Walter Rice

Seattle

Author of crime novels Holes in My Armor & Smarty Havarti and crime novellas Dig & The Kansas Cross-up. Former newspaper editor, reporter.

No published stories yet

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

The Voices in My Head

An unbalanced young woman provides first-person narration and draws the reader into her fragile world toward a grim conclusion, The story is well-written, and the sentences flow like water. The narrator's flat voice helps sell the character's tenuous grip on reality.

I'm not much of a fan of the present tense in fiction, but considering the ending, I think it does work here.

I was a little confused about the location as I tried to reconcile truck stops, Albany (New York?) and the British/Canadian spelling. (Being American, I notice those variations.) Without the Albany reference, I could easily have gone with Canada, but I don't really know. What I would recommend is either answering the location question directly or, better yet, finding some way avoid it.

Also I'd like to see some of those long paragraphs broken up to serve the grim nature of the story better.

All in all, this story really works, and the writer should have a bright future.

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.