Christina Applejack

NYC

Writer & Betareader

No published stories yet

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Anatomists become Murderers!

My oh my, what a tale! I was left gasping for breath by the end of it. The story was long and full of surprising twists and turns. Fettes immediately piqued my attention with his vices and unruly manner. His altercation with Macfarlane suggested that there was something big which had happened between them. The recounting of the dissecting-room activities was all too familiar for me, given that I am a medical student. I have also often wondered at the mental health of the people who maintain the dissecting-room and supply us with fresh bodies for studying. This story has left me chilled, and I will never look at dissection the same way again. Fettes and Macfarlane were both very strong and jocular students, who paired up to do the unholy task of provision of bodies. The horror of discovering Jane's body was amplified by the helplessness of Fettes. A promising student had been reduced to such a sorry state, and these emotions were later voiced by Fettes with great eloquence. The irony behind the use of the name "Gray" was not lost on me, and the singular terror of learning that Macfarlane had murdered Gray was the climax of the story. It was never stated, but so much had happened that I was able to deduce that the corpse was no one else but Gray. The escape from the graveyard was vividly described, and the terror of finding Gray instead of the woman made me scream. The style was wonderful and old, it left me craving for more classical reading. The vocabulary and expressionism was astounding. It was a beautiful story, and very deep.

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Frighteningly Accurate

This was a wonderful take on mental illness, something which we all can relate to. I loved the clarity of his thoughts and the way he fought to regain control of his mind. There is nothing braver than fighting with your own mind all the time, and yet this man, like many others in the world, do so everyday. This was a very accurate and detailed representation of the life of such people. The psychiatrist being painted as the villain made me understand for the first time, why some people with mental illness are unwilling to seek help. The woman's desire to help has been transformed into the worst kind of evil. I was left befuddled by the end, the rapid back and forth between memories was a little too much. That was the only part I did not like - I was confused rather than getting a feeling of the urgency and horror of the man's own confusion. Everything else was very well done, and the story resonated with me in a way few do. The grammar and punctuation was immaculate. I want to read more of this strange story!

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Good Effort

The story was compelling and it had a lot of energy. I felt throughout that the narrator was female, but there was no clear indication anywhere. The sensitivity and intelligence of thoughts suggested a feminine narrator, though. The horror of the animal on the stump was very real and I felt really scared as I breathlessly rushed through the narration of the pursuit. The creature's association with Alex was downright disgusting. I was left nauseated by the animal's description of how it sucked young Alex's pee in bed. The creature's desire for Alex was not very well described, I'm afraid. The process of eating the leg was gruesome, but much more accessible to the readers. I was able to feel Alex's pain as my own. There was a lot of confusion left for us in the end. Alex sums it up too: The cottage, Mother, and the creature's voice sounding like her mother's. What does it all mean? Perhaps the next chapters will shed some light on this. The ending was very beautiful, containing the best thought of the narrative. The connection of the stump in the forest to Alex's stump of a leg wasn't immediately apparent to me, which speaks of its subtlety. The creature's horrific presence and the importance of its teeth were alluded to as well. The grammar and punctuation was satisfactory. I would love to read more of this story.

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I screamed!

A wonderful story, blending the horror of childhood imagination with that of old age dementia. The old man's recount was chilling, and it was rather believable. His devotion to Helen represented the attachment we all have to childhood fables, especially those personal to us. The darkness of the refrigerator was terrifying - but part of it was ruined by the fact that we knew that the boy would be all right in the end. The grammar and punctuation was remarkable. There was a very clear division in tone and structure. The first part of the story, in which the store keeper decides to follow the old man, was vividly expressed. However, the old man's recount was lacking in style. Some sentences were very well done such as "Dark paranoia raised its head" and "I couldn't read it in his rheumy eyes". But such eloquence did not carry on when the old man began talking. His tale was grabbing in regard to content, but lacking in terms of structure. On the whole, I thoroughly enjoyed the story. The ending literally made me scream a little. Just as the store guy puts off the old man's tale as conjecture, the refrigerator doors open and the evidence of Helen's existence within are laid out, clear as day for all of us to scream at. Truly thrilling, straydog1980. You must write more stories - I shall wait!

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Beauty Re-Defined

This story was beautiful in every way. The care with which the narrator is described, the slow transformation into nothingness and the powerful nature of her character left me with deep-rooted appreciation for the story. There was so much importance given even to the minor characters, such as Abbie, whose resourcefulness and tact shines through even in the little part she plays. Matt represented to me every woman's disgruntled lover, estranged by the chains of time and routine. His lack of concern for the narrator's plight was unsurprising, and I knew he would leave her before he did so. There was a lot of wry humour injected into the story. "Perhaps I am turning to a plant" was perhaps the finest example of this. The sadness behind her earrings not being noticed by anyone was jarring. There was a lot of beauty and subtlety with which every aspect of her life was explored, and my favourite part was the recount of all her piercings. They represented each stage of her growing up, and ended up with essentially the most important thing - Abbie who was a lawyer, hot and kind, represented the quintessential woman. This was in stark contrast to the narrator who found herself vanishing. The parting thought was amazing, and left me in awe. Great job!

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Rich Diversity

Wow, that was just amazing. I loved every aspect of the story. It was a wonderful amalgamation of so many things - from Buddha's spirituality to Hercules' renowned arrogance to Elvis' whimsical music. The story was enjoyable and moved along wonderfully, without lingering over any part of the conference too much. I loved the argument between Hercules and the others during Buddha's speech, but what made me laugh out hardest was Elvis speaking to the Weyweydoun people as their god. The references to pop culture were on-point, amusing and sparingly used. William Sheakspeare's dialogue was to die for! And of course, the slur on Uranus had me bent over double with laughter. There was something for everyone in there. Even though I'm not really big on mythology, I had no trouble accessing the tone of the banter between the gods. The mention of religion lent a solemn tone, and kept the story from tilting away into full-on craziness.
A very light and fun story, which can brighten up any one's day. The grammar and punctuation was impeccable. There was really no part of the story which I did not like. I feel like a canary singing praise here, but it was just that good. I would love to read more of your stories! Please write more stories here on Inkitt, you are a truly amazing addition to our community.

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Poorly Written

I was expecting a lot from this flash fiction but ended up being sorely disappointed. It lacked energy, and had an almost soporific effect on me. The enigma of Zhu wasn't much of an enigma - he wasn't beautiful, and he wasn't witty. The space ride was poorly described, and I was left feeling completely not concerned with the narrator's emotions. The grammar and punctuation was plain awful, I have given zero stars. Please, this story should be extensively reviewed.

There were certain redeeming aspects. The pace was good, and the short sentences and use of commas helped to give the right "feel" of it being a flash fiction. There was a lot of potential in the whole idea of being transported into another world when sleeping. It built on the idea we all cherish, one of controlling our lives. As Albus Dumbledore said "In dreams, we enter a world that is only our own". I also appreciated the dimension thrown in at the end, of where Zhu would go when sleeping. Perhaps his sleep leads him to the narrator? It was a good way to make a cyclic return to the core of the story - Zhu.

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Sweet and Charming

A very entertaining story, told exquisitely by use of whimsicality and subtlety. It soon became very apparent that the Norris was a very practical man - and the revelation that he was a puzzle maker was unsurprising. Norris seemed to resemble the modern man in every way, preferring to think of himself as having deep thoughts whilst really being cut off from spirituality. His inability to cope with the magnificence of talking fruits and vegetables eventually led to his demise, which was very fitting. I loved the character imparted to all the foods! The savvy peach with its financial know-how, the meek olives frying away in their own oil, the clumsy apples talking with ennui, the carrots with their love for edgy music. It was all very well done, and startlingly accurate. The concept behind the story, though, was perhaps not very clear. It seemed to be a satirical account of vegetarianism at first, but now I wonder if it was something deeper. The personification of plants suggests that perhaps the author wishes to tell us that plants should be given some "rights" as well. The ending was funny as well, and I will definitely go consult a peach about my financial situation!

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