Hoskins

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The clue's in the name (keep writing)

Didn't like the intro at all - sounded like blurb on a book's back rather than story. Story itself was, for me, pretty choppy and the writing seemed liked that of someone who has been going a while, but still has a lot to learn. Difficult to read in places, though with some nice touches. As a reader, I had some confusion in understanding where the story was going due to the visions/reality - whether this was intentional or not, I'm not sure, so, as ever, would like to see what other reviewers make of it. Couldn't make it to the end of the piece, but rest assured I did try.

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Let down by the narration being too much in voice

I think the author deserves kudos for accurately portraying a young narrator - however, this is also, for me, the downfall of this piece. In telling the story in the voice of the kid, and doing a good job of it, it makes the story very unfriendly (I don't want to say unreadable, but it's close to that). So, unfortunately, it's writing good, but readability bad. Having said that, it's always possible that I've not got into the flow of the writing, so I'll be interested to hear what other people make of it.

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Best work I've read on here

This piece is an intelligent, sustained piece of writing. Sure, Palahniuk and Copeland are stamped all over it and it's a pretty long read, but who cares? There are sections of this that stand up to pro stuff and a depth that many of the stories with more recommendations here are lacking. In places, there was a little confusion, but I put that down to reading online (maybe some more paragraph breaks would help) and the odd typo, but from the excellent prologuey 'Trainspotting-esque' riff which turned out to be so central to the story and not author wank (though there was a bit of that in there too - you know what I'm talking about author!) - it was not only solid, but quality stuff, too. It is also the first story I have recommended. It stands head and shoulders above everything I have read thus far on here and I urge you to take a half hour out of you life and read it, too. Bloody good stuff.

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A strange mixture of readable and, er, not readable

Difficult to review this one. On the one hand, there was a lot to like here with plot and story and writing, but on the other it was a tough read. What I mean by this is it flowed, but sometimes was difficult to follow. I hope others will give a review so I can see if it is me or the writing at fault. That said, lots to like here.

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Sweet (as in cute, rather than cool)

This was an interesting read, I felt it was writing in the style of a book for children and, even with the dark subject matter, it never really got the horror in my going because of that. I felt the most important paragraph in the piece (which reveals where they are) was a bit loose and could've done with some tightening, but apart from that, the writing, for me, was mostly good. A cute little tale.

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Only puts a foot wrong a couple of times

I thought this was good with some really great lines - however, I there were a couple of things at the beginning which spoiled it slightly for me. I felt, "Bear with me, reader; I will not waste your time with endless foreplay" was filler left in because the author liked the sound of it. The narrator then says: "Here is my story", but in the next paragraph we have "One such contact is the subject of this story." - there was, for me, a contradiction here which pulled me out of the story right at it's start. Apart from than, a good tale.

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Enjoyable piece of flash fiction

Nice tone to this piece that, by making the tone conversational, grounds the piece in realism which adds to the horror. I also thought using the stalker as the narrator, but not the main source of horror, a clever conceit. For me, this was a good little read.

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