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THE EYE OF YOL

The Eye of Yol is an effigy of a voyage to new horizons. The imagery, the descriptions, the words, so beautiful it flows like a waterfall that just keeps falling.

The premise of this story's unique and it reminds me of this thing I do where I address letters to a stranger, in a journal form recounting my ordeals and whatnot. The story follows a mother's journaling of her voyage on the Eye of Yol to her child, and it is truly exceptional. The world building, as excepted was very well done.

It does carry on as though the readers know exactly what Xantha speaks of when she rambles about her transoceanic journey, using words and naming places and phenomena we know nothing of. Of course that comes from the particular style of writing, but it gets a bit confusing to keep up with all the information. I mean she's writing to a 12 years old Shae, is she able to understand all of this?

Still I loved her voice, her narration, especially of the encounter with the octopod creature and her dream about Shae. It was kind of symbolic of how she felt, being away from Shae for so long, pursuing her own interest instead of putting Shae's first. That's what I got from that scene.

Good Story

It is a budding dramatic plot, of course that's usually the case with teen fiction. I've always wondered about fast forming friendships like Y/N and Jimin's and if they really exist, what I loved more was how they bumped into each other and how their paths intertwine from there. Y/N's a strong, confident MC and I'm a sucker for those, I love MCs who stand up for themselves and others, and I also like the premise of Jimin not encouraging or defending Seolhyun's bullying.

I think it's too busy with the capitalization, italics and short sentences here and there. I don't think there's need to italicize a POV character's thoughts as the chapter already follows their account of things.

In terms of mechanics, it does need a good round of edit. The dialogue isn't properly spaced between characters which makes it hard to follow along. There's also not enough description of setting to establish a sense of place or in depth characterization to connect with the characters. I also think the grammar could be reworked so the story's far more enjoyable.

But overall, good story with potential.

Amazing Story!

Luminous is storytelling as its best. The writer's use of exposition and dialogue to push the story was exceptional.

Meya is a beautifully written character, so well written I felt the hurt she felt, especially with being the black sheep and all. The tale's got a bitter-sweet feeling, 5 chapters in and I'm wiping my eyes, especially that scene with her father. The hurt she felt when he said those things, I felt it and that is an amazing skill.

There's a curiosity to know why Meya is green-eyed and what the future holds for her, and what her new life at the Hadden castle will amount to. As upset as I got with Mirram Hild, I loved his POV, it was sarcastic and very enjoyable to read. There's a lot I want to say, but I'd rather go to the comment sections in the story to dish 🥰

There's a symbolism I really liked and that's the categories with Marin topping it and Meya at the very bottom, and how te Hilds' names start with an 'M'.

The setting and premise are so well done, down to the vivid relationship Meya had with all her siblings and her parents. A masterpiece, this one.

A Must Read

This story's got all of my favourite things, and although just a few chapters in, the author already laid out the stakes and it goes straight into action. At this point, I can't predict where the story's headed nor do I know how the great evil, the plan of the gods or the dragon kins play into all of this, but I so cannot wait to find out. If you're a sucker for high fantasy stories, this is a must-read.

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Why Haven't You Read This Yet?

I love this tale Karin, you did an amazing job weaving all these different characters into a world outside their own worlds. The friendship, comradery, battle and the love, oh 'twas incredible to read.

It's my second time reading this all over. It's got action, romance, and fantastic dialogue and world building. Amazing writing Karin. I don't mean to be biased but Sapphire and Death's love story is my favourite! So beautiful.

Interesting Story

The story's got an interesting premise. Intrigue, suspense and wonder. It's a promising read and quite difficult to predict where exactly the plot's headed. The blurb's got me sold on what the secret to heaven is, who wouldn't want to know that? 😄

A Must Read!

I can’t wait to re-read this here! I love it, my favourite part is how they met❤️❤️❤️, such beautiful writing Karin.

Good story

It’s a promising tale. I believe it’s the first draft so I look forward to seeing how it turns out after the writer polishes it up and fixes the mechanics.

Story wise, it is quite interesting especially with the entire intergalactic battles and quest for answers, which I believe is also a quest to discover and find oneself. I would have loved more vivid world building, there isn’t a sense of time in regards to how long their intergalactic travels take or getting from one point to the other. It appears the major chuck of world-building went into the prologue and then everything else doesn’t follow.

Character wise, I liked Selene’s determination and audaciousness, especially with Lotus. But then it quickly became irksome because she thought she could say whatever she wanted to whoever cos she is Selene, a Tenno of the first team and a badass.

One drawback for me was a chunk of the dialogue. They need to be restructured and reword to be more propelling.

My personal opinion is this: given how the team is propped up as the first team and all; losing one of their best fighters like that didn’t add up. I still can’t digest the entire death scene. Another troubling issue is that as the first team, such a case shouldn’t be so hard to crack. They kept dwelling on a no brainer even though they knew it was a no brainer. It just seemed to drag on with the team idling around for nothing.

Selene’s character and sense of entitlement made this hard to read. I still don’t understand her conviction in stating her team failed her, that’s not the case, not from what I read.

If they had expressly told her to stop digging or something along those lines I’d be more inclined to believe that they had in fact failed her. She fails to be logical in seeing things from their perspective, perhaps that’s where her character arc occurs further down the road.

Still I have to commend the writer for creating a character that I feel very strongly about. It’s very good characterization.

THE ARTIFACT

I loved this story. I enjoyed how it started off first in both Wahya and Morgan's original worlds and time and then from running for his life he crash lands on Morgan, in the future. Her response to him was enjoyable to read, as was his reaction to the time jump and his 'artifact'.

I would say it was quite endearing how they're able to trust each other without understanding what the other was saying. I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed Wahya's POV. The author does a great job of building the characters and their interests through switching between their POV.

I'm curious about how they'll make things work, and why Wahya jumped to 2023. We understand how both parties came to be in possession of the gorget, but why Wahya? Why jump then? What are the stakes? I'm eager to learn those as their slow budding romance forms.

I HEAR YOU

The story's plot is new and unique. I was thrown with the prologue [by the way, the name David Keen completely reminded me of Tom and Elizabeth Keen from the Blacklist, but I digress], wondering how he'd hear the music if he went through with the surgery and the relationship between David, Ryker and Porter.

I love how the chapters are rotated between Ryker and Porter. Porter's silent entry into Ryker's life and Ryker's reaction to his genuine interest in both him and his music was so sweet to read. The author did a great job portraying Ryker's dilemma with being different and the consequences of such in school. Not to mention his acceptance of his place in the social hierarchy and how he tries to push Porter away to spare him.

In terms of mechanics, this needs a good round of editing. There's a tense issue with switching between past and present as well as hard to follow dialogue, with almost no exposition in certain chapters. However, the plot's solid and this is set to be a fantastic read once it's polished and properly edited.

THE POWER OF KNOWLEDGE:

The Power Of Knowledge is a very well written fantasy tale that takes you on a journey with a group of 'charmed' who are seemingly given a choice, but not quite.

I quite enjoyed the writer's ability to give each character a distinctive background, experience and motivation. Such that we're able to see how Allegra perceived Sophie with her 'princess' remark and how Harlan although born into affluence isn't as irksome as the kind usually is. Those little contrasts in personality; Harlan's outspokenness and carefreeness as well as Sophie's prim and proper decorum did a lot to establish their character.

I enjoyed the premise as well, and how Sophie's charm links back to the title of the book, it's one of those connections that instantly pulls me in. Another fantastic thing about this story is the author's grammar, it is impeccable. The choice of words and structure is so remarkable. It ties in well with the setting and the time period of the story.

The descriptions and dialogue, and might I add how the backstories and history of how the charmed came to be impacted the way they are, were seamlessly entrenched into the actual storytelling without coming off as 'telling'.

Good Story

Mcota is a good story, quite expected and not at all unusual compared with other fantasy stories. It’s got the usual ‘new school’ ‘new life’ ‘hot guy’ plot which is a bit overdone, but it’s a good story, and I look forward to seeing the author's twist on this.

What I love most about this tale is Khaliah. I love her characterization and how relatable she is as a person I would actually want to meet. She's portrayed as strong and quite philosophical, and not in the usual 'bratty' way. I love that she's confident and sure of herself. I believe more heroines need to be written like this.

Ethan fits well into his 'Mr mysterious' role, which keeps the suspense and edge to the story, and his POV is where the eerie goodness is. The exposition sometimes strayed into some sort of ideological broodings and I loved it.

In terms of mechanics, there was more telling as opposed to showing, and I would have preferred far more superior grammar to really paint a more vivid picture.

Overall, it's a very promising tale.

Fantastic Story!

Spolier alert; you will end up binging this goodness at a go. It's a very fascinating tale that has a native 'tales by moonlight' feeling to it. I loved the narration and how unique each character’s voice was.

It gave me chills, at first it started off mellow, like perfect family and all, then Finn happens and everything else booms, along with the forest. And just when you think you’ve seen it all, Finn shows up again with the most amazing personality, and oh the slow budding romance between Maeve and Hakken, or is it the friendship with Regn? Or the appearance of the ancients? I can’t really bask in how much I thoroughly enjoyed this without spoilers so I’ll put a pin in it.

This was a beautiful story, it engaged all of my emotions and I couldn’t put it down until I finished. Well done!

In terms of mechanics, there were a few errors, they did not distract from the story, of course. Nothing a round of editing wouldn’t fix. I did notice that you tend to write it like this ‘how I would’ instead of ‘how would I’ it happened a handful of times.

Good Story

The premise of the story is quite nice and the plot's intriguing. The one draw back is the mechanics, it's nothing a good editing round wouldn't fix. While this might dissuade some readers, I'd urge them to give the story a chance, overtime you get past the mechanics and really get into the plot and story structure and how the tension rises with the Lycans and Amora and the Anomalies.

What I'm looking forward to at this point is character development for both Amora and Xavier. I want to see how their feelings for each other, as well as their involvement in this war against the Anomalies really shapes who they become.

Binged In One Sitting

I thoroughly enjoyed how you took us into his journey of friendship and brothers in arm. So well done and unexpected. I really want to see what becomes of the duo and Berenike as well.