BlackBear53

Enfield Ct USA

I write NCIS, NCIS:LA and Airwolf.

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Determinate

Gina, you sure are in our boy's head. I would have written it just about the same way. You might want to go back and check some of your sentences. There were a few places where I might have combined two to make them more powerful. I loved it just the same.

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Where were you?

The angry voice in this story came out crystal clear. Tim is angry and he should be. He also needed to realize that they would have to get to the case as well, It was high priority. Gibb always thinks that his people understand what he feels for them. He doesn't let Tim know that enough. He should. When Kate died he wore his heart on the sleeve and grieved openly. When Ziva left he never said a word to anyone, especially to Tony. He needed that and Gibbs tiptoed around it like he hoped it would go away. Tim, is the one who is not hardened to the job and may never be. Gibbs needs to talk to him more.

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Maybe Someday

At first I was reticent to read this. I'm not really a slash reader but it is Nate and there is not too much written about him so I read it. While I'm a die hard Densi shipper I actually enjoyed the Mate connection. That's my term for this. Loved it and would read another about them.

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It's Halloween McGee

Loved the premise of this story. I have always felt that McGee is more special agent than they give him credit for. I want you to watch your there, their and they'res some are confused in the story. All of the gods and goddesses of old are interesting to see and hear about. Cousin Loki is a great concept. Totally enjoyed it and would read another like this.

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Maybe One Day

You truly believe that he is G's dad. You've written it before. You may be making me a believer. He has the look though. I love how you have written this and the feeling and emotions that you have put in play in it. If you are right it may be the only way that I get to like Owen.

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Callen's Shadow

I love the history of our boy. How he was "invited" into the organizations before NCIS. You forgot the FBI and the fact that Macy and Gibbs didn't talk about Callen before Legend. Having said that I actually like the way you wrote it better. Macy and Gibbs always seemed too forced. I always felt that the notebook was Hetty's work anyway. They explained it away with the German protector.

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The Heir

You may have made me a Naruto fan. I'm not sure that I understand all the Japanese terms but am willing to learn. I like how you've set this up and I want more of this. I hope that there will be more. I am going to follow this so bring it on. The writing on this leads me to want the young woman to prevail and that her boys father is still alive. There is definitely something there.

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The Filing Clerk

I have never read Naruto before but your descriptions kept me on keel with what I was reading. This was a cute little story about date abuse and you kept it so your readers didn't want to go screaming into the night. Just enough to give the protagonist reason to worry and to intercede. Nicely done. I would like to read more of these characters.

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Callen's Little Problem

There has always been that closeness that comes from more than boss and worker. It is a respect that can't be earned that way. Nicely done. Enjoyed it before and I am sure that I would enjoy it in any reincarnation you'd come up with.

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Only Human

Very nicely done. I am glad that his second family was able to accept him back into the fold. Hetty as the grandma...interesting choice. Two Callen's is also an interesting premise. Two sets of those beautiful blue eyes. You did a wonderful time keeping it suspenseful and at the same time keeping it on target.

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The man who wasn't there

I told you before I'm not a poem fan but this one got inside my defenses. I like the cadence of it. The rhythm lulls you into the peacefulness of the condition. You have all the florals keeping you busy and all the time you are talking about someone's death. Love how you did that. From you I am learning about the types of poetry. Thank you.

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Scarier Than A Monster

Max Gentry was already part of Young Marty's life at six years of age. How sad. This was well written and had the depth appropriate for a six year old to be telling the story. I know it was the teacher but in Marty's mind it was him reliving it. I didn't take him for a no Halloween guy.

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I Don't Want You Here!

You need to capitalize your title please. All along there was a thought that Deek's life was more awful than he lets on. You put it in place for all of your readers. It always makes me think that Sam and Callen and even Hetty need to be put in their places occasionally.

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Santa Who?

Onc criticism , he leaned on his desk not lent on his desk. I might have wanted to read this before I wrote my Christmas story. Maybe Sara will hear this story someday. I loved everything about it from his cranky attitude to the lone chair, to his anger. I am so glad that the team acknowledged his pain and made him part of their 'family". Gabriel eh?

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Sworn and Broken

You know that I like Nallen but prefer Sallen better. Loved the story. I like when G is a more content human being. Everything about this story felt canon to me even if its not. The plot flows and the conversations feel real not forced. Wonderful interactions with Hetty and the team. Loved the bet on which "thing" would happen first. I am loving these one shots of yours..

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What Doesn't Kill You

I will definitely listen to that song with different intentions from now on. I was excited at first thinking it would get him closer but alas no, not really. It is a well written introspect on our surly but handsome team leader. Well done my friend.
I enjoyed the way Sam looked out for him but didn't get too close and G seems to appreciate that stance. It is a feature of Sam that has intrigued me for the last five years.

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Not a Victim

This was well written from Callen's viewpoint. This story speaks to the strength of the man but it also speaks to the wounded spirit that still lives in the mind of G Callen. Your use of setting helped with the feel of the story. Nicely done.

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Take it Back

I can't tell you how many times I've though "aren't they so much alike." Thank you for writing this. I like the way you introduced the plot line with the undercover job and then the idea of what kind of bastard Admiral McGee really was. You kept me on pins and needles all the way through.

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Who Am I?

I like the way you wrote this. It is totally his perspective in his own brain. I can see him sitting on the bench where he met Jethro, watching the sun go down and thinking. You are right though, he does tend to think about his life too much. He should be out hanging with friends, buying furniture.

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