smircle

Tír na nÓg

A vet student from Éire with a penchant for procrastination, so I'll likely be here avoiding my responsibilities 😜 Drop a message on my wall for review swaps 👍 Best of luck writing, daoine. Sláinte!

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An interesting start!

(Read til the end of chapter 9)

This was an interesting start! The author describes the emotions of the characters very well, as well as the settings. The descriptions are well done, especially in the opening chapter, it was very vivid and passionate.

The characters come across well too. I liked that the MC had a good relationship with her parents rather than the usual angst-y interactions seen between teens and their parents. It was a nice dynamic, as was the MC's relationships with her friends. It was a refreshing approach that worked well here. The dialogue was also well written and realistic, so props to the author with that.

There were a few times times where the tenses changed (especially the prologue) and some of the paragraphs could be shortened a bit to help with readability, but all in all, twas an interesting opening with some lovely descriptions.

Good job! :)

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Intriguing!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter four)

THE DESCRIPTIONS! <3 I'm an utter sucker for vivid imagery of any kind and this story had that from the moment it began in heaps, I was instantly sucked into it. The writing style comes across as quite formal but it suits the mood and atmosphere to a T, as does the third-person narrative. There's a foreboding, ominous kind of atmosphere that had me on edge throughout the chapters, while the detailed imagery engrossed me at the same time, so props to the author for creating such an engaging setting.

The characters were very well done too - the dynamic between the brothers is intriguing and they both come across strongly in their own right. I liked the changing POV and the insight it gave into different characters about whom we may not have known much otherwise. The author did these perspectives well and managed to make each character have their own voice.

Brilliant job! :)

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Very engaging opening!

(Ongoing, first chapter)

The blurb alone was enough to have me intrigued; the first chapter only made me more so! I liked the straight-forward narrative of the piece, it really added to the atmosphere and the setting. The banter between the pair of them was entertaining as well as being relevant to developing the characters and the storyline, so props to the author for managing that.

Really good job with this - can't wait to read more and add to this review along the way :D

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An interesting read!

(Still reading, this is based on the first 7 chapters)

This is a really interesting read! I figured it'd be a high-school romance with some of the usual teenage drama thrown in for good measure, but I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be different. The author has a good grasp of their characters and has developed them in an interesting way, especially the MC and her friend, Demi. Though Demi did something to betray the MC's trust, she isn't the 'baddie' in the situation, and I like that the author has created this grey area where the characters aren't only good or bad. It's very realistic and makes the story stand out more.

The descriptions were also really well done. The author conveys the MC's emotions very well, especially during emotional scenes such as at the graveyard and during the fight scene in the dojo.

The first-person narrative is also very well done; usually I find it to be quite robotic and hard to engage with, but that wasn't the case here at all, so props to the author with that.

I hope to add more to this review as I read on. Really good job! :)

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Really good start!

(Ongoing, read until the end of chapter 5)

This is a really good start! You've set up the family dynamic very well, and I really liked that you made it different from all the other 'step-parent' relationship stories. It was refreshing to see that she had a good bond with her step-mother; it made me a little sad to think that if she and Gia got along too, then Kalani could've had a family like before her mother passed. It's unfortunate that they don't, but Gia doesn't seem like a nice person at all, so I don't blame Kalani for wanting nothing to do with her.

The characters are developing well; I liked the interactions between her and her father, and her step-mother. They were warm and loving, which contrasted greatly with the icy, tense encounters with her sister. The fact she's marrying Kalani's ex is a bit weird (does she know they dated?). He comes across as a dickhead - messing around with Kalani while his fiancée is in the same building! It's completely unacceptable behaviour, regardless of how Gia has acted in the past.

One thing I'd say is to make sure each bit of dialogue (from a different person) has its own line. (For example: "I went out last night," Bob said. (new line) "I didn't hear you leave," Jim replied. "Where did you go?" (new line for Bob's response) etc.) It helps with readability and makes it so that you don't need to clarify who's saying what all the time.

Anyhoo, good job with this. Keep writing (and welcome to Inkitt)! :)

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A harrowing opening

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 4)

The opening of this book was so unexpected (warning: flashback to a rape scene). The author skillfully captured the dissociated state that follows such trauma; I felt so helpless and angry at what happened, I was absolutely raging by the end of the chapter.

The next chapters are about the MC's childhood, which involved being in close proximity with the scumbag/rapist. It's an interesting narrative to adopt after such an intense opening, but the author captured the youthful voice very well, they have a talent for writing from different perspectives. The descriptions were also beautifully done; there was some lovely imagery that really added to the narrative, it was lovely to read.

Really good job with this, can't wait to read more! :)

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A gripping read!

(Ongoing, read til chapter 8.5)

This is a really well written story. The author has developed the world very well and I especially liked the little extra details/mentions that set it further apart from reality. The glossary at the start was helpful for reference, but I found that I didn't really need it as the author manages to make the unique concepts come across in the main narrative, so props to them for that :)

The author has developed their characters very well. There's a mystery behind the main character's mother that the author has yet to reveal, only giving hints thus far - this suspense has made it even more interesting and mysterious, fair play for keeping the reader hanging and intrigued!

Really good job with this :)

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Such a lovely writing style!

(Ongoing, read until the end of chapter 8)

This was a really good start! The author has such a lovely writing style, the words flow so well and it really draws you into the story. The imagery was very well written, as was the dialogue - it came across as very realistic and youthful through the use of words like 'dude' and such likes, so props to the author for capturing that.

I also really liked the chapter titles, they had me curious about what was going to unfold. The changing POV was also handled very well; each character developed a distinct voice in their own perspective. I couldn't help but feel sorry for Inigo when it was his POV, but when it turned to Amora's, I was furious at what he had done - the author captured both their perspectives brilliantly, it made me conflicted regarding what happened.

Really good job with this, absolutely love your writing style! :)

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A lovely start

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 2)

This story has a lot of potential. The author has clearly put a lot of effort into developing their characters and that is evident in the narrative. The main character comes across strongly; the insight we're given into her home life sets a rather sad tone for the piece as she clearly hasn't had it easy - but it's not overly dramatised either, which is refreshing since most books would make such circumstances melodramatic, so it was nice to read a more realistic approach.

The author has a good grasp of her characters; the developing relationship between the MC and the love interest is well done and moving at a nice pace.

There are some paragraphing issues that need a little bit of work, but all in all, it was a nice start to a story that the author has clearly put a lot of effort into, so great job :)

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Interesting start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 4)

This was a really good start! The opening few paragraphs were interesting and gave the reader an insight into the characters, especially the relationship between her and her mother. Using "yet again" in relation to their potential argument was a good addition as it was a clever way to let us know that this tension has been here for a long while. The narrative has a nice flow to it; the info about her family and college situations fit well into the story - it didn't seem out of place or forced/info dump-y, more like we were getting an insight into her train of thought. Good job with that :)

The author set up the relationship between her and her grandmother well, too. The little bits in the first chapter made the happenings of the next chapter seem even more realistic; I understood why she felt comfortable around her grandmother before the interaction between them, so it was a very natural and moving moment between them. The dialogue was good, too, and suited the ages of the characters well. I can't help but wonder if the Irish teacher has anything to do with this Celtic knot/design (or am I just stereotyping my own countryfolk in thinking that? xD). I loved her connection with her dog; it was nice to see that she had some source of comfort within her family home.

I felt the story was moving a little bit fast at times - tis only four chapters in and her magic powers have been revealed, along with some background info about the origin of these powers. I'd have like a little more shock/confusion on Kathryn's part about the realisiation; she seems to sort have taken it all in her stride quite easily. A little more description about the characters would be handy too; I don't really know what her parents (or Kathyrn herself) look like. There were a few times when the tenses changed and a couple of spelling/grammar issues, but all in all, twas a really interesting start.

Good job! :)

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Interesting start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 16)

This was a really interesting start! The opening set the scene very well and the author captured the emotions of the MC skillfully. It was sad to read about what she was going through, though it was nice when she laughed when meeting the fella at the airport; the author wrote about that feeling of relief well, good job :)

The dialogue was good, and I liked that the author emboldened and italicised the 'wolf speak'; it made it easier to distinguish between it and external dialogue. The plot is progressing nicely; the descriptions of the MC's emotions are well described, as are the descriptions of the fight scene at the end of the last chapter; there's a good mixture of both.

Good job with this :)

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Good start! :)

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 9)

This was an interesting start! The author describes the main character's thoughts very well; it was horrible to read what he's been through, the way his parents/guardians were treating him and his sister was disgraceful, I really hope they get out of that situation soon. His character comes across as strong and brave; the way he cared for his sister was admirable; their relationship was depicted well, so well done to the author for capturing that.

The dialogue was good and realistic for the ages of the characters. His relationship with this new student is interesting and well written; hopefully he can be a source of support and comfort for him as the story continues.

Good job :)

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Very engaging start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of ch2)

This was a very entertaining start! I'm loving the MC already; it's refreshing to read about a character who accepts herself and doesn't give a shite what anyone else thinks. She's bold, confident and happy with herself as she is, and it's just such a lovely change to read from an overweight character's perspective rather than them just being the side character for entertainment purposes.

The chapters are quite short but entertaining as heck, and we learn a lot about the characters from their dialogue and interactions. It's sad that Kevah's mother thinks she'll never find a partner because of her weight, I really hope she gets over that notion and supports her daughter in every way. Her interactions with her siblings were very realistic and amusing, as were her encounters in the restaurant with the two men.

I'll add more to this as I read on; really looking forward to reading more, great job! :)

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Interesting start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 10)

This was a really interesting start! The opening scene was very dramatic and vividly described, it set a very sombre mood that underlay the rest of the chapters. The horrific dreams the characters have are intriguing - very dark and haunting, and the author captured the feelings one would feel upon awakening very well.

The descriptions were well done; the author has a knack for describing settings and scenes, whether it's action-packed or something simple like a bustling town. The characters are well developed and come across strongly; I liked the changing POVs, especially Alice and Avice's perspectives, it was interesting to get an insight into their characters and learn more about the MCs from their insights.

Really good job :)

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Lovely start!

(Read til the end of chapter 7)

This was such a lovely start! Given that it's a children's book, I wasn't really expecting much in the way of writing style, but I was quickly proven wrong in that regard. The author managed to capture a lot of detail and emotion in very few words - it suited the piece perfectly given that it was from a child's POV. There was an innocent wonderment about the piece that gave it an Anne of Green Gables vibe, and I loved the pro-LGBTQ+ stance and the fact that there wasn't an issue with same-sex parents. I think that's such an important message to get across to children and there are too few books out there that deal with it, so props to the author for helping to fill in that unfortunate gap!

The characters themselves were very well written. Despite the simplicity of the narrative, they came across strongly. I really felt the connection she had with her new parents; shared love of reading and literature is a powerful bond across the ages. The author captured the childlike voice of Em perfectly; the dialogue and word choice reflected her age, which is something many authors forget when writing from a young person's POV, so well done with that.

I hope to read on soon - lovely job! :)

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Very insightful!

Another well written one-shot that skillfully captures the anxiety and uncertainty that comes in the build up to the arrival of a child. The author creates a tension almost instantly and allows it to build up and abate over the piece until it reaches it breaking point. I found this very realistic, especially since the breaking point was something as simple as undone dishes - it's a build up of the little things that makes us snap sometimes, so it was very relatable and understandable why she went off at him like that.
Really good job with this :)

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An action-filled opening!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 5)

This was a really interesting start - the author sets the scene beautifully with their use of detailed descriptions. This was worked into the narrative very well, and there was a good balance between it and the dialogue, I very much enjoyed the dialects; it added a realism and authenticity to the piece and helped to distinguish between the characters, so props to the author for that.

I liked the little extra details the author added throughout - "what in Avornath is that?" and other little world-specific additions helped to build on this fantasy world and distinguish it from the world in which the reader lives. The fact that his use of magic tired him was also a detail I thought helped to make this story stand out - I don't usually read much fantasy, but in the ones I have, using magic never seemed to affect the characters in any way; so his having a limited ability to do so here came across as differen. It made the fight scenes even more tense as I kept wondering if he was going to be depleted of it before the end.

Really good job with this :)

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A lovely start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 3)

This was a really sweet start! There's something about it that hooked me instantly and drew me in. The characters are coming across strongly already, especially Yuki - she's compassionate, friendly, passionate about literature, and her interactions with her friends and family were wholesome and realistic; it was entertaining and .very engaging to read.

Tis only the third chapter, so I'll add to this review as I read on; but really good job so far; looking forward to more :)

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An interesting read!

(Ongoing, read until the end of chapter 16)

This was an interesting story! The author clearly has put a lot of effort into coming up with the backstory behind the characters.

There are some twists throughout that were surprising, and the characters come across strongly. Chloe has had a tough life, but she's strong and stands up for herself, which is refreshing to see in a female protagonist. Her relationship with Andrei is interesting - there's obviously an attraction between them, but Andrei treats her horribly, so I really hope she continues to stick up for herself.

I really liked the addition of different languages, it made it authentic and was really cool to read.

Good job! :)

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A chilling read

This was a spine-chilling read - very eerie; there was something almost manic about it; like we were watching a man descend into indescribable grief right in front of us - it was harrowing.

The author captured the desperation and denial of the character skillfully - using the second person ('you', 'our') was a really clever way to draw the reader into the story and make it even more gripping. It read like a train of thought; like we were inside the man's head, feeling and thinking everything he was.

Ending it off on the short repetitive lines only further added to the 'descent into insanity' feeling, but it also gave a finality to the piece; like he'd decided to join them in the only way he knew how ...

Excellent job! :)

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Interesting start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 10)

This was a really interesting start! The author set up the relationship between the MCs well: Sophia seems very conflicted about her relationship with Connor, and rightly so - he doesn't come across as very nice at all, I do wonder what she sees in him. The changing POVs between the pair of them is very helpful for getting a sense of what both characters are thinking; Connor's perspective was especially interesting as it shows he does care about her, but there's something holding him back from really expressing himself in a heartfelt, loving way.

The author has established the other characters very well. There's a genuine feeling of friendship between them all, with what their bantering dialogue and mannerisms, so the author did a good job in capturing that.

Good job with this! :)

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Entertaining and engaging!

(Still reading, this review covers up til the end of chapter 8)

I'm really enjoying this! The author has a very engaging and lively writing style that's refreshing to read; they manage to balance the bits of humour with the more serious scenes very well, it was a really intriguing approach to take that definitely paid off well.

The characters are really well done too; the MC comes across as very relatable and realistic, especially with the way she deals with the break-up in the first few chapters. I also really liked the personal narrative and referring to the reader with the likes of "ladies and gentlemen". It was very engaging and definitely gave a good sense of the MC's personality, which is highly likable and way too relatable xD

I'll add more to this review as I read on, which I hope to do soon! :) Great job!

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An intriguing start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 8)

This book was really well written. The author has a lovely writing style that really captures the emotions of the MC in an intense and heartfelt way. The words flow beautifully and made me feel for the characters very quickly - props to the writer for pulling that off.

The author also sets the scenes very well. They have a good mixture of cutesy, sweet scenes as well as more intense ones, as seen in the opening chapter. The author conveys both types very well and has a good grasp of transitioning between them.

I also liked that the story began at a future point than to the following chapters. It was an intense opening scene that created a lot of suspense, but the jump back in time was well done as it created a mystery about how she ended up in the situation she's in in the first chapter. Reading the lead up to that is a good approach on the author's part to tackling this story.

Really good job! :)

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A lovely start

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 3)

This was a really good start. The author did a good job of catching us up on the goings-on between the two MC (this is a sequel) without making it feel it feel like an info dump. The third person narration really helped with this; it gave the piece of a flow-y feel that allowed the author to cover a long stretch of timeframe without it feeling jump-y, so props to the author with that.

The characters are well developed and come across strongly. The perspective of both MC's is given, which is very helpful in gaining an insight into both their mindsets. Their love for one another came across very well this way, especially with the little extra details like the note he left for her in one chapter.

Really good job with this :)

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An intriguing beginning!

(Ongoing, read until the end of chapter 5)

This was a really interesting read! Though I was only born on the tail end of the '90s myself, the author set the scene of 1994 very well, using references that are well known even for people who weren't around in that era. The narrative was straight-forward and well written; I especially like the author's attention to the little details, such as one of the cars reeking of "french fries" - the extra details worked really well to create a realistic atmosphere without overloading the reader with unnecessary descriptions.

The dialogue was well written and realistic for the ages of the characters. I usually find that most dialogue written from a teenager's POV is way too formal and stilted, but that wasn't the case here, so props to the author for that.

Really good job with this! :)

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Really good start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter four)

This is a good start! You've set up the somewhat strained family dynamic well; there was a lot of underlying tension in the first chapter, and I liked that you didn't overload us as to why. Keeping the information about the mother until a later chapter and just letting us know about the father's passing made it feel less like an info dump, which is definitely a good thing to avoid in order to make the narrative seem more like a story, so good job with that :)

You described the MC's feelings very well, especially regarding her father. She seems to think about him a lot whenever she's with the horses, so I understood her upset when Jen started going on about selling off his last horse. I'm glad she realised it was for the best though; as heartbreaking as it is to do it, it's not fair to keep an animal if you can't provide the right environment and care to them, so it was very mature of her to realise and admit that. Cheers for getting that message into the story.

There were a few paragraphs that were quite long (especially in ch2, I found it hard to keep track of what line I was on within the big blocks of text), but nothing that can't be easily fixed with a quick run-through. All in all, a really interesting start with some lovely descriptions and characters that are developing well already. Good job! :)

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An interesting beginning!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter four)

This is a really good start! The author has done a great job in setting up this fantasy world and explaining its customs and differences to the reader. One bit that stood out to me was in the first chapter when the MC was giving information about the background behind the formation of the world: most stories would delve deeply into the backstory in a way that's very info dump-y, but the MC here admitted that she didn't know the whole story behind it. I liked this approach; it allowed me to get a sense of the world before being told about its origins and history, so it came across less like a history lesson and more like a story. Good job with that!

The characters are well developed and their voices are distinct, you could tell who was speaking even if the POV announcement weren't there. The descriptions were good, especially about the MC's feelings regarding being chosen for the role; I felt her confusion, worry and uncertainty. All the characters were introduced well: spaced out rather than being all crammed into the one chapter/section, so it was easy to get a feel for them individually before meeting another one.

Really good job with this :)

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Completely gripping!

Updated review (now finished)

Absolutely thrilling! I've little to add since my first review since I thought it was brilliant back then too and nothing has changed in that regard. I love horrors and thrillers but find there's usually something missing - but that was not at all the case for this story! Skillfully written, excellent tension building, a well researched and intriguing storyline - and the ending, I loved the jab at the movie/entertainment industry's vacuousness, and how she turned the traumatising ordeal into something that actually was to the benefit of the natives (a fitting ending given that Jim started off trying to exploit them).
An excellent read; can't wait to read more from the author :D

===

As much as I want to binge this, I'm making myself take my time 'cause I don't know if I'll find another story quite like it! It's thrilling and gripping - the author balances the eerie atmosphere with just the right amount of humour and light-heartedness from the characters, it reads like a charm.

The writing style was perfect for the piece - the varied sentence length and structure, coupled with concise but graphic visuals, made for a tension and suspense that was entirely immersive, I flew through the first few chapters and could barely stop reading to leave a comment on the writer's wonderful skills.

I'll add more to this review as I continue reading on, but if the rest is anywhere near the standard of the first 8 chapters, then my rating won't be changing in the least! Excellent work :)

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An immersive experience!

(Ongoing, this review covers up to the end of chapter 4)

I'm absolutely immersed in this book. The author's writing style is so beautifully done: it's gripping and heartfelt and there's something so engaging about it, it's amazing to read. I don't know much about Korea (where the book is set), but the author has described the setting so vividly and introduced the characters and culture with such clarity that it didn't take long for me to feel right at home in so different an environment.

The characters are so well crafted: the narrative doesn't follow any one character, instead it's a rather omnipresent voice that flows between them all within a chapter, though the main focus is on the Soo-Ah (the young female protagonist). The flipping between different perspectives should be messy and make it hard to follow, but that wasn't at all the case here. The author skillfully gives insight into each character in a way that's honestly maddening to read 'cause I don't know how they do it! It's a talent I doubt I'll ever develop xD

I'll add more to this review as I read on, but just wanted to write one now 'cause this book certainly deserves a 5-star rating! Excellent job, can't wait to read on! :)

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Completely enthralling!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 7)

I'm utterly captivated by this story! I haven't read a story set in the drag scene that has taken this angle - it's very refreshing to see a different side to drag culture, one that's less flashy and showy and more focused on the person beneath it all, but still maintaining the atmosphere associated with the life. The author does a wonderful job of capturing all this, props to them!

The descriptions are very well done too; the author sets the scenes skillfully, but they capture the emotions of the main character - Bee - even more so. From his tense relationship with his roommate to his interactions with the mysterious Viktor, his thoughts and feelings are portrayed with a clarity that quickly drew me into the narrative. He's a very well developed character into whom we're given a great insight, but he's also unpredictable and does things that surprised me, but not in an out-of-character way - more so that there's more to him than meets the eye, and I'm entirely intrigued to find out more.

Excellent job with this, can't wait to read on!

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A very engaging read

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 7)

This was a very engaging read. The author skillfully writes in the first person narrative in a way that flows well and comes across as natural. They also handle the changing POV very well; both characters have distinct voices that help give an insight into the general opinions of both species (werewolf vs human), which I found to be very helpful in understanding the mindsets and intentions of the characters.

Caelynn comes across as a strong, determined and mature character who - despite not wanting to accept the fate that is in store for her - has decided to use her circumstances for the 'greater good' of her people. It's an admirable feat; I like that she has a purpose, an intention behind accepting her new position, rather than just jumping at the chance to fall into bed with him because he's good-looking. It adds more suspense to the plotline and makes for well-rounded, three dimensional characters who are set apart from the norm.

Really good job with this :)

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Adorable, can't wait for more!

(Ongoing, read until the end of chapter 2)

This was such a sweet beginning! The author captures the innocence of young affection so well, I was nearly squealing during the two characters' first encounter xD The use of the diary entry to open the story was a really good choice, it helped to get across the innocence of the young character and how she was feeling about her changing family circumstance. The author also writes about the MC's stammer in a very realistic way, so props to them for that.

Tis only the second chapter, so I'll hopefully add more to this review along the way - can't wait for more! :D

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Very engaging story!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 7)

This is a really engaging read! I found the first person narrative very immersive, especially since she's such a strong main character who doesn't take shite from anyone, family or employers alike xD The author sets the scenes very well and uses dialogue that is realistic and engaging. I especially liked the Slavic language used in the first chapter, it made it feel all the more authentic.

Really good job with this, keep writing! :D

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Really good start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 4)

This is an interesting start. The author has set the scene very well and has created characters that come across very strongly. The main character is especially well developed through the use of diary entries mixed in with the 'present' narrative, so props to the author for using that style, it worked very well.

The author describes the scenes and the characters very well too, especially the mysterious and handsome Mr Philips. The author also describes the emotions of the characters well, especially regarding the relationship between the main character and her partner at the start.

All in all, a really good start - good job :D

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Really good start!

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 8)

This is an interesting read. The author has a good grasp of their characters and managed the create a protagonist who made me feel for her situation. She's relatable, realistic and comes across as very mature for her age, like she was forced to grow up too quickly. She obviously cares very much for her family given that she has accepted to be a surrogate. It's a big decision to make and the author's description of the MC's feelings - the regret, uncertainty, constantly trying to convince herself to not/do it - adds to the realism of the situation, so props to the author for creating that mood.

The dialogue is well done, especially between her and Kelvin. They obviously love each other, but I do see why he decided to do what he did; but I also understand why she did too, so it's tough to create a 'villain' in the situation. The author has created well-developed, three dimensional characters, which is very impressive in such a short amount of time.

Good job! :)

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Good job! :)

(Ongoing, read til the end of chapter 6)

The author did a really good job with this, especially since it has such an intense subject matter. The descriptions were very well done; the opening scene was riddled with suspense and tension that was well built up; the graphic imagery only further added to this effect.

The author clearly has a good understanding of their characters and portrays them well. The changing POV was well done and helped give an insight into each of the characters individually, which is a very handy perspective to have. The bit of mythology about Yoruba was especially interesting, I'd love to see more of that in future chapters.

All in all, a very interesting and intense start. Good job! :)

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An intense opening

(Ongoing, read til end of chapter two)

This is a really well written story. It started off quite light-hearted and banter-y, but tension quickly arose in the first chapter that the author captured very skillfully. The characters are well developed already, and I liked the distinct dialect used in the dialogue, it added a realism to the words, which I find is often lacking when writing from a youth's perspective.

The author adds in moments of humour too which came across very well. The author has a knack for transitioning between moods and expressing the characters' emotions through very little words. I'm looking forward to seeing where the rest of this story goes. Good job! :)

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An intense opening

(On-going, read the first chapter)

This was an intense first chapter. The author does a wonderful job of capturing the turmoil and fear of the character as she's entrapped by the horrific figure. The imagery was very vivid and quite graphic at times, which only further added to the danger of the piece. The closing scene was especially shocking, it was a very good way to end it, leaving the reader wanting to know more about just what is happeneing.

Great job! :)

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An interesting read

(Read til chapter 8)

This was an interesting read. The author uses some lovely descriptions in describing the characters' appearances, they came across very strongly. The MC's relationship with her mother was lovely to read, they're obviously very close, which is a nice change from the usual poor parent-child relationships seen in most stories these days.

The dialogue was a little choppy in places but no doubt the author will fix this during the editing stages. I'd love to have had a scene about her interaction with the children in the orphanage in chapter one, it would be a good chance to learn more about her personality as well as to highlight how important the donation is that she gave.

The fate/chance encounter plot is nice to read; the author does a good job of capturing the suspense about their potential meetings.

All in all, an interesting plot that the author has developed well. Good job! :)

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An intriguing read

(Still reading, this review is based on the first 6 chapters)

This is a very intriguing read; the author has managed to create a thrilling atmosphere that hints at an underlying sense of danger and mystique. It's very alluring and drew me in right from the first chapter.

The author is very descriptive; they describe the setting and characters very well so that they're all distinct, which is quite a feat given that a theme of the book is how you have to fit in in order to stand out. The author did a great job of capturing this - props to them.

The dialogue is engaging and comes across as realistic. It was interesting to see the development of the main character: she evidently doesn't want to act so rude and harsh to her peers, but there's a reason for her doing so that is slowly revealed to the reader. I liked that we weren't told outright about her motives; the gradual revelation drew me in and made me want to read on to find out just what had happened.

Excellent job, can't wait to read on :)

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An intense read

(On-going: read til chapter 5)

This is an intense read. The opening is shockingly violent and the rest of the chapters are similarly so. The author doesn't shy away from the grim details in such scenes (warning: sexual and physical assault), making them harrowingly realistic.

Though the characters in the book - the evil stepmother and step-siblings, the dad who doesn't care - should come across as cliché, the author manages to add little details that make them more realistic. There was a line about the father looking as though he was worried about her following an abusive scene, so the author is developing their characters well and making them stand out without trying to redeem them.

The grammar and spelling was good, very little to work on there, and the pacing of the story was well done. The author has a knack for capturing the passage of time and focusing on the scenes that are important to the plotline, rather than describing every little detail.

Great job - I look forward to reading more :)

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Engaging first chapter!

(On-going; read the first chapter)

This was an engaging opening chapter. The author's use of realistic dialogue made the characters very relatable. The first-person narrative style created a personal atmosphere, which suited the piece very well, as did the italicised thoughts used throughout.

The pace of the story is good; though only the first chapter, the author has managed to develop their characters well, as well as giving some background information without it coming across like an info dump, so fair play with that.

I also very much enjoyed how the chapter didn't focus on introducing the potential love interest but rather the MC's (Olivia) new roommate. This stood out to me, as most stories would tend to delve right into the romantic angle, so I thought it was a very refreshing change to see friendship prioritised over relationships.

All in all, an interesting first chapter that sets the tone for the rest of the story. Great job! :)

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