Short and Sweet
... Although it could've been sweeter, though not by much. First of all: what I didn't like was bringing in the town of 'Obscurity'. While chucklesome, I think everything outside Dim and Gloom should've been left vague so as not to detract any focus. Because of this, the beginning was a bit weak, there should've been either more focus on the two towns by themselves or less on the outside.
Aside from that, it was beautiful and made me smile. A writer who can write stunningly without dialogue is definitely a good one, whereas a writer who relies on dialogue isn't. This was definitely a charming show of description, while just enough was held back to give that fairytale feeling. My favourite part was the tower of people to the sky. It was the only part I didn't see coming, and it made me laugh - it reminded me of a castell from Catalonia. It was very uplifting, a very sweet message. If I had a kid, I'd definitely read this to them before bed! This deserves the votes it's getting, an absolute delight.
Creepy - I Like it
Who are They? I'd really like to know - I feel that this withheld slightly too much information. Not that I'd want the mystery fully revealed, just a little bit more info about Them, maybe from an overheard conversation. I also felt the point of the missing brother should've been expanded, there should've been more details, but it does show well the emotional dissonance of someone growing up thinking this sort of thing is normal. Aside from that, I do love the details of perspective in this, the childish curiosity was perfect. I feel that at times there were breaks where the age of the narrator was forsaken for style, but these breaks weren't too jarring though still present. I did enjoy this, mind. A good read.Read the story now
A great story told in a very short space through an interesting narrative. I'm loving that personification! This story played with expectation from the get go. It's like looking through a blurry lens reading this, but it's intriguing. I think this works very well as a short story, and I'm thankful for that because it wouldn't work any longer or shorter than it is. The writer struck the perfect balance with this. Overall, definitely chilling. 'I love her enough to grant that solace' really spoke volumes.
((Edit: this deserves more likes than it's getting! Only 2 as I write this...))