A Brief Introduction
The Definitive Guidebook by Ulric Mires
So, you’ve decided, for one reason or another, to move to the great and garish city of Gullwurst. An understandable choice, a growing port city like Gullwurst is filled with opportunity and excitement around every corner. But don’t be fooled. Underneath the brick-laid exterior and fresh seaside breeze lies a tremendous pit of vice and danger. When you move to this city, you must be prepared. Thankfully, I, Ulric T. Mires,[1] will assist you in this Herculean task. I have lived in this city for a little over 5 years now, and I know it like the back of my hand. When you find yourself overwhelmed, lost, or confused (and you will) this guide will be your lighthouse and closest companion through the unfamiliar modern wilderness.[2]
Before we properly begin our tour of Gullwurst today, we must look back at its history. Only by understanding its humble origins can we understand the complex inner workings of the backbone of civilization it has become today. It all started about 25 years ago. Gullwurst originally started out as a small community of fishermen and their families. Back then, it was said that the seagulls outnumbered the humans 3 to 1, and rumor has it that the fishermen would resort to hunting and eating them if the fish were scarce. The population size of the town largely stayed the same for about 9 years. Thanks to the arrival of inventions like the modern coal powered fishing boat, the assembly line, and canned goods, Gullwurst built a thriving fishing goods industry over the span of a short decade.[3] Yes, surprisingly enough, everyone just can’t seem to get enough of canned fish, fish oil, fish leather, and fish fertilizer.[4]
I was one of the many people who added to its population around a year later. I grew up in a small farming community roughly 7 hours[5] out of the city. We were doing well, a little too well. With 12 siblings and inventions that would reduce the labor needed to run a profitable farm in half, I was left with no choice but to find work in Gullwurst.[6] Like you, I was alone in a foreign landscape with no clue what lay before me. Thankfully, you have a great advantage over that man from 5 years ago, my experience in your back pocket.
