Real good short story
Alright, big fan of sci-fi as well as superheroes (grew up with DC and Marvel comics in the 80's and was one of the few kids at my school reading those as they weren't trendy yet at that time) so when I started to read your story, it didn't take long to get me "onboarded". I really liked the fact you created a character that is a mix of Ming the Merciless from Flash Gordon and Thanos from Marvel Comics and yet managed to make it believable so good job here. You have a few lines that cracked me up (i.e: "He was so thick that two short planks would be charging him money to do his homework" or the "humerus uterus" part [don't want to spoil it for other readers] as well as other good puns.) Now for the more critic part, I really wish you had developed this more. A longer story would be great since the end of it is all too sudden and comes too fast in my opinion. Now about your descriptions, some of them are just spot on, some are way too deep and detailed. Might be my personal opinion but I do like to have some space for my own imagination to figure out untold details and consequently visualize the scene on my own with the help of the writer and not just been told by the writer how exactly it has to be. (Hope this makes sense but basically, too many details kill the scene for me). You have a few typos and some grammar issues and other mistakes here and there but all you need is a good proofread by an "English Major Bestie" (all author should have one :P ) and you'll be good to go. I seriously think you should work on making this a proper novel, you have the imagination, the inspiration and your own writing style that is quite funny and surprising so why not making this a "book" and not only a short story. Altogether, I liked it and defo recommend it if people are in for a quick read.
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