The Secret Babies.
The book has potential to become a good read, the let down is mainly the sentence structures, punctuation, spacing and lack of research.
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Character analysis isn’t very present nor is character description. The prologue is more like telling us what happened in bullet points, a prologue is usually a short snippet of the past or present and can be written in first or third person using minimal detail. Though it also depends how much detail the writer wishes to put in.
Also I’d like to point out that through the story wrote “Pick up the twins from preschool.” Also “The twins first day school.” Now in the book the twins only just turn 4 and in the UK infants don’t go to school till they’re actually 4 years old and in the UK we don’t have preschool, it’s nursery. Preschool is American not British.
I know you may think this is another bad review, but that’s not what I want for you to think. Think of it as a honest review, a review that you can build upon. I have your story 2.5/5 altogether because of all the errors. I know no story is perfect but it can be written to look at least its high potential, every story has high potential of becoming successful and a audience favourite.
Your story does have potential, but with a few tweaks here and there to help it reach its target. Now with the bad reviews you get on this story, rather than taking them to heart maybe you should use them as a ladder to success. What I mean is take them in to consideration and when you start to write your next story, look back on the reviews for this story and take in what areas you need to improve on.
The bad reviews are only there to give you a boost, they are there to help you improve and become better not to make you feel upset.
If you don’t have anyone to proof read, I suggest to try and find someone on Inkitt who will be willing to proof read for you.