AKFox

Writing has been my passion since I was able to read. Hope you all enjoy the stories I write^^

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great read

As the book is now, it's great and I would certainly recommend it to any fantasy readers. Though it still needs some editing, it is easy to read and the sentences flow almost effortlessly. Killian's character could be expressed a bit better and that also counts for the others. They seem to me all the same. Try to give them all their own distinct personality, something that makes them unique. I know the she-wolf is cold and distant to her mate, but her personality underneath that layer resembles the others too much in my opinion. This is especially important at the beginning of your book as this will draw the reader in. Still a great read.

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Love it

It's a great story and has a lot of potential. however, i notice you don't start a new paragraph when somebody else's talk. This can ve confusing to the reader. For the rest I suggest to start your book with a more exciting introduction, something to pull the reader in. It's not a bad introduction, but i noticed for me it did not really catch my attention, enough to make me read further, but not enough to make me feel excited.

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One of my favorites

This story is one of my favorites. It's written extremely wrll and the story line is amazing. It really caltures your attention. And not to forget the dyanmic between ro and the prince of darkness. It's really fun

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Amazing story

I am hooked by your plot, I really want to know what she is and if she will keep both her mates.
Your writing style is nice to read too, you only need to check for some typos as there are a lot of them. Also, don't add a third person view if it doesn't add anything. The switch from first to third can be confusing sometimes. Another tip is to go jnto more depth, deseibe what they feel, if their heart quickens which feelings are seen in their eyes. It gives the character more personality too.
But overall it's an amazing story and can't wait till next chapter.

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great written

The story is overal really great written. The converstation between the characters sound real and you also desribe the scene very well. I actually do not have any to say on it. It is easy to follow and makes you want to read more.

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Amazing

The story is very well written. It has a couple spelling mistakes, but the storyline makes up for it. It's a book I recommend.

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great book

It is an amazing book, and I love the fact you have dragons. One of my must haves to be a great book. And the way it is written is amazing. It really draws you in. However, I am not giving it a five star rating, because it drags on too long. I lost interest in reading after chapter 110 or so and started reading again at chapter 124 something. And I have to say, those 10 chapters that I missed, I didn't miss them at all. I honestly believe this story could be even better if you write the book in multiple ones, with each one having it's own plot. or make the story shorter.
Still, in overall, especially at the start, great book.

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A great read

It's an easy read, but I would love to have read more. For most op the book you are using on plot, the romance between Autumn and Elijah. Though i can see another one with the high mountain, but you don't address it until almost the end of the book. For the rest, you could add some "filler" chapters to show the personality of the other characters. Maybe even add more dimension to the relationship between Elijah and Autumn as I think it went to fast at some point. Would have loved to see more struggle. An example could be that day Marie, Lydia and Autumn went shopping. Or maybe something happened at the ball. It would add more tension to the story. I would also recommend to proofread your chapters better. Don't know if you use a programm, but there are some mistakes here and there. For the rest it is a great read and easy to follow.

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Love it

The story is amazing and I love the creativity put into it. Ther are some mistakes here and there but nothing that disrupts your reading.

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Grear read

I am hooked to the story. I can't put it down but I notice a lot of mistakes and you tell lot instead of showing. It is still a great book and you know how to hook a reader. The only problem is all the inner thoughts. They can add information but also get you out of the story if you add to much. I notice I skip sometimes paragraphs of inner thoughts because they bore me. Just wanted to let you know^^

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Worth the read

Though there are lots of mistakes in the book, it is still worth the read. I love the creativity put into the world of a different world. I would only try to slow down the pace. She is in a strange world and almost raped and I do not see anything of that traumatic experience in her actions. I would love to see some character development. Nonetheless, it is still a great read and I believe when you have progressed in your writing you could bring this book to great heights. The idea is there and that is what's important.

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Amazing read

This book is so different from your typical werewolf story in a good way. It is certainly worth the read. And even though it needs some editing here and there, it isn't anything to be concerned about. Everyone's first, second or even third draft contains faults. The story is there and I would recommend it to anyone who loves fantasy novels.

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lots of potential

Your story has a lot of potential and love how you create cliffhangers and add suspension. However, as I read it feels to hastily written. Try to describe what she sees, hears and smells. It allows the reader to paint a picture and it won't read a bit forced. Overall keep on writing and improve your writing^^

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amzing

Amazing story, your descriptions are great and it's very easy to follow. I'm sure that this will be a popular story.

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under the moonligt

The story has a lot of potential and it's easy to follow. However, your descriptions are all right, I notice that it doesn't always flow effortlessly, like you are skipping things. This is no problem, but if you want to get published someday, the story needs to flow effortlessly. This can be a hard thing (I still struggle with it), but you can try to add more descriptions about what she hears, sees. You could write about people talking, hand gestures when someone is talking, the look in their eyes, what they feel. This also paints a better picture of your characters. For the rest, don't use smiley's in your books. It breaks up the story.

All in all, keep up the good work

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great story

Your book is great, and I can see it has a lot of potential and the only reason why I didn't gave five stars is because I missed some better descriptions.

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nice story

The story itself has a lot of potential. However, there are a lot of grammatical issues. I would also recommend to change the conversations. It doesn't read nice, and it gives me the feeling as if they are constantly screaming and being overdramatic. If you can change this in the story and restructure some sentence, you will come a long way with your story. ^^

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amazing story

The characters are amazing and it's very easy to follow. There are some grammar and spelling mistakes, but it doesn't make it harder to follow. The descriptions are nice too and I can't wait to find out what will happen.

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great story

The story itself is great and fun to read. The characters are also intruiging. However, I would recommend on focusing and improving your descriptions as those will decide if your book will get published or not. Just read a lot of other works and analize them, prefereblay professionals or inkitt writers who you know write good, and you will be fine. You can learn a lot from other peoples work.

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great story

There is a lot of potential in your story and the convo's sounds real. However, I miss something, some better descriptions of her surrounding area and what she feels. It will allow the reader to get more into the story. For the rest its a lovely story.

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amazing book

just like the title says. It's amazing, it draws you in, making you want to read more. The descriptions are detailed and you can easily feel what the characters feel. I really recommend the book.

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great book

I really love how your book grabs my attention and I and excited what will happen next. The only reason why I'm not giving you five stars is because of the structure of some sentences. For me, it doesn't read nice if sentences keep starting with I or after. It's not wrong to start with them, but don't overdo it. Try not to write: I walked to the kitchen to makes some bread. After I made it I ate it. I strode to the living room and read a book. (this is a very stupid example as you write better than that, but it shows what I mean) For the rest it's very easy to follow as you describe things perfectly, maybe you could write a bit more about what she sees and feels as she looks around, but it's not a need. I really recommend the book.

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Great book

I like your writing style and how you describe things. However, I notice that I have a hard time following the story in the first chapters as a lot is happening. For the rest it's an amazing book and the story interesting too.

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amazing book

The descriptions are amazing and the book itself really grabs your attention. Do not have any comments on how you can make it better as I really think this is one of the best books I have read.

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great book

I really do not have any tips. I love the main character and you exactly know how to portray her, only giving the readers a better picture to paint. I also love Mckeon who is a jerk, it really keeps the story interesting. Keep up the good work^^

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nice story

the story has me hooked as I really like the characters, especially Levi. You could make Doriane a bit stronger, I get why she is the weak girl, but even weak girls can have strong thoughts, even if they do not act on it. For the rest I recommend on reading through all your chapters to see which sentences you can restructure.

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amazing written

It's greatly written and makes you want to read more with each line. You describe the emotions of the head character in the best way possible and know how to build up the suspense. It's a book I recommend reading if you love fantasy.

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Can be better

I feel like you rushed the story. The characters show potential, but you could have gine into more depth with them. Descriptions helps too, like what they see, hear, feel and what their faces look like. It helps to make a better picture. The storyline shows promise and would be way better if you paid more attention to those details.

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Fun story

It's a fun story to read and easy to follow. I love the dynamic between adams and nai's moms. The descriptions could be a bit better, like what they smell and hear, but overall great story

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it has potential

The story is amazing, and it has potential to become a great story. However, I notice you start often with I and then and more. When you do this, it can read a bit robotic and comes over easy. You can easily change this by using commas and signal words. You could also put more depths in the characters, you can do this by writing more detailed about their struggles, their personality and habits. Another thing is descriptions. They are like the glue to the story, you can use idioms for them to make it even more real. You can easily do this by writing about what their faces look like, the emotion in their eyes, what they smell and see. It allows the reader to paint a better picture. Like when Matto goes to the meadow, you can write about how the moonlight bounces off the lake and how he can smell the fragance of the flowers, maybe wolves howling in the distance, These are all little things but can easiliy give you 200-600 more words per chapter. For the rest the convo's sounds real, which can be a hard thing. your grammar is good too, for as far as I know. I'm not a native speaker, but I do not see any major mistakes.

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Great suspense

It's a great book and makes you want to read more. I don't really have any tips as al the tips I normally give are of no use with this book. The characters are great and you know how to build up suspense. The descriptions are amazing too. However, I would like to see more scenes between her and harren in the beginning of the chapters, it might make it a bit more interesting.

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Good book

The discriptions are lovely, however I miss character development and some excitement. The relationship between bella and mars are developing a hit too fast. I know they are mate, but even if they are mates, readers always love to read some drama. Your writing style is very easy to read and to follow. The only thing you need to concentrate on is the character development and some drama.

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Lovely book

I love the book. The descriptions are very nice and the first chapter makes you want to read more. Love it how there might be anither live jnterest, it really sets the tone

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great story

I love it how your story pulls me in, I can't stop reading. It's easy to follow and your writing style is nice too

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Good book

The storyline is very nice. Only thing is that the first couple chapters are very confusing. There is also a lot of mistakes in words and sometimes the sentences aren't written right, but overall the plot of the book is really nice.

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Just making my book known xD

I just wanted to get my book out. Right now I update it every day. The chapters are also pretty long, between 2,5k and 3k words. I hope you will read my book.

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