ScarlettRose777

England

I'm just a teen girl, writing from the viewpoint of a twenty-nine year old male. Read his story in my Adult Thriller Dust!

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Science and Foxes together work

A new plot for me to read and it was refreshing. I love foxes and I love some parts of Science. The author set the scene well and I was scared for Adam and Amy. Their relationship was portrayed well. I like how the breaks in the story were set out which made the text clearer to read. I'm very impressed with the story.

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The start of a well written, thought provoking story

Wow. That's really all I can say. The author so far has done a fantabulous job with Firewatcher. I can't wait to see how the story will branch out. I like Mina's character and the mystery of her friend who hasn't been seen. The story addresses issues that teens face such as falling in love and school so I think that the YA market would really appeal to this story. Grammar was flawless, I didn't spot anything that needed change or replacing. I'm now a huge fan. All I can ask is this: What happens next?

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Loved it

With a very sweet ending, plenty of action and a futuristic world, this story has the lot! It's a really good length for a short story and I enjoyed it. The author sets the scene well and with her writing, I could easily picture what was happening in my head and it allowed me to go off into some daydreams. I spotted no faults in the technical writing side of things. One small thing that I would love to hear more about is the back story of the two main characters. I would like to hear more about them whether it would be in a separate story or some sort of prequel to this one. Lovely read!

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Captivating read

First chapter read and I'm already hooked! The author has set the scene well and the characters have been well developed. I noticed a couple of misspellings but nothing too serious. I hope that the author continues with the story as I really enjoyed it.

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A nice pleasent read with a hint of mystery!

First of all, the plot has been thought out well. I like the whole 'first kiss whodunit' element. It was a good addition to the story. I hate being harsh to authors but there were places where full stops were missing and capital letters were needed. This knocked off one star for me. My advice for the author would be to go back and proofread it to catch those small little errors. I hope that the author continues with the story as I am excited to see where this will branch out.

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Short and sweet

To be honest, not a lot happened in the story. I was expecting some more events to happen and to really engage and connect with the characters. Yes, I don't read a lot of prose like this so perhaps I'm being biased or wrong. I feel that the story has a lot more to offer and I hope that the author extends this into a longer piece of writing. Nothing wrong with the technical side of things.

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Good but could be extended

I see potential for this story. However, I did notice a couple of things. The length is short, I think that the story ended quite suddenly. I was hoping for the story to branch out more so I think that the author could make the story longer. I think the plot was a little under developed. I wanted to see some more things happening to the husband and wife. No problems with the author's writing style, he sets the scene well and the technical side was great. If longer and plot more developed, I would give the story 5 stars.

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Too short, needs some work

The introduction was good but the chapter length was too short for me. I was hoping for the chapter to be longer. The grammar needs a little bit of work, I also noticed mix ups between the words 'there' and 'their' which confused me a little. As the story is at the moment, I wouldn't read on. It just didn't grip me.

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Good read but grammar needs improvement

First of all, the plot is really refreshing. This story teaches the reader a lesson about the power of rejection, the consequences and how to say sorry and start over again. This can happen to people in life so I think the story reflected that well. The writing style is good but the grammar knocked off one star for me. I suggest that the author proofreads the story again and fix it up.

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Very intrigued!

Devin has been portrayed well, I can see that stories are one of his favourite things. The author has worked well to show Devin's emotions and personality. The plot and setting of the story are refreshing to read. That cliff-hanger at the end of the chapter made me want to read on and see how the story continues. Found no problems with grammar. A great start to a great story!

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