Nariman

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Review

Hi! I completely enjoyed your book. I believe that the flow, idea, grammar and vocab were just perfect. There is only one thing that I didn't like which was the length of the paragraphs. They were really looooong. Try to break them down to be easier in reading. Other than that, it was awesome . Keep it up !!!

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Review

Hi, I actually enjoyed the first chapter. The protagonist is really interesting. I will be waiting for your updates ^_^.

*gulp* To be honest,, I wasn't quite sure of the gender of the protagonist that I had to google the name,. I believe it would be better to give another hint that he is a boy other than the name. (I am not an English person, so if that name is already known to be that of a boy, you don't need >_
I believe you should change the blurb. It should be telling us what the book will be speaking about.

There are some commas missing.

I actually don't know the plot yet, so I gave you a high grade. Anyway, keep it up and goood luck with your book ^>^.

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Criticism

Hi! Your plot is really good,and I like the flow. It isn't rushed or slow. I don't think that you have major problems. Your problem is mainly the punctuation. There are many run-on sentences and sentences that need commas. I find myself reading more than once sometimes to understand. There is also another problem which the tenses. You need to choose what tense you want to narrate with. You switch between past simple and present simple a lot

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ADORED IT

I love your book a lot. The idea is really original. Your humor is just hilarious, but I am really upset that Ned died. WHY??? *cries* I loved him a lott~~~

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Loved it

Hi! I really loved your book a lot. Your answers for most of the questions were really well written. I adored Sana and Shawn a lot. I really grew attached to this story.

You had some few mistakes. I don't know if that was unintentional or you just don't know.

First:: You usually don't put the apostrophe before the S for possession which made me at the beginning confused because you write Shawn with an S at the end.

Second:: In the chapter which began with Sana's dream after she was shot (she saw herself wearing a wedding dress). She heard someone crying and asked "who are crying?". We don't use are, but is

Third: We use the singular verb after Everyone, anybody ... etc

Everyone are looking at me ----.(should be) ---> Everyone is looking at me.

There are some other grammatical mistakes, but I believe that it is just a mistake. Try to edit your book, and it would the best of all. The idea is really good, and I salute you for thinking of all of these complicated stuff.

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