S. R. R

Emma, can I bring you home?

Firstly, you got some potential. Like so much potential. What a unique and authentic idea you got going on here, and your development of the story is extremely promising. I binged every chapter from start to end. Each one of your characters, whether it's Emma, Sam, Meghan or others, I love every one of them, because they are so well fleshed out. It shows how much effort you've given to outline these characters that they feel so real.

You know, the first thing I notice when selecting a book is its genre. So when I first discovered it was a fantasy genre, I got a bit hesitant since they are not my usual read. But I wanted to give it a shot — read the first chapter, immediately got hooked. Second chapter. Fell in love with Emma and her passion for reading. Third chapter. Fourth chapter... and I just could not stop. It was that immersive!

The thing that fascinated me was your excellent execution of Emma's character. It's usually hard to read small children's characters because authors tend to exaggerate their maturity, but I feel you nailed it! Hats off for that!

Though, there were a couple of punctuation mistakes here and there which stuck out to me and interrupted my reading flow. So, I suggest — use Grammarly or ProWritingAid to go over the chapters, and have them do the rest of the work for you.

But, overall, this story was truly thrilling! Stunning work!

Beautiful!

This book is such a page-turner! I got hooked right from the first chapter and was at the edge of my seat the entire time. Your vivid and realistic descriptions of Edith's emotions granted life to her, especially the part where you described her indecisiveness and anxiousness about Joanna. Stunning scene!

I loved how your narrative flowed, so smooth and effortless, and it showed how much the writer was connected to the characters that he could grasp her emotions, her feelings, her internal conflicts so realistically.

Your poetic wording was so breathtakingly beautiful; it made me gasp. I don't think I am capable of pointing out any grammar or punctuation errors because it was spot on!

Amazing work! Hope to read more from you in the near future.

Promising plot

Attention - Dear readers, please don’t listen to those two fu*kers up there blaming the writer for plagiarizing someone else's work. It’s not true at all! I have read both of the stories and can tell they draw nothing common (except the characters are both nerds, which is a characteristic, not the main theme/plot of the book). Think before you blame someone for plagiarizing. The writer had poured her heart and soul to write this book. You have no right to blame her, a**holes.

Coming to the review, as a new writer, you have done an excellent job in maintaining the structure of the story without drifting away much from the plot. The story was beautiful and heartwarming, and the characters are well rounded, which is something I truly love about this book. Good work!

Now the nit-picky stuff.
The plot is a bit too feminine, you know what I mean? It's not a big problem but I would at least want the male characters to act like a man. They do not have to be strong or masculine but their way of speaking and reacting to certain staff should be like a male.

Your characters are great and funny, especially the protagonist. Her battles with her thoughts were hilarious and genuine, but it’s a bit too long. I mean, readers don't like reading an entire paragraph based on just The character’s thoughts. They can get a little bored and can end up skimming through the paragraphs without reading them.

Coming In a short conclusion, the story is great but it needs a final touch. Just keep on reading and writing, and you’ll soon get better.

Good work!

That's quite an improvement there

So far, I think, I find this story exciting and a page-turner; I got hooked right from the first chapter and was intrigued to know what was about to happen next. Your vivid and realistic descriptions granted life to the protagonist, and I no longer saw her as a fictional character. You have got the skill to grasp your characters emotions, thoughts and feelings so realistically that readers can easily fit themselves in the mc’s shoes. The immediate and convincing actions in the first paragraph hooked me to the next, then one after the other.
Something that you could improve about your story is the summary. Summaries are essential; through reading it, a reader will decide whether they should read the book or not. But the problem in your resume is the overuse of ellipsis. I suggest writing a detailed description of what your book is about or just write down a specific scene from the book that you think the readers will find interesting.
Other than that, it was a great book with well-rounded characters and excellent description and details. Fantastic work, Author! I loved this book.

Underated

As I have mentioned before, I am a slacker but this story was just so interesting that it got me hooked right from the first chapter and I couldn't stop turning the pages. Even though horror stories are not my usual read but this book was something I would have regretted if I hadn't read it. Either it was because of the mysterious setting of the story or your amazing way of portraying it.
I loved how your narrative flowed, so smooth and effortless like a stream of consciousness and it showed how much the writer was connected to the characters that he could grasp his emotions, his sufferings, his internal conflicts so realistically. I was amazed by the graphic details of the scenes, you definitely have your way of stringing words together in the most beautiful way. The suspense was well maintained throughout the story and now I am dying to know who was "him" who has not been named and what was his connection with the main character.
There were few editing issues like rewriting the same word, missing out alphabets, but they were simply too minor to take a star away. Great job! I can't wait to read more! Like seriously, you have to update!

Mysterious

Woah, I wasn't expecting this story to be so mysterious, I love Blue and would love to read more about her life. You plotted the story quite well though there were few minor issues in setting up the scenes but that's alright. Your description was on point and you have done a good job in maintaining the suspense throughout this far. Hoping to read more from you, Author:) Good work!

Such an emotional roller coaster!

(This review covers up to twenty-three chapters)

It’s obvious that the author has given enough efforts to bring this book into existence. Writing the same scenes with two different perspectives must have been a tough challenge for the author since she had to maintain a steady narrative, or the reader will just keep getting lost. But the execution was perfect—so perfect that after a couple of chapters from Stoic’s POV, readers could easily recognise the difference between Emmerson and Stoic’s tone. Hats off to you for that!

The storyline was quite a sensitive one, not for the faint of heart. And I can see how some of your readers dropped this book because the relationship between Stoic and Emmy is toxic. Well, having a teen boy tongue kissing an eight-year-old is honestly, you know, quite distressing. But after reading the same scene from Stoic’s POV, it is clear that he tried his best to fight his desires. Still, it’s wrong. Honestly, I found Stoic to be a very complicated character—he loved Emmerson with every ounce of his soul—And because of this, he always kept his sexual desires caged within him as he feared hurting her. So, the aftermath of the rape scene was heart-wrenching for us to read. Stoic was being devoured by guilt, whereas shame was eating at Emmy. It was painful to read.

Emma well represented the name given to her—brave. She and I had a lot of similarities, and that is one reason I could connect with her on a much deeper level. She had strong feelings towards Stoic, but she kept on denying it since he was like a brother to him. But that one sexual interaction with Stoic changed everything. She was still oblivious to the promise Stoic has given to her father. She didn’t yet know Stoic was her future husband, and hence why she was hesitant to lose her virginity to him. Even though she had fantasised him doing his way to her, but wasn’t quite ready for something like that to happen in reality. She wasn’t ready enough for the pain she was about to receive. Things happened too fast—before she could even get her head around it. Too much to process. She wanted to stop it, but her body had a mind of its own. And it is real! Trust me, I’ve gone through such situations and my reactions were similar to hers.

I also loved the bonding between Stoic and Kenzo. He stood up for Stoic when everyone else was against him—such a genuine friend/brother. It was so heartwarming and sweet! I love Kenzo!

The author really took the time to flesh out her characters. It’s amazing to read such a well-flourished book after such a long time. Grammatically, the mistakes were too minor to take away a star from this book. Having this much accuracy in a second language is commendable! So for that kudos to you!

Your writing style is impeccable and highly engaging. Structuring the book at first from Emmerson’s perspective, then switching to Stoic’s complimented the story so well. All in all, awesome work! It is such an amazing book, and I can not wait to read the rest of it—it’s absolutely phenomenal!

What a pleasant surprise!

When I first read the summary, I thought the book would contain a political plot and there would be some heavy action-packed and rebelling scenes between the two parties. But I didn't at all, even for the briefest of seconds, expect the book to be so humorous. Your characters — Lord Snail, Cousin Poopsie, Awesome MacCheese, Pimple Blackhead — oh Lord, where did you get such names? They complemented the humour of the story so well and gave the readers a read they would hardly forget.

This really captivated me!

I especially loved how naturally your narrative flowed- successfully progressing the novel without being bogged down by minor details. It was so fluid and easy to read, but heavy enough to create strong, tension-packed scenes. Especially in the first chapter, when they were about to head over for the execution of Operation Butternut, it was such a wild moment. The dialogues were well written and realistically delivered.

Overall, it was a refreshing read with awesome characters and an authentic plot. I found great satisfaction in the author’s writing skills. Amazing work! I can’t wait to read more! Like seriously, you have to update!

(Sorry for the short review — this is all I could type between the incessant glitching of my phone.)

Innovative and engaging!

So far, you’ve got twenty-one chapters out, and I binged every chapter from start to finish. It rendered me speechless. There is no word to appraise your work, it’s that stunning! This is one of those books where you keep telling yourself just one more chapter and I will go to bed, and before you know it, it’s midnight already. Rarely do we get to read such a well-flourished book here on Inkitt.

The pacing of the book was perfect, neither too slow nor too fast, which did an excellent job in keeping readers at the edge of their seat the entire time. Each one of your characters, whether it’s Aislin, Raven, Jess or Dr Clayborn, were fleshed out so realistically that I stopped considering them as fictional characters after a few chapters. It showed how much you’ve worked on their personalities and outlined them they came off so authentic.

Another impressive aspect of this book is its brilliant yet concise descriptions. You have an amazing way with words; you choose them so perfectly that they grasp the exact movement/setting of the scene. As a flash fiction writer, I’ve been devouring new words like a hungry beast for years, so I can get my writing as precise as yours. You did it with so much ease — hat's off to you for that! The effort given to bring this book into existence is undeniable.

The dialogues picked up the character’s personality quite realistically and gave each of them a distinct voice. I could not fault its accuracy (although admittedly I wasn’t really checking, as the storyline was so immersive).

Overall, the story is awesome, and your descriptive style complemented the thriller perfectly. You got me hooked, and I can’t wait to read more chapters from the book! Please update soon!

Very Descriptive!

The immediate and powerful actions in the first paragraph hooked me to the next, then one after the other. Overall, a refreshing read with a powerful summary. I must applaud the writer for her captivating writing style and her strong imagination. It’s difficult to flesh out an entire world of zombies based alone on imagination, yet you did it so effortlessly and with so much ease – It’s incredible! I binged the two chapters from start to end. This story was truly thrilling! I Loved it! I loved it so much that right in the middle of the second chapter; I didn’t want it to end! I wanted to envision more scenes. It was that immersive!

You have an amazing way with words; you choose them so perfectly that they grasp the exact movement going on in the scene. As a flash fiction writer, I’ve been devouring new words like a hungry beast for years, so I can get my writing as precise as yours. You did it with so much ease, man! Hats off to you for that!

The thing that distracted me from the story a little were your characters. Even though their reactions and dialogues were quite realistic, but it still felt like you didn’t take enough time to shape their personalities before writing them. But maybe this is because there are only two chapters available from the book, and you’re one of those writers who sprinkle the character’s personality and backstory in few amounts throughout the book without dumping them all in the first few chapters. Either way, it works.

Also, there are quite a few things that need fixing. Grammar and punctuation. A nice proofread will do the job. If not, I recommend using Grammarly or ProWritingAid.

Overall, the story is awesome, and your descriptive style complemented the thriller perfectly. You got me hooked and I can’t wait to read more chapters from the book! Please update soon!

Your plot had me hooked!

Wow! This gave me goldfish syndrome.

My mouth was hanging open in shock throughout. Brilliant writing, suspenseful story, realistic characters and amazing executions. Your writing style never failed to impress me. It's very addictive and intoxicating. It renders me speechless. There is no word to appraise your work, it's that stunning. This story binds you till the end, which is not a surprise, but seriously, the greatest accomplishment for any writer. The emotions are very explained well. This story was truly thrilling! I Loved it! I loved it so much that right in the middle of the fourth chapter; I didn’t want it to end! I wanted to envision more scenes.

I could feel from the start that Aurora is a bold character, but she also has layers of emotions/feelings hiding underneath. The fear of losing her life, the fear of losing her family, and the anxieties that came along with those fears — everything was so realistic that I stopped seeing her as a fictional character after the first chapter. You’ve got excellent skills, and I’ve started envying you for that (in a good way). Aurora’s father, Vito, was a complicated character. He obviously loves his daughter and doesn’t want to leave a bad impression on her, but there’s certainly something, something rather menacing, he is hiding from her — something related to Alfonso’s daughter, apparently.

And I’m dying to find out the secret behind his fear of Alfonso. The man who never seems to leave his throne under any circumstances, the man who never backed down from a fight. What got him so scared suddenly? Ooh, the questions are rising, and my head is about to burst. I can’t wait to read more! Please update soon.

Spine-chilling!

I’m speechless!

Your writing style is so immersive that I could feel myself being sucked into my laptop screen – this is insane! I haven't read a book so good in a long time! There's a feeling you get when you read something great. You are at the edge of your seat, you're biting your nails and turning pages almost faster than you can read them. This book gave me that feeling.

I don't think I am capable of pointing out any grammatical or style errors because everything was spot on! I truly am in love with this book. Like seriously, you have to update!

Awesome work!

Snap

(Read until chapter ten)

So far, I think you have done an excellent job in maintaining the structure of the story without drifting away from the plot much. Chapter one started with the break-up scene of Rae Olsen, which was an engaging start for this book since it immediately draws the reader’s attention into the story. Your writing style is quite immersive and enthralling; you chose to sprinkle down the character’s physical appearance without spilling it down all at once.

The character of Rae Olsen was fleshed out really well – her dialogues, body movements, internal monologue. Everything about her character felt authentic. I’ve read tons of books on Inkitt where the MC turns pathetic after going through a break-up – she would turn into a crying mess and would stay at the sanctuary of her home for days. You didn’t do that. Rae’s experience was quite realistic, and she was both upset yet a little positive about it. And I loved that bit!

No grammatical issues that caught my attention so far.

Overall, it was a beautiful book with well-rounded characters and an exquisite plot, and I’m definitely looking forward to reading more! Stunning work!

Just one more chapter!

This book is such a page-turner! Normally, I keep on commenting on the chapters while I am reading just to inform the writer that I have started reading their work. But this book blinded me from seeing anything else than the words. And I loved how you didn't waste much time and chapters introducing the characters and setting the atmosphere, you just jumped right into it from the first chapter. The realistic and genuine descriptions and details of the characters have done an excellent job in bringing them to life.
In short, I just loved this (still not over yet) and have learned a lot! Great work!

Intrigued

This is such a page-turner! Genuinely in love with your writing style; your short yet concise descriptions about the characters and the scenes drove my senses and imagination to the world you’ve created in this book. I love how you give out just enough information for your readers to leave them thrilled, not confused. The distinctive voice of Gavin, Pierce and Miles and the share of the realistic dialogues between them have done an excellent job in bringing the characters to life. I truly am in love with this book. Like seriously, you have to update! I want to know who’s the killer! Is he really the night stalker or a copycat? I am dying to know!
Mind-boggling work!

Good start!

The simplicity and softness of this love story is beautiful. I see you don't have any other stories on Inkitt so this must be your first one. Honestly, I would say you have done a great job in making the writing as smooth as possible. Keep practicing and you'll soon get there. Good luck, dear❤️😊

Impressive

So, where should I start?
Ness is a book I can't still pin down the plot of. Not in a bad way, you definitely have got a unique and interesting storyline there which definitely got me hooked from the very first chapter. The vivid and sharp descriptions and details were just enough to drive our senses and imagination to the world you’ve created in this book. It's amazing to see how you did that so effortlessly and smoothly which just shows how much of a talented writer you are. You have done an excellent job in making the dialogues as realistic and genuine as possible - something I genuinely admire about your writing.
Coming to a short conclusion, I love this book and would love to read on as you upload more. Great work!

Vivid description

I genuinely love the plot of this book already. The beautiful setting, well-rounded characters, amazing word choice- truly got me hooked. And I will look forward to reading more chapters once they come out. Good work!

Beautiful

What is happiness?
Researchers have yet to pin down the definition or an agreed-upon framework for happiness. With so many takes on happiness, it’s no wonder that happiness is a little difficult to define scientifically, The meaning of Happiness really depends on who you ask. If you ask me what is happiness, I would say, it's the feeling I get when I see a gorgeous smile on the faces of my loved ones, the feeling I get when I write the first draft of my story, the feeling I get when people compliment my work, the feeling I get when I cocoon myself in my parent's arms.
In general, it means that you are pleased with yourself and your choices, and with the person that you are.
Thank you for writing this beautiful piece! I loved it!

Blood & Curses

I owed you this review for a long time now so here it is.
The story was unique and it had me on the edge of my seat right from the beginning. I especially loved how your narrative flows so smoothly and effortless, without showing too much or too little descriptions. You didn't bog us down with character or scene descriptions but rather spread it throughout the story which is a skill only a few authors have. I congratulate you for achieving this.
As a reader, I can say that this book didn't bore me at all. I am not a fan of vampire stories but this one had me hooked because of the realistic description of your characters, the refreshing story and your wonderful way of conveying it.
Great work, Author:)

Amazing!

I am in love with book and I have reasons to say this book is amazing- first is the character development. The way you described each character, giving us a picturesque visual of them and showing us how they behave and act in certain situations, truly amazing! Second is your writing style- Through your writing I could easily connect with their feelings and their emotions. I was hooked in the very first chapter and it didn’t take me long to finish up to this because of how interesting it was. Waiting to read more from you, mate. Keep writing!

Fascinating

Omg! This book is incredible, I started it in the morning and now it's 9;46 pm, it had me hooked for only God knows how many hours. The characters are well developed and the distinctive voice of each of them captivated me. But I still can't get enough of it, I wanna read more. You are an amazing writer, mate. Would love to read more from you. Oh! I just got to know that you are gonna self publish your book. Great decision! Your books deserve to be out there! Good luck with your future, love.