Alicia D'Tourna

Cloud 9

Reader, writer, and artist. Picsart: @aliciadtourna Poetizer: @AliciaDTourna

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You are just mine!

Short and straight to the point, this is a story about a psychotic obsession that owned my attention from the first paragraph. I found a few grammatical errors, but you barely notice it because the mind becomes so focused on the story itself. Overall, amazing! You have talent with your amazing style of writing and I hope you build on it and become even greater!

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Unspoken Love

This is one story that I will always remember with its characters and plot. The writing style really helps drag the reader into the intensity of the moment and makes you anxious to go to the next chapter. I can say that I'm glad I got here when there were so many chapters or else I wouldn't have gotten to binge-read it like I did.

I adore the use of telling the story through the perspectives of both Destiny and Damien, two completely different people with different worldviews. This adds a bit of spice by allowing the reader to experience the cold, gray, and washed-out blue world of Damien and the warm, bright, vibrant world of Destiny. The two had an amazing chemistry between them, one that I don't find forced or like it's there for the sake of the plot. It actually feels organic, the way they play off one another works extremely well.

However, there were some minor issues that I found here and there such as spelling errors, but they can be easily fixed and they rarely interrupt the flow of the story-telling. There were also punctuation errors that I would pay more attention to, but other that, your grammar and punctuation was great! My only real critique would be that I wished there were times where the setting could be explained a little more, like the beginning when Damien was going to meet his boss, I wanted to get more of a feel for the atmosphere, like what the décor was like. Even without that, though, I was still able to imagine it being a dark, foreboding place built with the blood of others.

This is a great book with representation for the mute community, gripping scenes, and a sprinkle of magic to tie it all together and raise the stakes! Well done!

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Clash of Tides

I went into this story literally thinking it would be like the original "Little Mermaid." A story of tragedy that includes hopeless romantics and dreams that never seem near, but are reached that the end. Instead, I was surprised by the dark undertones and situations that characters are put into that seem to go hand-in-hand with the time period they live in. "Clash of Tides" still holds that fantasy feel through its environment and characters such as the Mermen, while also showing intense emotion through the realistic nature of Elena's character and her past. The glimpses of the past not only help to better understand the world in which the characters live in, but also sets up the perfect conflicts that can motivate characters to tie together and move the plot forward.
There are times where some words are repeated and it's best to remain inconsistent with how many time they are. For example: Eye color(s). There are also spelling errors, but they're an easy fix.
The relatively dark nature of the story works well here, while there are many other stories that try to use the idea of being kidnapped mostly for romance plot purposes (Stockholm syndrome forms the basis of all functional relationships as all those writers know), here it's used as a way to get to know the character more. Is Elena level-headed? Does she give in easily to pressure? Will she just immediately throw herself on her captor the moment she lays eyes on him and call him "Daddy?" These are all questions that are answered when she is put through the situation of getting kidnapped. And, for the delicate topics such as rape that are mentioned in this book, I do think you handled them pretty well. By giving the characters more depth and not having Elena immediately just switch into codependent-brainwashed mode and using that to make the romance of the book, it makes it more believable, in a way. Elena crying, being fearful, and even attempting to escape instead of just agreeing to spread her legs is more logical. That's the part of the book that I enjoy most: the fact that these characters were made to tell a story and not just fulfill a person's smut fantasy (though there isn't anything wrong with that as long as you don't romanticize rape and everything else wrong in the world that is hurting a person). So, yes. That's probably the part that stands out most to me and, while the entire book is extremely addictive and great, that is what makes me want to keep reading . . . that and Seidon.
I'm being serious right now, and I'm sorry I have to ask this in the review, but where can I get a Seidon? I need one in my life.

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The Sorceress Queen and Her Mates

I'm adding this to my reading list and no one can stop me from doing so!

I love how distinct the characters are when switching their points of views and am extremely grateful for you labeling when you are switching those points of views. It makes the story extremely easy to follow. As of pacing, I like it a lot! It's not going too fast or too slow. However, there are a lot of punctuation errors and only a few spelling errors here and there, but nothing that can't be fixed or anything that disturbs the flow of the story. There were also many words that could have been replaced such as "stuff" when referring to a certain amount of items. Also, in the first chapter, try not to make mentions of a character's pigmentation too redundant. But other than that, the story is beautiful and I love Azure as the kind of person she has been constructed to be, and the same goes for Rayan. There can be some serious chemistry going on between these two and I urge you to continue along the path your carving for their relationship and I don't doubt there will be a lot of drama going on!

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SINISTER

The plot seems interesting, although I feel as though you throw at the readers all the basics of the character(s) to rush into the juicy part of the story. There could be a few chapters to extend the introduction of the character(s) to get more of a hook for the reader, but this is all just my opinion. Otherwise, I understand the concept you're going for and what's actually happening in each scene is clear thanks to the point of views of the characters, which helps immerse the reader into their shoes. It could use some work when it comes to pacing and wrapping up each plot point, but, again, this is just what I think personally. Overall, you did excellent work with a flexible storyline and the book has a lot of potential. Since, this is just the beginning, I know any points of weakness will be strengthened gradually over time.

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Mine

The details are excellent without going too overboard. The plot moves at a steady pace that makes you want to keep reading until the very end. The characters flow along with the plot, which helps get the reader "hooked". I love this so far and I hope to continue seeing more of your talent!

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Time for Love

An amazing read that I highly recommend! The plot flows and moves forward, it never stays in one spot for too long, but long enough so that you know where the setting is and enough to establish the intriguing dialogue of the characters. I really can't wait to see the further character development of the main character and storyline itself. This is an original story I very much enjoy as you have done such a brilliant job writing it!

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Algea and the Scarlet Demon

I really do like how you use ancient Egyptian mythology as inspiration for your story and how you use the elements of it to connect your characters' importance to the story. The possibilities as to where this could go are endless and it does hold the readers attention. However, the descriptions of the story tend to be a bit overwhelming and not at all subtle, which is needed to keep a reader hooked throughout the entire story and keeping them wanting to know more. Most of the over detailing can be removed just by giving an exact time period and a solid setting, that way you could spend more time on laying out the characters and plot in more of a slow burning fashion instead of jumping from scene to scene because the details take up so much of a chapter. Now, the doesn't mean that you shouldn't have detailing at all.
At points, the point of views would get mixed up and it was a bit jarring, but otherwise, it was fine though I do wish more of the characters' internal thoughts would be revealed while using first person point of view. Punctuation and spelling mistakes could be found here and there, but I wouldn't fret because it's an easy fix.
Overall, while I did enjoy certain aspects of the story itself, I couldn't find myself able to understand the characters. I understand if this was meant to be a story that was more of a creative outlet for a plot that's been circling your mind for hours, but I found it a bit rushed. Algea is a sort of demonic demigod and Seth is a human. There is a clear difference in power here, but Seth doesn't seem to react to that at all. Instead, he just becomes a sort of friend/companion for Algea, and Algea doesn't find it odd at all or is even annoyed by his presence. They just take an instant liking towards one another and there is no conflict between them. Personally, this removes a bit of the tension for me, but it might not be a problem for many others depending on what you intend for this book to be interpreted as.
Again, this book has great potential, but I feel as though there have been many missed opportunities that could have made it better.

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Flawless Façade

"Flawless Façade" is one book that carries the potential for quite the story. It's dark, brooding, and the sexual tension between characters such as Reece and Elizabeth can keep the reader interested. It's stories like this where it is imperative the author doesn't forget about the murder and the clues during the investigations that will eventually lead to the climax and drift off towards more of the romance side of things, so I really did like how, while not completely cutting out that sexual undertones of some dialogue between the characters, the main plot is mostly focused on the murder and the drama. Instead, any past romance is used as a way of tying together loose ends of the mystery.
Now, the grammar is something that I find quite distracting. As I've mentioned, the dialogue needs proper quotations, including flashbacks. You should only be using singular quotation marks when a character is quoting something. There are times as well when I would find a character would start their dialogue within the same paragraph of dialogue as another, and while that is a simple fix, it becomes quite confusing for the reader.
During the prologue and first chapters (mostly) there are times where descriptions will be used as roundabout ways of explaining a situations. Imagery, similes, and metaphors are lovely, but when it becomes too much, the reader loses focus as to what is really going on. For stories such as this, being more direct paired with the serious tone of the topic makes it easier for the reader to follow, especially since this is a story told through third person point of view. The way it is set up at times makes it seem more like it's being told through first person when it's not.
Now, I do like the characters, Reece especially. They are diverse with their own personalities and all add a bit to the plot. Now, I would point out Elizabeth is a character that I can't quite understand due to her having no relatability. Yes, she has lost someone dear to her as we all have, but being superb in both combat and intelligence makes her seem too out of place from the realism in which the rest of the characters display, almost otherworldly.
The shifts in time and setting are also a bit off for me. The story goes slow at some points, usually when characters are conversing, and then speeds up so fast that it's as if the characters have all teleported. The pace of the plot is inconsistent and I would recommend slowing it down in general without putting in too much detail where it isn't neccessary. It would make the chapters longer and what is going on more clear, so you would only need to use imagery to tell what is happening and less by means of comparison.
Other than this, the plot of the story is one I am in love with and I do hope you update soon. I don't want you to think my words are to say your book isn't good, it's quite the opposite, actually. I just want you to be able to make your book the best it can be, because, as a writer, you have a story to tell, and a brilliant one it is!

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The First Alpha's Son

I love the concept! So much can be done with it and it has so much potential with the characters that are a part of the story. However, the pacing is a bit too quick and makes it a bit confusing as to what is happening. If you drag it out at least a bit, the reader can get more of a feel for the characters and can better develop emotions towards them as well. For example, if a character is put through a tragic incident, the reader can sympathize or worry about the character.
There are a lot of speaking errors and I recommend Grammarly to help with that. Also, there isn't separation between dialogue just as there is between every other paragraph, making it a bit disorganized.
All in all, this book is great, but with a little less rushing through the plot and more complexity to the characters would make it even better. I do enjoy it and I can't wait to read where else you'll take this story!

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Exit Sign: A Theater of the Mind

This is one story that I find myself continuing to follow up until the end. Each and every character is unique and interesting, making the reader want to know more about them. The real-world situations they are put through and their train of thought are far from the average cliche stories that sugarcoat the reality of our life. The way the story was written also makes it clear as to what is happening throughout and I find the different ways chapters are written to be thoroughly enjoyable. For example, the way in which one chapter may focus more on the emotions of a character, such as Dave, to make them easier to understand, while others give more information as to what is happening in the world around them.

There are some confusing bits of dialogue, but it does nothing to ruin the fluidity of the plot. Honestly, this story is amazing and I absolutely love the way each chapter is titled with what day the story is taking place, creating a timeline without a diary entry sort of feel that isn't offered in many books.

Well done!

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Love from the Dark Web

I like the concept, turning something of what is usually a common horror genre into a romance is quite unseen. However, I do feel as though the information is literally being placed right in front of me, like I'm being spoonfed, which made it difficult for me to feel a mood for the story. A few grammatical errors, but I'd say that's it. Slow things down a little and don't try to rush through scenes to get to the juicy part; moreover, readers like a steady buildup to really reach that thrill or else the story will just be read read and then forgotten. Again, I like the concept, but try and slow it down, put more imagery into it and make the characters show more emotion that can be felt through the pages.

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Salvino

The storyline is interesting, although I do wish that the chapters were a little longer. For example, chapters one and two could have been conjoined. Some words can be replaced with synonyms to keep the flow without making it seem as of there is any repetition, but this can be easily fixed. There are times where information of the characters are given throughout the story, but other times where it feels as if it's just put on front of the reader all of a sudden. This is only the beginning of the story, but I did enjoy it. The dialogue had gotten a bit confusing at some points where I couldn't tell which character was speaking because of the separation. For each character, the dialogue should be together if the same character is speaking; in the end, this is another factor that can easily be fixed. I can't wait to see what more happens in the future with these characters!

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Carpe Noctem

It was interesting and I liked the plot of it. However, it wasn't smooth and had a few jagged points, for example: the transitions of scenery. There were grammatical errors that I did find quite distracting and, back to the flow of the story, I felt the length of some scenes, not the descriptiveness, were mildly unnecessary, such as the strip club scene which was far lengthier that the introduction of the main male lead. Anyhow, I do see you have potential to become a great author since this is only your first book. I have no doubt you will smoothen out the plot and timing of transitions, not to mention, add some more description to the main story itself because I would love to see that.

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Black Hollow

There are no words to describe my captivation with the story from the first paragraph onward. It was like a magnet for me. I couldn't stop reading it! The characters are so interesting and diverse, their presences alone adds to the mystery and the cluelessness of the main character adds to it. I love that because it's told through the point of view of the main character, it's like you're in the same boat as them, slowly finding the answers to questions at they same time they do. Literally one of the greatest pieces of literature I've read and exactly my "cup of tea." I love your work and I know that this is only the beginning and you will no doubt blow me away the farther the story goes!

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Mythos

The story is whimsical with a heavy feeling to it when it has its serious tone. It keeps me wanting to read more with its fluid plot dynamic and identifiable characters. Just by reading it, you can sense the characters' emotions and tell who they are by their well-written dialogue. All in all, it's entrancing and I would love to read more!

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A Cure for Vampirism

The setting is lively, which aids the movement of characters from scene to scene, adding a bit of humor and realistic aspects at the right and needed times to make it more interesting. The story itself is original and flows. It's use of imagery is stunning and the writing always contains elements to hold the readers attention. I remember my pace slowing the more I read in order to savor the words. Overall, outstanding work! I hope to read more of your work in the future.

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Five Words

This certainly catches your attention from the first paragraph. The characters are defined and their relationships to one another are clear. Their interactions move the plot forward, which keeps the reader "hooked." I did find some grammatical errors, however, they do nothing to taint the feel of the story itself nor sway the reader's attention. Overall, it is lush with originality and I will be adding this to my binge-reading collection.

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