Jacky_Pringle_Velasquez

My dream is to be traditionally published one day. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and BPD. Writing is my escape. Love conquers all. I post 2-4 chapters every Friday!

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The Beginning Of A Contemporary Novel

The voice that this author has for both characters, Vincent and Margaret, is admirable. The writing style fits the characters as they narrate the story forward. I was first really caught by the voice when I started reading it. With that, the characters are well developed and mature. This is definitely a more mature story on this site, not necessarily for overly explicit content, but it just has a real adult feel to it including adult themes.

The humor is dry and sarcastic. I can understand why some starving artists can relate to it especially with how Vincent bitterly describes well received boy bands in a funny way.

The author clearly has a passion for writing and takes the art seriously. The story is very well written, and the attention to detail is commendable.

Although this is not the genre I typically reach for, I cannot deny how good it is. For that, it has my respect. A lot of thought and hard work went into it, and it is noticeable. Beautiful piece of art. I hope you continue to work on it along with any other writing endeavors you strive for in the future. Also, the audiobook is great!

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Joseph and Fate

The story is cute. This is definitely for readers who are into "feel-good" romances that are comparable to Halmark movies. Although where the story has left off is a little disheartening, based on the feelings Jospeh and Fate had, I have a feeling they will meet again. I think the author may be new to writing because of the repetition along with the minor grammatical and punctuation errors. However it's not too distracting and is easily fixed once the author revisits the story. Overall, the work is very sweet. I hope she continues to write and update.

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Intriguing Romance

I love how this book is more character led, and there are hints of a growing romance and building drama. The title really matches the content since the characters have feelings for each other they don't understand because of certain circumstances that I don't want to spoil. As a result, there is a build of tension, which I think is important in writing, and it's refreshing to see chapters that are longer. Keep up the good work!

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Endearing

This is such a sweet romance. Although I usually gravitate towards more dark and mature romances, this one pulled at my heartstrings. I enjoyed that it was in a duel perspective, and it was so cute with how the characters misinterpreted their feelings for each other, which brought that same feeling when you have a crush on someone but don't know if they will reciprocate the feelings. The writing over all was good. The author will need to proofread in the future to fix some grammatical errors along with quite a few punctuation errors such as missing periods and missing commas. Otherwise, it was a really good read.

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A Heartbreaking And Heartfelt Story

I love the concept of this story, and I look forward to see where it goes. It is a sad concept, but it sheds light on the significant things in life and all the things people take for granted, and I think that is a very important lesson to learn. Over all, the writing is really good, but I think it is a rough draft because of the missing punctuation, but once it's proofread, it will be golden.

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A great story that just needs editing, and it will be golden.

I really like the plot of this story, and I think it is really unique. I love the cultural details that are explained because it is fascinating, and I was able to learn about something I didn't know such as the ceremony before a cremation or even the certain foods and beverages. The idea of the dog being a protector of its owner is wonderful. I would love to have something beside me that could check a person if they do me wrong, haha! The story is good, but the grammar and the punctuation errors made it difficult to read, and I had to reread sentence over and over again just for it to make sense, and as a result, what should be a fast paced novel became very slow. I think there's too much "telling", which is fine, I think it's okay to do that as long as it is balanced with "showing", whichbthis book needs. I think this book will greatly benefit with some professional editing. Otherwise, it is a good and unique story.

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Who Is The Killer?

This work is a murder mystery through the perspective of loved ones. The use of memories are a great emotional addition for the reader to empathize with the protagonist along with giving clues for the reader to follow. Grammar and punctuation is a little off, and the author shifts from past and present tense, making it a little difficult to read at times. Other than those rookie mistakes, I think the author has a lot of potential especially when it comes to plot. I can tell she has some sort of plan, and plans are definitely needed when writing mysteries. Keep writing and updating.

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Heritage

This is an intriguing fantasy. The story has good pacing, and it's a fresh idea in regards to shapeshifting and magic. The characters are great, and I feel like I can empathize with the protagonist. The story has just begun, so I'm interested to know what happens next; I really look forward to the rising action of the book considering that the protagonist is going to help the shapeshifters with human information. I have a feeling there might be some clash with the magical realm and the human one. Some minor punctuation errors popped up through the writing, but they are easy to fix once it's proofread. Otherwise it's a good story! Update soon!

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So Clever

What a brilliant idea. I love Vampires, but I never gave much thought of what a Vampire baby would be like, and this author did an amazing job with wrestling with that idea. Dare I say, that baby may be creepy to others, but I think he's cute as hell. Also, the writing is very well done. Chris's character is already so well developed, and the dream in chapter two was SO WELL DONE! There were run on sentences because of missing commas where they were needed before the conjunctions, but it was not at all distracting. With proofreading, it is very easy to fix. The idea and the story is brilliant and definitely deserves a spot in the horror genre. I look forward to read what happens next. I'm still not sure why they are stuck in a sewer, so I'm very intrigued! Keep up the good work!

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So Well Done

This is a delicious, classy, mature, seductive, and spellbinding retelling of Alice in Wonderland. I loved reading the familiar characters represented in the author's original take of them, and the plot thus far is intriguing. The author's writing is so classic and romantic, which I am in awe and inspired by, and I personally really love it. You can tell a lot of work and thought was put into not only the story but also the writing style. I have read several other pieces from this author, and I think she is really talented. I look forward to read more updates from this story.

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Absolutely Stunning

This is definitely one of the best pieces I've read on Inkitt. The story so far is tragic, seductive, and gothic. The female protagonist who leads most of the story is very intriguing and complex. The writing is so beautiful and matches the characters. I look forward to read more works from this author, and I hope there will be more chapters posted to this book soon!

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A Witch Story In Progress

I love Witch stories! This story so far has a gothic vibe, and I'm into it, and I think it has potential once it is edited. Of course, this story is just at the beginning only being 3 chapters right now, so I look forward to see how it grows in the future. I like the idea, and I like where the plot is headed. I think it's really cool and unique how the protagonist slips into a dream world, but I was hoping to read more description of the world and the demons! As of now, the author does a lot of explaining instead of displaying the surroundings with details, so I hope to see that in the future for this story! There are issues with punctuation; there are a lot of comma splices(commas that shouldn't be there) and commas missing where they should be in, which are the compound sentences that require commas and conjunctions. They are easy to fix, so if the author is willing, I'm sure they will be improved in the future. I am invested in the idea, so I look forward to see what happens next! Update soon!

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Interesting. It does need polishing, though.

The story is intriguing. It definitely falls under the sci-fi/fantasy genre with a splash of horror here and there. Even though there is some gore that appears in several parts of the story, it's actually more cute than scary in my opinion. The characters are relatable and likeable. There's also some girl power, which I think is great, and a hint at romance, which I love! I think it is a good idea and creative, but I would like to see it edited and revised in the future. There are so many punctuation errors such as missing periods, comma splices, mislplaced periods, and even missing commas. The story shifts around from present to past tense a lot. In my opinion, there's some unnecessary details that slow down the story. I think I can safely assume that the author is pretty new to writing. The author is strong when it comes to creativity, though, and that's one of the most important things to writing fiction, so I would recommend the author to read books in a similar genre to compare and learn writing style and grammar and punctuation. All these things with practice are an easy fix. I'm looking forward to read what comes next in this story and anything else the author will release. I can certainly count on them for creativity! Good luck writing, and I look forward to see what else happens!

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I like it

I like it. My expertise is not in poetry, but I found it to be emotional, relatable, slightly provocative, and it gets a point across, which I think is good to express through poetry. I left the plot rating low, not because it was bad, but because I don't think plot applies to these poems in particular. It was a good read.

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It's good, but it needs polishing.

I think the writer and this story has potential. I like the cute relationship the girls have, I like the sentimentality of what Gabrielle goes through after losing a loved one, and I like the girl power vibe. I think the plot is a little all over the place, and I wouldn't advertise this as a mystery. It's definitely a drama. There's a lot of punctuation errors and sometimes one of the female protagonist's name, Gabrielle, will change to Gabriel. Author, please correct your own character's name, otherwise with that and the mixture of poor punctuation and spelling errors just makes the writing look lazy. Also, the shooting from chapter five was so random, but I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt and assume that will come back later in the plot and the dots will connect. The story is a little unrealistic in my opinion. One of the girls was so upset about her broken phone but didn't have PTSD after her ex teacher shot up the goddamn place and threatened to kill her? I can't suspend my disbelief. I admire the girl power in the scene, for sure; Ava is a badass, but realistically, there's more complications in a situation like that(with her assurance of the cops coming or not), but that's just my opinion. I enjoyed chapter eight the most. I think it was well paced and really added the extra "umpth" needed to move the story forward. It was sad but neccesary for the story to continue. Again, I think it has potential, and I am interested to read what happens next to see if that teacher is actually going to get his revenge. Let's see what happens in LA. I have hopes for you. Happy writing and update soon!

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Damn! Excellent short story!

This short story is just raw emotion. The writing is very good and conveys the message beautifully, and I think that most people, including myself, can really empathize with the protagonist. Wow, the whole idea of being safer in imagination or drawn into another world other than your own in order not to get hurt is described amazingly in this! Love it! Really feeling it!

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Heartfelt

I'm excited for more chapters to be posted to this story! It has a great mixture of seriousness, comedy, and even a touch of romance and steamyness. The characters are very likeable and Ace is intriguing. I can emphasize with Alana, so I had feelings for sure since the story is so far in her perspective. I'm really invested in the characters, and I think that's what is strong in this book. Mental health is a serious topic, and I think this book does a good job addressing the issues while also humanizing people who struggle with mental illness. There are some punctuation errors, but those are easily fixed, and there's some repetition of the same words within the same paragraph, but again, that's an easy fix, and it's not too distracting. You will still be able to really enjoy the book. I really love this so far, and I'm anxious for more chapters to be released! The characters are so fascinating, so I want to know what happens!

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A sweet romance

The story has a wholesome feel to it. The characters are relatable, so the audience can really empathize them. I've enjoyed that the book is based more on the characters, and in the process, they move the plot forward. The kindling romance is very sweet, so the plot is a nice addition to readers who enjoy Werewolves yet can also curl up with a cup of hot cocoa or tea.

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