The story is going well
This is ggetting really interesting! You write really well :) Keep on it :)
I like your tone and flow. I like the different points of view which provide interesting stories and angles. There is a lot of imaginative plot and details.
This is an extremely well written short horror story. your writing is fluent and flows at an easy pace.
I liked the plot of the story - although the girl's terror could have shown a bit more at the end. But the shortness of it is probably what makes it so scary. It is an interesting topic to write on.
This story is of publishable in perhaps an anthology, or would get high marks if it was submitted as an assignment. Well done and keep writing!
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