Xam_Areogami

Antipolo

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

There's always room for improvement

I commend this book for a good fantasy setting build up and concept, even mainstreamed, the writer is able to make it as truly hers.
Now, I just really want to suggest that it needs a major editing, it's not the best of the best.
On the very first chapter, I really got confused cause the story pacing is too fast, like literally woah, wait, dude! It's just so fast with how the scenes jumps from one to another that makes it so confusing.
This story is long cause it is consisting of 95+ chapters and in this kind of story category, the writer should focus first on the establishment of the story. The problem with this, the writer didn't let the readers cope up easily with the pacing. Imagine yourself as a dancer and you knew very well the dance choreography you are practicing so you are keeping up with the steps and beats while your dance mates doesn't follow at all cause you are too fast and too overwhelmed in dancing so you left them behind confused and lost. Since the writer have a very long chapters ahead of her, I suggest, focus more on story element build up like establishment—this is the part where the writer will give readers background about the personal life of the main and general characters like the age, the personality, the life background, the status and some more details that are important in the story that will be helpful in the plot development. Then you also need to focus on the character development along the way, then the build up and introduction of story conflict. This story is lacking with the establishment and conflict build up cause in the very first chapter, it already jumped from other dimensions and dropped the conflicts without giving proper character introduction and without right story pace. This story is a good start but please hone your narrative style, exposition and whatever more this story is lacking for its betterment and improvement. Thank you.

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