Firstly I would talk about the plot idea
Read the story now
The story is infact very different then the normal mafia or romance book which I presume this is as I have not completed it yet.
So great work there!! Nice idea!!
Secondly I will talk about how the plotline is
Well the plotline is quite interesting. The way the story has been portrayed is really beautiful. The way the story is escalating is also very nice. And the mysterious part that the author has put forward along with a blooming romance is really very great.
One point I will like to add is that surely that though the plot is really beautiful, I would like the story's pace to be a bit fast than the pace at it is right now. And I understand many may not have the same opinion about this thing.
Thirdly, coming to the editing
It has been greatly done. The paragraphing is really beautiful and so is the grammar which actually portrays your fluency.
And lastly I will come the writing style
The writing style is really beautiful. It hooks the reader, asking them to move to the next chapter. So it's quite beautiful.
Great work there. I will love to see it published as a paper book one day.
You have a long way to go dear author