Good start, waiting for the rest
I like the story, and I like the main character. I like the way she interacts with the different characters in her world; the demarcation of each supporting character, so you know where everyone stands in the story. I love how you set up the world and the glimpse into its economic system.
Read the story now
I am intrigued by the plot; of what lies in store for her.
The narrative style is one that has always piqued my interest; since Bram Stoker's Dracula. It is a hard one to pull off, especially when there is only one character from whose point of view you are seeing the entire novel; but at the same time it is the best viewpoint, you basically can get into the shoes of the character and walk the road with them.
So, now that I have gotten the things I liked out of the way, there are a few things you may want to consider looking into.
One is definitely grammar, as with me, it is something that you can miss even in the subsequent drafts, but it can put a reader off. Yours is not as bad as mine, but there are places you might want to look into.
While I agree with the previous review about showing and not telling, I also feel that this is something that has been engraved into writers so much that it has become almost gospel. But the truth is that for some authors it works. I know quite a few talented writers, with actual bestsellers, who do a lot of telling. I feel that show and not tell is more subjective than writers would like to believe. Do what you feel like is best for the story.!
Waiting for the rest of the story.