Needs More style
Hey Brittani, I really liked the beginning of your story with Destiny, and all the mysteries riddled behind her at the start. Though, unfortunately, I found the amount of characters introduced at once to be too much for me to handle, and somewhat overwhelming. For example, I met the two men, she got close to them, and all of a sudden she was in a court room after someone died. It was very fast like that sentence.
Read the story now
I think as a writer - advice I have gotten about my own writing before - you need to give the reader time between new characters and events. Some things I've seen in others writing is omitting a characters name if they are unimportant, having a crowd talk, or completely avoiding identifying said person. Regardless, it is still very interesting, and I hope you keep working on it.
Also, for something to try, add more nouns. I once heard Walt Whitman described them as the most important parts of a sentence. Moreover, work on commas and when to end a sentence. And I hope you found this review helpful. Keep working on it!