Alicia D'Tourna

Reader, writer, and artist. I do give constructive criticism, if anyone would like to recommend their books or trade. Picsart: @aliciadtourna Poetizer: @AliciaDTourna

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You are just mine!

Short and straight to the point, this is a story about a psychotic obsession that owned my attention from the first paragraph. I found a few grammatical errors, but you barely notice it because the mind becomes so focused on the story itself. Overall, amazing! You have talent with your amazing style of writing and I hope you build on it and become even greater!

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SINISTER

The plot seems interesting, although I feel as though you throw at the readers all the basics of the character(s) to rush into the juicy part of the story. There could be a few chapters to extend the introduction of the character(s) to get more of a hook for the reader, but this is all just my opinion. Otherwise, I understand the concept you're going for and what's actually happening in each scene is clear thanks to the point of views of the characters, which helps immerse the reader into their shoes. It could use some work when it comes to pacing and wrapping up each plot point, but, again, this is just what I think personally. Overall, you did excellent work with a flexible storyline and the book has a lot of potential. Since, this is just the beginning, I know any points of weakness will be strengthened gradually over time.

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Mine

The details are excellent without going too overboard. The plot moves at a steady pace that makes you want to keep reading until the very end. The characters flow along with the plot, which helps get the reader "hooked". I love this so far and I hope to continue seeing more of your talent!

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Time for Love

An amazing read that I highly recommend! The plot flows and moves forward, it never stays in one spot for too long, but long enough so that you know where the setting is and enough to establish the intriguing dialogue of the characters. I really can't wait to see the further character development of the main character and storyline itself. This is an original story I very much enjoy as you have done such a brilliant job writing it!

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Salvino

The storyline is interesting, although I do wish that the chapters were a little longer. For example, chapters one and two could have been conjoined. Some words can be replaced with synonyms to keep the flow without making it seem as of there is any repetition, but this can be easily fixed. There are times where information of the characters are given throughout the story, but other times where it feels as if it's just put on front of the reader all of a sudden. This is only the beginning of the story, but I did enjoy it. The dialogue had gotten a bit confusing at some points where I couldn't tell which character was speaking because of the separation. For each character, the dialogue should be together if the same character is speaking; in the end, this is another factor that can easily be fixed. I can't wait to see what more happens in the future with these characters!

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Zoi

To be truthful, I thought this would be a typical poetry book with simple language, but this is perhaps one of the greatest works of poetry I have read by far. The imagery your writing conveys is gorgeous! I absolutely adore your writing style and appreciate the time you have taken to replace juvenile words with words of pure literacy that have more of an impact on the reader. The words you use give it a more precise and impactful tone. Not to mention, your writing makes the reader think, which I greatly approve of, as I feel help to develop comprehension skills and build vocabulary. You have great skill and your poetry is delightful. I thoroughly enjoy reading your work!

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Carpe Noctem

It was interesting and I liked the plot of it. However, it wasn't smooth and had a few jagged points, for example: the transitions of scenery. There were grammatical errors that I did find quite distracting and, back to the flow of the story, I felt the length of some scenes, not the descriptiveness, were mildly unnecessary, such as the strip club scene which was far lengthier that the introduction of the main male lead. Anyhow, I do see you have potential to become a great author since this is only your first book. I have no doubt you will smoothen out the plot and timing of transitions, not to mention, add some more description to the main story itself because I would love to see that.

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Black Hollow

There are no words to describe my captivation with the story from the first paragraph onward. It was like a magnet for me. I couldn't stop reading it! The characters are so interesting and diverse, their presences alone adds to the mystery and the cluelessness of the main character adds to it. I love that because it's told through the point of view of the main character, it's like you're in the same boat as them, slowly finding the answers to questions at they same time they do. Literally one of the greatest pieces of literature I've read and exactly my "cup of tea." I love your work and I know that this is only the beginning and you will no doubt blow me away the farther the story goes!

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Mythos

The story is whimsical with a heavy feeling to it when it has its serious tone. It keeps me wanting to read more with its fluid plot dynamic and identifiable characters. Just by reading it, you can sense the characters' emotions and tell who they are by their well-written dialogue. All in all, it's entrancing and I would love to read more!

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Petty Betty

It catches you on a hook almost instantly and doesn't let you go. The descriptions give you full immersion and understanding in a way so that it helps you understand how the character feels. The plot flows like water, bending without getting getting stuck at any corners. Amazing story!

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A Cure for Vampirism

The setting is lively, which aids the movement of characters from scene to scene, adding a bit of humor and realistic aspects at the right and needed times to make it more interesting. The story itself is original and flows. It's use of imagery is stunning and the writing always contains elements to hold the readers attention. I remember my pace slowing the more I read in order to savor the words. Overall, outstanding work! I hope to read more of your work in the future.

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Five Words

This certainly catches your attention from the first paragraph. The characters are defined and their relationships to one another are clear. Their interactions move the plot forward, which keeps the reader "hooked." I did find some grammatical errors, however, they do nothing to taint the feel of the story itself nor sway the reader's attention. Overall, it is lush with originality and I will be adding this to my binge-reading collection.

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