LizzyChrome

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great set up!

I guess I can't do a review for each chapter, so I'll just update this one.

I am loving this story. I think it's a brilliant idea, and I like how it's playing out so far. But I strongly recommend giving it another edit or two. I didn't notice any typos or grammatical errors, but some of the sentences just read awkwardly, and the indentations are often not right. (Sometimes when you upload a story onto a new site, it messes up the format, so you have to go back and iron it out, very annoying. Happens to me all the time.) And like I said last time, some of the dialogue just sounds a bit too modern from Merida. (I'd have her say "lads" or "knights/princes" instead of "guys;" "of course"/"sure"/"indeed" instead of "yeah right;" etc.)

Also, I would recommend reconsidering your title. I'll admit that it does have a whimsical, old-world fairy-tale ring to it. But you should at least capitalize the whole thing, I think.

Back to the good news. Like I said, I am really enjoying this story so far, and plan to continue reading it during breaks at work.. I like the set-up, and I also refreshing to see a story in this contest that isn't about something super-famous (nothing against "Harry Potter" or Marvel). Aside from the few instances of too-modern wording, I can easily picture Merida's voice narrating her sections. Your version of Gawain is a good contrast to Merida, seeming a little older and more mature, more cool headed. And of course he would be, being a knight of the Round Table. Merida not knowing about Arthur makes sense, given that she's come all the way from Scotland (Ireland?).so that too makes for a good set-up.

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