Hi, my name is G C Fer, here to review your work.
Read the story now
To be honest, I skimmed through the chapters to get the vibe of the story. Character-wise, there's this distinctive characteristic in a story that makes a character unique, something that defines it and brings it to life. You brought your characters to life beautifully and I can feel the interactions between the characters but it was a bit limited.
Story-wise, I think that the narrative is moving towards the mystery elements of the story. Magic is executed and explained thoroughly. Surprise elements are there, Color, I love color-coding, I want to find out what happens next.
Writing Style... err. The Story is directly going towards narrative and there were few dialogues (I'm just an amateur writer so, I can't say that I'm right, alright?) For me, I think I want more dialogue between the characters so that I can visualize and flesh them out further.
Technical writing. There were some minor things... but mind you, you're good. I use Grammarly but not entirely because you don't want it to dictate how you really write. I think punctuations are important if I'm going to the technicalities. I'm not perfect, myself, that's why I double-check my punctuations with the app.
Overall, I want to continue reading your work. Great Job!