In a nutshell I am a wannabe amateur writer hoping one day I get to entertain millions of people like the great names before.

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Good start, waiting for the rest

I like the story, and I like the main character. I like the way she interacts with the different characters in her world; the demarcation of each supporting character, so you know where everyone stands in the story. I love how you set up the world and the glimpse into its economic system.

I am intrigued by the plot; of what lies in store for her.

The narrative style is one that has always piqued my interest; since Bram Stoker's Dracula. It is a hard one to pull off, especially when there is only one character from whose point of view you are seeing the entire novel; but at the same time it is the best viewpoint, you basically can get into the shoes of the character and walk the road with them.

So, now that I have gotten the things I liked out of the way, there are a few things you may want to consider looking into.

One is definitely grammar, as with me, it is something that you can miss even in the subsequent drafts, but it can put a reader off. Yours is not as bad as mine, but there are places you might want to look into.

While I agree with the previous review about showing and not telling, I also feel that this is something that has been engraved into writers so much that it has become almost gospel. But the truth is that for some authors it works. I know quite a few talented writers, with actual bestsellers, who do a lot of telling. I feel that show and not tell is more subjective than writers would like to believe. Do what you feel like is best for the story.!

Waiting for the rest of the story.

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Overall Rating
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Grammar Punctuation

Nice Read

It was a nice read. Interesting to see how the two sets of siblings interact.

There was a few spelling mistakes, but that was nothing major, A few always escape a read or two..

Also, the head hoping can get distracting if not careful.

The Melody and Emma was interesting to read, and you could imagine them as you read, which is always a good thing. They were also well developed that you didn't doubt their actions as being anything as in character.

Overall, the story shows a lot of potential in the author!

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