead I kinda felt like the author was on the other side of a coffeeshop table telling me what had happened.
Nonetheless, I hope this writer keeps at it! Their passion is undeniable 8-)

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Quite the Roller-Coaster

I feel like I've visited a foreign land, which is not something I say a lot when reading new writers! The setting and characters were very clear, as was the author's passion. A recurring grammatical issue (missing periods at the end of dialogue--strange) kept nagging at me, keeping me from really diving in, but the writing was nonetheless reasonably well-crafted. Kudos!

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Couldn't Get Drawn In

The author's passion was evident immediately and I wanted very much to like the story, but I found some serious grammatical issues that kept kicking me out...
Nothing some practice can't improve--please keep writing!

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Some Assembly Required

The writer's passion and drive is unmistakable! They definitely have a story to tell. Unfortunately there were grammatical issues in almost every sentence, and I just couldn't get past those. Best of luck with future projects!

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Simple and Sweet

It's fun to read a story where the author loves their characters. The tone and voice definitely invite the reader to love them too. As a personal taste I like a little more meat to a story, and there were some mildly off-putting grammatical issues, but this writer's passion is undeniable. 8-)

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The Challenge

The author's passion and heart for her characters is undeniable--but I want to challenge her to more! I want to challenge a wash-through of some sort of grammar program (or getting feedback from beta readers?) as there were some grammar/punctuation issues that made reading a little difficult.
Moreso, I want to challenge the writer to really dig into the story and Show Us more! One specific example: the 'Zechariah's Point of View', 'Isabelle's Point of View' scene titles. I want to challenge the writer to delete those entirely...and write it so well, so clearly, that the reader KNOWS who has the POV ball from the first sentence of each scene.
She has it in her! I believe this! 8-)

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Read This Book Now!!!

Come for the cover, stay for the delightfully intriguing first sentence, and then look up three hours later wondering what just happened?
Do not start reading this one right before bedtime, or mealtime, or anything you can't do while reading...

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Hold On Tight

Was reminded of ee cummings as I read, which I say as the sincerest compliment. This isn't a 'book' so much as a journey, no, a deep dive one would be wise to take a full breath before embarking on. Be warned; by the time you reach the surface you might be forever changed...

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A Strong Beginning

The passion and heart behind the author's words are clearly evident. It was a challenge to get deeply into the story as there are quite a few grammatical/structure problems, but that's something we all have to get past, and the only way out is through. I hope this author will continue writing!

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Maybe it's Me

This might be a case of a reader not getting the writer's voice; there are a number of praising reviews.
But I felt like just about everything was being told to me, and almost nothing shown. I want to feel drawn into a world, I want to see through the eyes of the characters, and instead I felt like the author was sitting across from me at a coffeeshop. 'This happens, and then this happens, and then, oh, this happens!'
The author's passion and fun as a storyteller was evident, and I hope they keep writing.

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So Passionate

English is not this author's first language? I'm astonished and impressed--yes, there are issues but the author gets an extra Technical star for the sheer challenge. The passion and dedication to their craft is very obvious; I hope they will keep writing!

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Even Steven

The author definitely respects the language, and is not an amateur when it comes to the craft--unfortunately, the...fairly bland story structure and pacing stood out all the more as a result. No question the author is passionate, but I didn't find that passion on the page. It wasn't so much like I was experiencing the story firsthand so much as being told the story by the author across a coffeetable. It wasn't an intimate, 'draw me into the story' experience.

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Lovely

It's February; I couldn't pass up a chance to read a celebration of Black History! The writing was clear and concise; a tad dry perhaps but that's just a personal preference. I hope this book sees many more chapters!

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Required Reading

This is a rare gem: honest, heartfelt, thoughtful and well-written. I wanna write like you when I grow up!

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Raw and So Real

I am astonished at the courage of this author to take something so personal and make it so public. The writing itself is raw--how could it not be? She's relating her own life--but the passion undeniable. I hope this is not the last we see of this author

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A good beginning

It's challenging to review something in such an early stage, but what is not in any way rough or uncertain is the author's passion. I hope she will continue writing!!

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Read This Book

Read this book if you like westerns.
Read this book if you like coming-of-age stories.
Read this book if you like well-written tales.
Why are you reading this review?
Read this book!

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High-School Hijinks!

Having written more than one book that takes place in high-school halls, I can say this author definitely knows their medium--this reads like something straight outta homeroom! There were some typos/grammatical issues but not so much to detract from the passion and creativity of the author.
(One note from a veteran; if at some point you want to send this to agents, they are traditionally *not* fans of main characters waking up from sleep on the first page, ha ha!)

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My Timbers Done Been Shivered

It's exciting, it's fast-paced, I like the main character. Avast, me robot hearties!!

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Unexpected Delight

What a unique twist on the age-old tale! The author's voice is clear, the writing crisp and the plot strong. Kudos!

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Beautiful

'Brevity is the soul of wit' - this piece as a whole or in parts is remarkable. Brava

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Intriguing

Reminiscent of Piers Anthony's 'Incarnations of Immortality' series - a fine, dark narrative

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Read This Book

The story does not start bang out of the gate, but this is an observation, not a criticism! (I write such stories my own self.) The author is well able to craft an intriguing character, one who has no difficulty drawing the reader into the meat of the story. There were a few typos/grammar issues, but are so rare as to be only barely worth mentioning.
Thank you for writing something well worth reading!

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Excellent

I have literally never read any flash fiction prior to this--I lucked that my entry into the world could be so well written. A classic concept delivered clearly, concisely and yet beautifully. Marvelous!

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Feels Unfinished

Was surprised the author at the end asked for a review; was just going to leave a comment. But since they want it...I'm assuming this is still a work in progress? 'Chapter 1' just says 'start writing here', which I can only imagine is a phantom chapter that hasn't been deleted, even though the work has been made available.
The story...was there, I suppose; feels more like a blog post or a one Chapter kind of thing. In addition, the grammar and punctuation could stand with some editing.
Again...I was just going to leave a comment, but the writer specifically asked for a review

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Wait for it...

The author has one of the most unique voices I've come across in some time; the word choices are clever, if at times a little too clever (there were a few sentences that seemed inserted not to serve the story, but because perhaps the author liked how they sounded?)
My main struggle was with the plot; I'm not sure there was one. The story felt like, to quote Homer Simpson, "A bunch of stuff that happened." I didn't find a narrative thread, any stakes for the main character...what was the overall goal?
There were shades of Dave Barry's *Big Trouble* or film *The Big Lebowski*; the writer certainly can tap into that particular vein.
But it was just a bunch of stuff that happened. 8-)

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A Beautiful Beginning

I hate to leave as low a review, but sincerely hope to add more stars in due time!
The author without question cares about her characters, and asks us to care as well.
Unfortunately, the grammar and structure challenges (the tense changes from past to present often mid-sentence, which is common for new writers) make it very difficult to get into the story itself.
I hope you will keep writing! This story deserves to be told!

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Great Potential

The author obviously loves her characters, and invites us to love them also, which is wonderful!
The challenge might be loving them too much? To be captivating, a story must involve conflict. Certainly the fellow children calling Emma 'freak' is conflict, but beyond that...? It felt like any risk of hurt or pain was almost immediately resolved, almost as if the author couldn't bear to put her character in danger.
On the technical side, the abundance of pop-culture references was a bit off-putting for me personally, and there were some grammar issues that kept me from fully engaging with the story.
But Ms. Corsi has created a beautiful world that I wanted to be drawn into, and hope to be in time. 8-)

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Didn't Grab Me

I believe this author will go far--there are flashes of brilliance in the prose.
Unfortuately there were a few grammar/punctuation problems, which kept pulling me out of her exciting story. The most severe was a fairly constant switch between present and past tense, often in mid-sentence. One example: "Something falls through the cracks, (present) and pain smiled at her hand (past). The blood drips down (present) - and she could almost hear it drop onto the floor (past)."
I look forward to seeing the story get told the way it deserves! 8-)

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Delicious Frosting

Not much depth to the story, but the chocolate frosting is rich and tasty!
The technical skill was pretty tight, save for the new trend at making every bit of dialogue its own paragraph.
One concern...is it ethical for an author to leave themselves a five-star review? That leaves a surprisingly bad taste in my mouth, personally.

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From the Heart

The author's passion and love for the craft is clearly evident. No question she cares about her characters, and I hope she will keep writing! There's a learning curve to writing, for damn sure, and it can be very challenging to get the wording right. Only experience (and reading the work of others! Every writer should be a voracious reader!) can smooth out the wrinkles--I hope this writer continues and reaches new heights with every chapter

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