Chris Power

New York

I read everything coming my way!

No published stories yet

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

A Chilling Future

Oh my, that was one great read! The reveal that the Professor was in fact renowned scientist, Newton, was very well done because it took me completely by surprise. The destruction of religion due to the progress of science in the 28th century was a little perturbing. Surely, with the progress of human thought, the need for spirituality would only become greater? The details about Newton's preservation and holographic form was disorienting. It created the desired effect of being unhinged from reality. The fact that the two researchers had to argue with an Ethics Committee was reassuring in that science hadn't been given a totally free hand. The memories fed into Newton's brain were beautiful and truly representative of human culture and history. I didn't know that his laws of motion had been challenged, I found them particularly dreadful back in high school. The horror of the Sun's destruction was bone-chilling, but what struck me more was how in the end, technology could not trump human thinking. Newton's "collection of neurons" was the best shot they had to save the planet. The story took a turn for the better towards the end with the mention of Joel Braham. One, humans did not adjust well to immortality, augmenting my belief that death is a necessary part of the cycle of human consciousness. Two, the Biblical character lived for the same time as Braham, again alluding to the authenticity of religious texts. The author was very clever with this little nugget, leaving us to wonder about the eternal debate - science or religion? The humour was tongue-in-cheek, particularly the dig on unfortunate Einstein.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Merreth the Barbarian

A very spicy story, rife with the scandalous dealings of a noblewoman, made more juicy when juxtaposed against the young priest's innocence and naivety. The description was excellently done. I was instantly transported to Merreth's war with the clans, and it was not a pretty sight. Merreth struck me as a woman of strength and courage, but also as someone who had lost her way. As she says at the end, she has come to enjoy her killing and this is certainly inexcusable. Merreth represents the typical rebellious rich young girl, but with a darker twist. The initial conversation was intellectually challenging to decipher, particularly the shift from "fox and rabbit" to "wolf and rabbit". When Merreth opened up about her adventures and exploits, it was accompanied with the relief one gets when he understands the story. Despite the complexity of the tale, it was very accessible to me, which is something many writers fail at. The young priest seems to be just as innocent as he seems on first impression, with his whole life devoted to the service of the Goddess. Merreth takes a liking to him because of his uncorrupted nature, which is perhaps surprising given that he works in a temple. Merreth's insinuations make it amply clear that the fictional temple is just as plagued with controversy and deceit as those in real life. For the young boy to have escaped that was heart-warming, not only for me, but for Merreth as well. The arrival of Priestess Wrenn signals the end of the comfortable interlude Merreth had. The technical skills were flawless. Good job!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

I'm not crying, just got something in my eye

Okay, I am crying. It was such a beautiful story, told from such a pure heart and whimsical pen.The story seemed in the beginning to be about a girl struggling with depression. It was glaringly obvious that Tony was not real, and the father's outburst reminded me of how often fathers are more of a problem when dealing with mental illness in their children. The realization that Tony's world was real in its own way as a very sweet one. It alluded to how things which are not real, like a fictional realm, are more important, more heart-warming than things which solidly occupy matter and space. Chelsea's betrayal was a little nonsensical and abrupt, as if she were just realizing everything along with the unwitting Jessica. Jessica's moral dilemma in the following chapters was beautifully relayed to us, even though the gazillion rules about travelling from one world to the other were not amply clear. It was a truly remarkable concept to have Jessica exchange lives with her grandfather. The last chapter had me crying like a baby. First, the parents finally realize Jessica's truth. Jessica's devotion to her parents was the main thing which prevented her from staying with Tony in the other world. Then, Chelsea being accepted into Jessica's family was beautiful because it showed the value of forgiveness. What was Chelsea but a 14 year old girl when she took away Jessica's right to live? Chelsea transitioning into a total gossip girl later on made me smile, it was like a breeze of normalcy and happiness in the face of everything Jessica had been through. The icing on the cake was the perfectly timed return of Tony, who was perfect in every way, except for his name. The way that Tony and Jessica's union facilitated that of the grandparents was very well conceived. The ending was beautiful, with both Tony and Jessica having forgiven Chelsea, and Jessica finally finding the happiness she lost when she was 8 and her dog died. Jessica represented to me myself, and I was so touched by her strength and grace. It was a wonderful story and I would love to read more of you work. Thank you for existing in this cruel world, you give me hope in our future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Abysmal

I was very disappointed by the story. It professed so much with its fancy title and delivered on so little of that promise. The story lacked purpose, and all in all was a bland recount of how a perfect little girl suddenly morphed into an elf, but it was all cool because her mysterious date-turned-boyfriend said she was pretty in whatever form. There was zero subtlety and nuance. The dialogue was overly simple, the descriptions absurdly idiotic. It felt like the trash a fourth grade teacher may expect from her writing class. And mind you, Sarah was in the tenth grade, and so had to be around 15. But her behaviour and thinking was more akin to that of a slow 5 year old. The grammar and punctuation were terrible. There were many spelling errors, and it only added to the feeling of irritation with the story. I fail to see how this was allowed to be published here on Inkitt. That being said, everyone has a room for improvement and growth. You are a dedicated young writer and I appreciate your passion. You will go a long way, just keep on working hard. Brush up on your skills by reading some good literature books. I recommend that you start with the works of Mitch Albom. Do employ a basic spell and grammar check before posting your work on such a prestigious forum. Good day!

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.