Opalin Hubay Pickens

Kept Me Reading!

Heyla!

First, I wanted to say a big thank you to T.M. Luna for sharing this story with us. I really appreciate all the hard work and imagination that went into making this story, and the courage it took to share it with others. Second, this review is for the novel as it stands on April 24, 2022. And as it stands, it's not a completed novel yet. It's still ongoing, and likely hasn't gone through the revision process. Because things will have likely changed by the time you get around to reading this review, I highly encourage everyone to still give this novel a read and see for yourself how well you like it! Now, with that out of the way, let's get on to the review!

Plot 5 Stars: The plot is strong and solid. I can figure out what the story is about, I'm able to follow along, and the author is still able to create a sense of mystery, of impelling the reader to keep going and see if questions get answered. This is a real page turner that I enjoyed!

Writing Style 4 Stars: I was able to get a real feel for the characters involved. See inside their heads and get an inkling of their motivations. There were a few word choices and sentence and paragraph structures that were a bit awkward, but not in a way that overall detracted from the story. I do encourage people to give the third person viewpoint a try when they want to give insight into multiple characters, but that's a personal taste of mine. I feel like so much can be done in the third person that can't be done in shifting first person points of view, but I've also seen people do some amazing things with this particular format, too. So it's less of a complaint and more an encouragement to experiment with different voices in future stories. And I do hope to see future stories from this author, once this one has been completed!

Technical Writing Skills 3 Stars: The punctuation and grammar is rough, but I'm able to follow along with the story just fine. I can tell that, once it's gone through the revision and editing phase, this story will shine!

Overall 4 Stars: The characters all feel very three-dimensional. No one is all good or all bad here. Yes, a few of them do some things that aren't very nice, but then they realize what they've done and try to make things right, or as right as they can possibly make it, considering their actions. The people in it are vulnerable, sometimes likeable, other times frustrating. They feel like people, and that's what I look for in a story when I read it: do the main characters in the story feel like actual people, with flaws and strengths and everything in between? And for this story, I can definitely say "Yes!" especially with regards to the final chapter entry as of this writing. I want more, and I hope to get more from this author!

A Heart Wrenching Story

Heyla!

First, I want to thank the author for sharing this story with us. I greatly appreciate the work and effort that went into crafting this tale! Second, I want to note that I'm reviewing this as it is on April 8, 2022. I encourage you to give the story a look for yourself, as things might have changed since my review! With that out of the way, let's get the review started!

Plot 3 Stars: So far, I'm able to get that this story is about two soul sisters with special abilities who find werewolf mates. Beyond that, I'm trying to figure out the full plot. I'm still not quite sure, but the story keeps me reading.

Writing Style 3 Stars: Word choice and sentence and paragraph structure a bit awkward. And I think this story would have been better told in the third person, rather than shifting points of view, but that's a personal taste of mine. For me, this is part of why the third person viewpoint exists. Again, this is just my personal taste.

Technical Writing Skills 2 Stars: The story needs a lot of editing and revision, but it gets its point across at least.

Overall 4 Stars: I really, really, really like Tara and Sid. They have personalities. They have their strengths, their weaknesses, their vulnerabilities. And more than anything, they demand to get to know who these strange men are rather than just easily falling into their arms. It's nice to see a story in which the female leads actually get to know the people they're fated to be with before falling into the man's arms. It's nice to see a story in which the female leads aren't meek and submissive and "perfect" in some way. These women are far from perfect. As I said, they have their flaws, but that's part of what gives them three-dimensionality! The author does a great job of making me feel strongly for these women, and I hope the story takes a turn for the better! The only reason I'm giving this story 4 stars instead of 5 is because I'd like to see a stronger plot and some editing put into this to really make the story shine at its best! 'm really enjoying this story so far and hope to see more!

I Wish It Were A Full Novel!

Heyla!

First, I want to thank the author for sharing this story with us. I enjoyed the ride! Second, I want to note that I write this review as the story stands on April 8, 2022. Many changes could have occurred since this review was made, so I encourage you to give the author a chance and read the story for yourself! So with that out of the way, let's get on to t he review!

Plot 5 Stars: The plot is quite strong and solid. We know who Malia is and what she's about. We know what drives her to do what she does. And we know we're in for one great ride!

Writing Style 5 Stars: I love the writing style! I was really able to get a feel for Malia as a person, and I really enjoyed that. The word choice and paragraph and sentence structure was excellent. Very little struck me as awkward.

Technical Writing 5 stars: The technical aspect of the writing was very good! A lot of care went into editing and polishing this story to make it shine at its best!

Overall 5 Stars: All right. So this story has everything I look for: A strong, tight plot, a style that sucks me into the story, good editing, and wonderful character development and world building. I'm invested in the character of Malia. She's not a perfect angel. She has her flaws, her weaknesses, but she also has her strengths and virtues. She's tough, but also has her vulnerabilities that she manages to turn into strengths. I LIKE Malia, and I find myself rooting for her during the story. The supporting characters have me just as captivated. I'm especially interested in Ralph, as he hints at having a very interesting past. I really do enjoy the supporting cast members of this story as much as I enjoy Malia as the main character.

The world building is just as good, here. The world feels real and the things that occur make sense enough that I can get a feel for what is and isn't supposed to be. So I can feel along with Malia when things aren't right. I can agree with her that things are off. I can rail along with her as the higher-ups block her at every turn. Nothing feels strange and out of place, here, unless it's meant to be strange and out of place.

All in all, this is a really fun story! My only regret is that it's meant to be a short story, a novella at best, which breaks my heart, because I'd love to see this tale expanded as a full novel! But then, I'm greedy that way, always wanting more, more, more!

I Want More!

Heyla!

I'd like to make note that this review was on the story as it exists on April 8, 2022. There could have been some massive changes since this review, making the story even better, so I encourage you to take a look at the story for yourself! With that out of the way, let's move on to the review!

Plot 5 Stars: The plot is tight and solid. We know who Rose is, what's plaguing her, and how she's given a gift that will ease her pain. Things are ramping up in chapter 2, already, promising a lot more to come!

Writing Style 5 Stars: I really feel like I'm in the tortured mind of a trans woman. I can feel her personality oozing from the pages, getting a sense of who she is with her story, without her having to state things directly. Word choice and sentence and paragraph structure are superb!

Technical Writing Skills 5 Stars: Superb! It's obvious the author went through great pains to edit this story so that it shined at its best!

Overall 5 Stars: The plot is solid, the writing style is wonderful, the technical side is lovely, the characterization and world building is on point. I love this story and everything about it!

A Unique Story!

Heyla!

First, I really want to thank the author for sharing this story with all of us. I really did appreciate the ride and opportunity to review this work. Second, I want to note that I am writing this review as the book exists on April 7, 2022. Please understand that there could have been vast changes made to the story since this review was written. I encourage others to give the story a read and see how much it's changed since the writing of this review--especially since this is only one person's opinion. So, with that out of the way, here is my review of the Gourmet Gladiator:

Plot 4 Stars: The plot is quite strong. The story is about a teenage boy named Toby who was bullied by his peers and neglected by his parents, all for the simple "crime" of being overweight. On his 16th birthday, he eats a table and obtains a unique and very powerful ability. This should have been where things take a turn for the awesome. Instead, emotional pain and turmoil from his past keeps him from making good decisions, snowballing into a series of consequences that end on a cliffhanger. In fact, I would say that this is a tale of "Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely" as Toby becomes progressively arrogant and violent throughout the book, and he eventually pays for that aggression and violence at the end of it. Overall, this has the feel of a coming of age story in which Toby has to recognize the wrongs he's committed in order to make things right. At least, that is my hope.

Writing Style 3 Stars: I think the author did an excellent job of putting us in the mind of a 16-year-old boy. I took off two stars because word choice and paragraph & sentence structure was awkward in many places.

Grammar & Punctuation 2 Stars: The book was readable and coherent. I was able to follow along with the story without any real problems. However, the book definitely needs heavy editing work.

Overall 3 Stars: The plot is very strong and compels the reader to keep reading to see how Toby learns and grows. The action scenes are solid and encourage the reader to keep reading to see how they resolve themselves. The writing style very definitely conveys the idea that we are in the mind of a teenage boy who is hurting a great deal. This story has a lot of great potential! So. Why three stars instead of four or five?

I am a lover of character development and world building, and I felt that the story rushed over two these elements to get to the action.

With regards to character development, I really needed a good idea of who Toby was before the transformation to be better able to gauge who he was after the transformation. This in turn would have allowed me to become truly and genuinely invested in Toby and cheer for him as he went through his trials. But all I knew of Toby was that he was overweight, bullied, and neglected. No one deserves bullying and neglect, so I naturally felt bad for him. But that was all I felt for him. The only time I got to see a hint of who Toby was, was when he made clear the fact that he didn't like a girl until after her transformation, as she now conformed to popular and conventional ideas of feminine beauty. This told me he was a typical teenage boy with typical teenage hormones. Sure, I was disappointed to discover that this was the case, but I wasn't surprised, either. I don't expect the protag to be a perfect angel. I expect them to have their flaws and blind spots. So I chalked this up to this being his flaw and blind spot. And I wanted more of this. I wanted more peeks into who Toby was before the change so I could compare it to who he is after the change, as much of the conflict in the first third of the book arises from the fact that he's become changed and different from who he was before the transformation, and that change wasn't for the better. I couldn't say one way or the other whether this was true, because I didn't get to see a lot of Toby in the beginning.

Every character, whether a minor, 2-dimensional character or a major 3-dimensional character, contributes to the nature of the story, giving us more insight into who the main character is through interactions with the main character. Hence, I wanted to see more of certain characters that seem to play some key significant roles in Toby's development as a character. Randol, for instance, needed more development. Randol plays one of the pivotal roles in Toby's development, so care and attention in building up Randol into a fleshed out person was needed for me to see how he relates to Toby. The same goes for Rebecca and George. These two characters appear again and again, and Rebecca, in particular, is also pivotal in Toby's development. I would have liked to have these characters fleshed out and developed so that their actions and words made more sense later on in the story. As it stands, I'm left scratching my head at the things these characters do and say.

Word building is also important to the story. I know only a few things about the world, which tends to leave me confused when certain things happen in the story. For instance, is the world a dystopian type world where things are just so bleak? Or is this meant to be a world where things are like they are now, just with people who have superpowers. I can't really tell, and these questions leave me with a question mark as to whether or not certain things are normal for the setting, or if it's not and I'm supposed to feel suspicious when it goes against what I know of it. Right now, I'm thinking that this might be some kind of dystopian world where even its heroes tend more towards True or Chaotic Neutral rather than Good-aligned. Which is fine, but I would like to be more certain of my assessment of the world so I have a better idea of who the main character is in relation to this world. Right now, I see Toby as rather Chaotic Neutral in the way he handles situations in a Chaotic Neutral world, but I'm not quite sure that's what the author intended.