Gryphonstar

Pacing issue

First off, I'm already intrigue by summary though I wish it was worded a bit better. The first paragraphs have a few minor problems particular with words missing. Not to mention the massive info dump on the character's backstory that. A lot of this could be spread out better among multiple chapters allowing the reader to take it in better.

I was a bit surprised to see each chapter so short. There nothing wrong at all with having short chapters especially in the format you have in later chapters, But the first chapter is so much more jarring compared to the others. I did enjoy what I read though. I would like to read more when more does come out,

What it really boils down to is a pacing issue. You are giving us way too much upfront and with that there little to nothing to keep us tied to our seats. A thriller needs mystery, we don't need to know everything right way. I'm not saying give us nothing, but rather give us just enough at a time to make us want more.