Needs Work but Action Packed.
Hey, first off I liked the action at the beginning. Something about it really showed what was happening. Herah and Rose's battle in particular, out of the two chapters, really seemed to hit the nail on the head. At first I really couldn't tell what was happening, because of lack of description, but then by chapter two I think you said too much. It might be better to slowly add the background to the story; It makes it easier to read, and sometimes it can be like finding cookies. If you give me too much at once, I won't want to eat anymore.
Read the story now
Your grammar also needs a ton of work:
There are comma splices here and there throughout. Remember two independent clauses must be joined by a conjunction. (e.g. The man went to the zoo, she was there(comma splice - pretty much means the comma is used instead of a period separating two complete ideas.) needs to be so: The man went to the zoo, and she was there) A independent clause has both a subject and a verb.
The dialogue needs to be broken up.
New paragraph for a new character's lines. (You did this on the second page with the dad)
Some work on run on sentences.
Also, for the writing style piece it might be good to give your reader a chance to breathe. Some of your paragraphs are so long I literally couldn't see the end of it as I was reading it. At some parts this didn't bother me, but my eyes eventually tired out by Chapter 2. If this was printed it might be different, but this is read on a computer.
I hope this review helps, and it wasn't too much of a bummer. I enjoyed the read, and the powers of the characters were awesome. Hope you keep writing it.