Drew C. Elyon

Nice to meet you.

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Wow.

I've only read one chapter so far, but from what I've seen, this is steampunk at its best. The narrative flows so beautifully I could envision every scene in an almost cinematic fashion. I believe in the complexity of simplicity, and this story has that in its descriptions.

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Splendid.

The pace at which the story advances is decent, though a tad too fast. Nevertheless, it could be a device you are using. Start as you need to go, right? Iron out a few kinks in the tense and narrator and you're good.

I love the idea of 4 regions, 4 kings. It reminds me of the four generals of Alexander the great. It's a recipe for war and head-smashing action. Brilliant.

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Ooh!

The dark vein is kept all throughout the chapter. To be honest, I'd thought it would be one of those cliché things people get away with but it isn't. Sad there wasn't a second chapter at the time I was reading.

This be an excellent read. There is no fan of dark fantasy, Gothic or paranormal fiction that wouldn't find this captivating in the very least.

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Riveting.

So the question is: Do I have the words that would do justice to this story? No. I'm going to have to break things down into little pieces.

The pacing is fantastic. I literally read the whole story in one go, barely taking any breaks. There was a heavy touch of class in its simplicity (I'm not exaggerating, here. Like I said, "justice"). One mistake many writers I have read make is having their young characters sound a lot like adults which destroys the essence of having child characters in the first place. It was refreshing to have Em retain her little-girl innocence despite withdrawing deeper and deeper within herself. A wonderful job was also done in portraying the very horror she was going through; so much I felt like jumping into the story and stabbing that guy. You described stuff, without overly grossing it out. Thumbs up.

Final note: The villain. He definitely wasn't likable, but he was compelling. I gave everything a five-star in my ratings. If there were six, I would have gone further. This is one story that should be pinned on a homepage.

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Genius

You played with the subject of sex without overly grossing it out like most writers do. Full marks for that.

This be a fantastic light-hearted read. I've not (yet) gone beyond the first chapter, but I will be. The plot sounds like something that would grip me by the back of my neck,

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