Hadiqa Imran

Great writing style!

Woah! What an interesting story! The writing style is so good that you should get an award for that. It’s an amazing plot for any sci-fi fan. And it deserves more reads. It’s the best sci-fi story, I have read so far. Good work!

It’s written in the best way it can be

This was really captured in a disturbed, chilling manner and I read the whole story sitting at the edge 😨. I was feeling like I am also present there. You have written it the best way you could 👍🏻. I really enjoyed it -👌🏻

Love it

I love the plot and, I love how you wrote the character.s You could work on the structure-flow a little otherwise, it's great. Liked it so much. You did a nice job 👍

Nice work

The story has a great start. It makes the reader read more and more. My advice to the author is to slow down the events. The story is already so great, but it could have been better if the next scene after the original first scene could have been an older girl having a childhood flashback about the mysterious man on the day of her parents' funeral. That way, it would not feel like time is passing too soon. And the reader could spend the whole funeral with the main character. That way, they could find how does she think, what kind of personality she has, who she is basically. This way, a connection could have been developed between the character and the reader. Every author has a different writing style, and your writing style is great. My other advice is to put ellipsis once a scene is finished, so it does not get confusing that a new scene has started. Otherwise, this story is excellent and has a good future.

Good work!

I advise working on characters bonding. Otherwise, it's great. Love it!

Great!

Great poem! Love it

Good work!

Okay, so I want to start with the plot. It’s really interesting and unique. I really liked it. And it’s great.
Now about the protagonist, that’s one complex character. And writing such characters isn’t easy so kudos to you. But you shouldn’t have made her fall in love with him that fast. It was a little bothering.
Now about your writing style, it’s nice. It’s easy to follow. You don’t have to work a lot on it.
If we talk about grammar mistakes, there were some here and there. And it’s not a problem. I am sure that you can easily edit them.
Good job! Keep it up 👍🏻
Regards!

Midnight blue

What an amazing story! It’s not a cliche, it’s something new and different. If you are fan of erotic then this IS for you. The detailed scenes make you think that you are there too. It’s just great!

Amazing story!

It’s an amazing story. I love the chemistry and the plot is really nice.
But there are few problems with your writing style that you should work on and I am pretty sure that you can. At the end of the dialogue, you should mention the person’s name who said the dialogue. “You should read this book”, Mathew says like this. Also in the first couple of chapters, the dialogues aren’t in quotations which confused me a little. Another thing is that when you finish a scene, don’t move directly to the next scene. Instead, put “_____” or “***” when you want to move from one scene to another. There are also some grammatical errors and spelling mistakes here and there which is not a big problem and you can easily edit them.
Otherwise everything is great. The main thing in a story is that the plot should be good and yours is so keep it up 👍🏻

Good plot!

The plot is great. The characters’ backgrounds are interesting. And their cuteness with each other attracts me towards them. But there are some small problems which I am sure you can work on in future. One of the problems is that the story is moving too fast and you are not giving them enough time to work on their chemistry so try to work on that. There are also some grammar problems here and there but that’s really not a big issue as English isn’t your first language. And for someone whose first language isn’t English, this is good. Another thing that I have noticed is that your writing style improves with every chapter and that’s a great thing. You have a lot of potential and you can do so more. Good luck!

Great story!

It’s a great story till now. Can’t wait to read more. The character of Dagon is amazing. And your writing style is so descriptive and good and I was so focused in the story that I didn’t know about my surroundings. Great work!

Great!

The story is so great! I don’t know that why you don’t have more readers. You have a lot of potential in you. Your writing skill is so damn good! I’ll suggest people your story when they ask suggestions about this genre. Best wishes to you for this and your future projects
Regards!

Five words

I love you because you wrote such a master piece but I hate you for the ending you gave us
Apart from joke, this was GREAT
It was one of the most emotional stories I have read, I could feel the characters’ feelings myself.
Don’t have enough words to explain how good this was.
It can become a bestseller in a matter of days
Not only the plot was good but you writing style’s great too
But......
You wrote too much french language and didn’t give any translation. Many of us can’t understand French and it’s really difficult to google it so please whenever you use any other language in your story, translate it too because I felt really bad skipping some dialogues
Wish you luck for your future projects