Gabriel Penn

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Excellent Concept!

I have yet to read a story quite like the one you've done here. Fantastic! It put a whole new light to the race of centaurs. The plot points were excellent and the twists were unexpected and fantastic.
The only complaint I might have is that the characters are a bit wordy and formal at times. It would work for some characters, like the queen, but for an eleven year old girl? I'm not so sure. And there were a few times that there was a lot of information dumped on the reader at once. But you made up for it by a well-executed story! Congrats on that!

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Fun Read

I was pleasantly surprised as to how well done this was! The pacing was good and the story was very intriguing. I had a feeling the story's plot twist was going to happen, but not due to any lack of talent on your part. Congratulations on a cool and original take on dragons!

There were a few faults with the grammar, including the use of "&" in a published work (not a good idea in my opinion) and using periods where commas ought to be. Nevertheless, you are an excellent storyteller and I hope to see more of your stuff soon!

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